I'm taking the bulk of my thesis information and logic from this community reddit post: https://m.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1lr2jt/an_open_letter_to_single_mothers/


Reasons single men should not [seriously] date single mothers:

1. You will never be the main priority
2. She doesn't have a good track record with relationships
3. Another Man (the baby-daddy) will be your master
4. You are held financially responsible for her children
5. She'll have a higher expectation for you than she did her ex
6. There are better options out there

First of all, you can't be the same priority level as she is to you. If she has one kid, then kid A has priority over herself who has priority over you. If she has two kids, Kid A has priority and Kid B has priority and then she has priority and then you are the next in line of her priorities. Whereas you are your number one priority followed by her being your second priority. If she puts it any other way, then she's probably not a good mom--or a good person, and you shouldn't date her anyway. 

Second, there is a reason she's single. If she was divorced, it's a sign she didn't or couldn't work things out. If she was never married, then she was irresponsible somewhere along the way. The same arguments apply towards people who are divorced and why you shouldn't usually date them, but single moms should at least be responsible enough to not have children until they are in a stable enough relationship that it's not going to end.

There are a lot of counter-claims towards this argument, but I think it's fair to say that we don't know why a divorce happens, perhaps it has something to do with a pre-existing fault in both people that surfaced after marriage, in which case, how will you know if they've fixed their faults? Or perhaps it is that she developed bad habits during the relationship that caused unresolved conflicts in the relationship. Or maybe she didn't resolve conflicts. Or maybe she really isn't at fault for the divorce, but she is definitely affected by it. She has a lot of scars from it. She will always have those scars. Marriage is serious business, and divorce is equally serious; you don't walk away from that unchanged.

Want to go out to dinner to celebrate an accomplishment?--Too bad, you have kids and need a sitter. Want to have thanksgiving dinner as a family at your parents? Too bad, her baby daddy has the kids. Want to move out of state? Nope, in some situations the custody agreement bars her from moving more than 100 miles away. Want to go on a family cruise? Nope--don't have baby daddy's written permission to leave the country. --Not all guys are bad, but if she gets remarried, you can bet that he's going to be a source of drama when the kids want to call you their new dad.

Lets say baby daddy doesn't pay child support--where does mom get the money? If your finances are mixed then part of the money comes from your pocket. Your hard labor goes to these children who aren't even yours. If she works, then someone has to pay for a sitter--or YOU become the sitter. If she doesn't work then you definitely pay for it. You see--no matter how you cut the situation you're going to end up paying for these kids with both money, and with time.

Women--people in general--think that after something bad they can only get better, and they apply this to their relationships as well. After a relationship they say that "the next one will be better." After they get divorced and have these kids to take care of they say "I want my next husband to be more X and have more Y and do more Z and be a father to my children and ABCD" They don't say "I hope I find someone just like my ex." They hold you to higher standards than they did their ex, and if you start reacting the same way their ex did (go back and read reason #2) then they hold the same level of animosity towards you that they did their ex, because you're just like him. 

Finally, if you're single, you have plenty of options to choose from. Find someone who is single just like you and doesn't have baggage. When placed with the choice of someone single vs someone who has kids, you would always choose the single person because there is much more potential there and the risks are lower. Being a single mom does not make them a better person, they can be just as irresponsible as single-no-children women. And even if they are responsible and make a lot of money and have all of these good traits, there is always some single woman out there who is just as responsible, has as much money and has good traits --but doesn't have children. The only reason to choose a single mom is if you are suddenly off of the market for single women--if there are none left period. 

Now, there's no reason you can't be good friends with single moms. And there is no reason why you can't sleep with them. But do not get serious with them and think you're going to have a relationship with them, because of the above reasons. 

Allan Watt's Chief Belief

Alan Watt's belief on the universe is that we are all timeless beings that are made up of pure energy. Because of our timelessness, we live multiple lives--birth to death--one at a time until we have experienced every life of every time period. --With that basis of belief, it becomes logical to say that we are all equals (Because we are all the same, just different time-space continuums) and to be accepting of everyone and everything.
It is easy for him to accept that the world is both yin and yang and that's okay, that people are made up of good and bad, that good things happen to bad people and bad things to good people --but the problem is that people apply what he says to their own belief systems and think that they can partially believe that everyone is equal and not that we are in fact the same person on different time-scales.

People who follow Allan Watts and several of these new age thinkers seem to say that the purpose of life is simply to exist. Which in itself is to say that there is no purpose to life, you exist, then you don't exist, you have a purpose then you die and your purpose is lost. --That makes a lot of sense in the atomic world simply because when atoms are connected, they have a purpose--they are more than just a single atom but are instead a chemical compound that makes an impact and therefore has a Use.

But this is the line of thinking that I have to step back from.

Just because something can be used a certain way, does not mean it should be used in that way.

e.g. Guns were created with the purpose of killing people, but not all guns should be used that way, or as my favorite director put it "Good swords are left sharp," i.e. they are never used and therefore never dull.

In other words, just because you think you were born to do something--whatever that may be--does not mean that you are destined to do it or that you should do it.

Furthermore, just because you are made up of energy--atoms, molecules glued together and organized by some mysterious force--does not mean that you are truly timeless. Salt is not Sodium and salt is not Chloride just because it is part sodium part chloride. Our person is not timeless. We are not timeless. Every moment counts. And we are not everyone else.



They say that only when you find out what something is not do you prove. You can never know anything other than what it is not, because the process of knowledge is based on elimination and the variables are infinite. I think I have debunked that theory--or rather that chain of theories is discredited by debunking their premise: that somehow we are energy simply because we are made of energy, and until someone else can come along and provide another valid theory as to why we are timeless beings, I will be left to wonder at that.