100 hours

I live
100 hours
Each night
Waiting
For that sun to rise--
--The moment that it sets.

I can't sleep
I can't eat
I shake
I feel pain
But I know the end is far off

Like a twitch in code
that keeps repeating
because of some error
I'm broken
so I keep repeating
and I can't get passed that one line
The endstop

I want to sleep
to escape
but I can't sleep
and it haunts me
all night
until dawn
when I finally sleep
those demons can't catch me

But when I wake
I have less time
to do what needs to be done
And somehow I get it all done
in less time
Somehow
And then the sun sets...

What I want to do with my life

I'm still trying to put into words what I want to get out of life....It's a good thing I have longevitous genes and a lack of health problems in my family line because I think I'll need to live to be 100 to figure it out for certain.

Along the way to where I am now, I think I have figured out a few things that I definitely want to do with my life and they are:

1. I want to teach people to Love. Really love from deep within and to connect with one another, to feel connected to friends, family and community. I desperately want to devote my life to this cause, though the sheer size of this feat is overwhelming and thus far I've only taken it one day at a time.
2. I want to teach people that we are all human. When I made the realization that everything that the whole world was telling me about itself was just a facade used to hide what really goes on, I came to a few hard conclusions about human beings. I learned that nearly everyone who exists does not operate on what they want, they operate on what they don't want. Only a few select people go after what they want, the rest run away from what they don't want or run towards things that they think will bring them closer to what they want only to realize that it isn't what they want. Nearly Everyone is doing this. They work towards retirement because they are too scared to do those things today. They work for an employer because they are too scared to work for themselves. They go to church and pray because they are too scared to go out in the world and solve their own problems on their own. They waste so many hours each day worry about what they have no control over and hoping things will happen that they have no control over. Yet, as pathetic as all of this sounds, they have the potential to change their mindset and work for things that they really want--not things that they think they want, like money or fame or power, but the love of others, peaceful moments of rest, exciting moments of work, entertaining wholesome moments with friends, and compassionate acts for others.
   The very few people I have found who are able to focus on these important things are the ones who are happiest with their lives, most content, and most optimistic about the future--even often with the worst things happening to them. And I want to teach people about this and how we are all equal. When you throw out the things that don't matter, you realize that people who are wealthy are running from the same things that people who are poor are. You realize that talented artists are only talented because they put the time in--and had the time to put in--not because they are so very different but because they are devoted. You realize that everyone who is better than you is no different from you regardless of where they were born, what their skin color is, what their likes and dislikes are--none of that is relevant. What's relevant is that we are all capable of having those simple things that we really deep down want, but because we are human we get sidetracked from them and go after things that aren't what we want even though they may appear to lead to what we want. 
3. I want to live independently. I want to be free. I don't care about money if it means I have to be tied down to using money, I don't want to work for someone else if it means I can't walk away at any time. I want to maintain my ability to choose, so that when I choose, I am fully committed. 

I hope to add to this list some day, but I think that's a pretty extensive list and will keep me occupited for many many years .

Yet another thing that bogs society down...

People really don't know how to love, do they?

Is that because they don't know what love is, or is it because they don't know how to give it?

Love is simple. Here, try this formula:

Mutual respect + quality time together + care and concern for their well being + follow through on commitments + taking risk and making an investment in them + forgiveness = Love.

❤️

The more you can respect people, the more they will feel loved. If you couple that with quality time together, they'll feel loved. When you worry about their well being, they'll feel like you love them. When you make commitments to them and then you follow through on this commitments, they'll feel it. When you put yourself on the line for them, they'll feel it. When you have no other motivations and yet you still forgive them, they'll feel it. And the more of these inputs you can give to other people, the more they will feel loved. 

But perhaps that's not good enough for most people and they want to know what love is, not how to love. 

Love is so simple it can be summed up to a single sentence:

Love is desiring a bright, successful future for another to the point of going out of the way to assist them in creating that future.

Still not enough? 

Why complicate love? Love doesn't need to become an amalgamation of many things. Love is at the very root of all of those things that people think are love and yet over complicate it. 

Yes, love is desirable; in fact, love is the most desirable thing in the universe. Love is what everyone returns to when they need to regain solid grounding in their life. Love can overcome any human will or desire. Love even has the ability to matter more than individual existence--Yes, people die from love and for the sake of love. 

We all want love, especially those people who have hardened and built up walls and pretend that love is irrelevant in their life. 

It is holiday season and I think it's time that we as a human race devote ourselves to loving more.

Love everyone, but especially love the people who are important to you. They need to feel loved now more than ever. They need it desperately because they need more examples to live by. If not for the rest of your life, please just love until the end of the year. Reach out to people and love mankind enough to long for a better future for humanity.

I love you. Thank you for listening, you're a good person.

Capitalism and the Minimum Wage Revisted

I know I posted an article a while back that was PRO raising the minimum wage, but I think enough time has passed for me to revisit that idea. --Actually, at teh moment I can't find where my article went, so maybe I started to write it and changed my mind. The gist of that argument was that if we raised the minimum wage now, there would be a temporary period where the market needs to catch up. During that time period people would be able to catch up on their expenses and hopefully cut down expenses for when the market caught up to the new wage. --I didn't at the time think that it was a long-term solution, but it could potentally solve some short-term problems that drag down the long-term.

One drawback I imediately saw to the article was the timing of it, so that might be why I deleted it and never posted it: The economy has improved. Not only statistically, but I can see a lot of things that are different now that make me optimistic about getting a job if ever I need one. When I was young (in 2007) and couldn't find a job that would pay the bills, I complained. But now that I'm older and more stabilized, I realize that I can live on so much less (we're talking $300/mo + rent). I realize that rent is relative, because right now I cost-share my rent between 2 other people and 1/3rd comes down to about $450. It's an awesome setup, close to the freeway and downtown shopping, low crime, great area all around, but I also realize if I Wanted more I would have to pay more...like if I didn't want 2 roommates I could get a place for 2x as much ($900 would cover a 1 bed 1 bath dog friendly place I bet). Either way, 900 + 300 or 450+300 = 750 - 1200 ---I don't like putting this out there to the world, but in order to make a point I guess I have to get a little personal now and again. 1200/mo divided by 4 weeks a month 40 hours a week comes down to $7.50/ hour, which is close to the minimum wage.
Of course, I'm not working at the minimum wage, nor am I working 40 hours a week, because I've managed to streamline my processes and become efficient in making money. I work maybe 20 hours a week if that and often debate if I should be looking for more work or not when I'm comfortable and happy and the funny thing is that maybe 16 hours of that is spent at a low paying job that I could easily replace but choose not to because I like it there. My stress level is at an all time low when it comes to my financial concerns, and that is what makes me think that the economy is good again--well, that and the fact that I have several job offers on the table right now, all of which pay more than $7.50/hr (haha)

Even still, there is some hubub about raising the minimum wage going around, and I think I need to revisit my original PRO stance for it. Aside from it not being the right time to raise the minimum wage, I think we need to consider that the problem is not with the minimum wage. The problem is with the rising inflating dollar. --Our cost of living has risen due to changes to western culture (the need to have a cell phone now for example), and the rising cost of rent and other expenses.

Rent has been rising for what I see as two reasons: market demand, and capitalization. When the demand for rental units rose from 2007 and people opted not to own their own homes or could not afford to, capitalists swooped in and bought up the rental market and started renting it out. In other words, if you survived 2007 you decided to invest in real estate rentals because of the assumption that everyone will need to rent at some point in time. Rentals charge more than houses do because of the cost + profit model of pricing (you buy an investment, you want to make money, so you charge what it cost you [i.e. your mortgage or the lack of money you suddenly have] plus you tack on some profit.) Automatically, if you are renting, you are paying the mortgage of another plus some, so if you could afford to get the mortgage yourself, you would be cutting back expenses. That's how capitalism works: you pay the loan on the equipment to produce the goods, plus some for profit.
The other reason rentals are so high is the variablilty of these capitalists--some are paying more on the mortgage and if you have a better loan, you are essentially more efficently making money, so why not charge the same price as your competitor who has a comparable rental and net more profit?


Rent is maybe the biggest expense of everyone when it comes to cost of living. In other words, if you can lower the cost of rent, the cost of living with definitely go down. So instead of raising the minimum wage, wouldn't another alternative be to lower the cost of rent? Maybe the federal government could offer refinancing options to landlords who meet a certain criteria, part of which includes the agreement to lower rent for X years?

More on this later....

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What a Dime Piece wants

Imagine, for a moment, that you have lots of money, that you were born with good looks, honed charm, and lots of friends. 

Now, still imagining, what more would you want in life?

General consensus would say that you "want what you can't have," but that isn't true with most people in that situation--or at least not entirely true. 

When most people find wealth, they turn to things that comfort them: drugs, pet projects, even prostitutes. Some people take up gambling because it makes them feel in control, others take up investments and figurative roles as head of X or Y because then they can feel like they are a part of something. Furthermore, the extremely wealthy preoccupy their lives with "cheap company"; they buy friendships and they even buy sex, usually coupled with other things like drugs and parties. --But what can you learn from this?

When a person suddenly has supposed unlimited power due to the things they possess (money, fame, good looks, etc) they don't really change much. They still go after their root passions and seek to fulfill their needs just like less powerful people do--or even how they did before amassing such power. They still try to get over boredom, but they do it in a different way. They still seek respect, a sense of belonging, or responsibility for life; even if they don't realize that these are the things they are striving for. 

The next time you see someone who, in your mind, is a perfect 10, just remember that they are a person too. Whatever could you provide them that they don't already have? Why should they be with you? What sets you above the rest?

--These are just people! They still want excitement; they still want companionship. They want to be happy, and respected, and loved. 

If you had what they have, would any of those things mean anything to you? Would money mean anything to you if you had an unlimited supply? Would beauty mean anything to you if you were full of natural beauty? If you had a lot of charm and charisma, would you really care about being around charismatic people? No. No No NO. You would not. You would be looking for that one person who has what you're really looking for.

One great mystery of life is that people really do want what they don't already have. Nothing you do can change that for them. People who obsess over being beautiful only do so because they are not naturally beautiful. If you try to show them you too are endowed with great looks, you will only make them jealous, insecure, or weak. This is because you will put on a facade that you somehow have what they do not have and their comparison to you will only make them feel disgusting inside. 

The true thing that someone who is perfect wants, deep down, are the things that anybody wants: peace, happiness, safety, respect, and most importantly, Love. Show people that you are fully capable of loving them and they will give up their money, their fame, their beauty, their whatever they have, because, isn't that what we all really want?