Courtney came over to see my new puppy and here is my recount of what we talked about:
Courtney: You have an adorable puppy! Can I have her?
Kyle: Hah, no.
C: She's really obedient for only 10 weeks.
K: Definitely. I've been working with her a lot, plus she's a smart dog. My breeder gave me a bunch of articles and I've read a bunch of books in preparation.
C: Whatever you're doing, she's learning! --How's your book coming?
K: It's great.--I told you I'm finished with a first draft, right?--a very rough draft.
C: Ya, I heard. What's it about again?
K: Communication, Relationships, and Conflict Management.
C: You sound like you have that line memorized.
K: I do. It's the best way to describe the book. It's mostly about relationships and how to have great relationships in these modern times, but I cover a lot of topics like love, marriage, life, peace, happiness, values, the human condition, leadership--
C: I'm sure it'll be great when it's finished. Can you give me an example of anything you talk about?
K: Not off the top of my head--like, I don't have any of it memorized and just as well with how much revision I need to do--it's easier to kill it if I need to get rid of it because I'm not so attached...but, maybe I'll bring this up: I talk about how communication is really what makes a great leader and that learning the skills and theory that I present in the book is going to also make you a good leader. However, reading the books I have on dogs I don't think people really understand the concept of a leader...
C: How so?
K: Well, a few of the books and articles I've read about dogs directly use the term "leader" but they're referring to the pack leader--obviously--and of course they aren't going to talk about what a real leader is because to be a leader of humans is different from that of a dogs.
C: Okay..and your point is? --I mean, you're reading about dogs not human leadership.
K: Yes, but I've noticed something interesting about people and dogs--basically, you can apply the same principles to humans as you do dogs.
C: Kyle, I don't mean to be rude, but you're basically saying to treat people like dogs.
K: I am.
C: ...like animals.
K: Yes.
C: That seems beneath the human race, but go on.
K: I honestly think that's what 99% of our present leaders do, and that's why it's hard to find a great leader.
C: Please explain...
K: The key thread that I see from reading as many books about both topics: dogs and leadership, is that people want to be treated like dogs. They don't want to think for themselves, they just want to be taken care of like a dog is taken care of by its master.
C: ...I'm with you so far...
K: ...Then there is the dominance thing.
C: Dominance? --like...people want to be dominated?
K: --in a sense, yes! See, dogs want to have a clear understanding of their place in the hierarchy. It makes them less stressed because if they think they are above a human, they have to maintain order in the pack and that means fighting against the human will.--dogs aren't naturally aggressive, they get that way when they think it's their only option in order to maintain discipline.
C: Equate that in human terms...what makes you think humans are this way?
K: Humans don't want to be leaders, but when the leaders don't establish themselves in a way that makes them appear a leader--or appear the alpha--then the underlings think it is their responsibility to get aggressive--not always physically aggressive, because our physical prowess isn't our greatest attribute, but verbally.
C: Ahhh. I see.--
K: --there's more: I read that dogs assume the leader--the alpha--holds eye contact the longest, enters and exists the room first and expects the pack to follow, and doesn't give anything unless they get something from the pack first because it helps maintain their alpha status.--reminds me a lot of religious leaders, or the guys that girls want to be with.
C: Hahahahhahahha.
K: Yes, it's humorous but, don't you see the truth of it?
C: Maybe a little. I mean I see a lot of girls act crazy over a guy who treats them like a puppy...
K: --That's not real leadership. It's alpha leadership but it's not legitimate and is more a form of manipulation than leadership.
C: Ok, I agree. I think people can be a little like dogs to their leaders and when the leader is bad the dog--the individual is undisciplined as well. --This is a very interesting topic that maybe we could talk about some other time and make it on your blog?
K: Absolutely!
