After my post yesterday I thought I'd make a bold argument by claiming that the key to winning me over is to give me a lot of attention. --Take an interest in my life, do some research of your own on the things that I claim to enjoy. Talk to me on a regular basis. Give me the things I want and you'll start to see me trying to give you things you want.
It's so simple it's stupid.
However, I'll be honest when I say that THAT is the trick to winning ANYONE over. You talk to them, you get to know them. You ask them questions and you answer their questions. You take a genuine interest in their life and you don't repeat questions that have already been answered because you listened the first time, were interested the first time, and ate it all up the first time. Listen, and take an interest. That's the key to developing a solid relationship with anyone, whether it's the cop who you are trying to swoon to overlook a few issues on your drivers license, or your husband who has suddenly lost "interest" in you.
1When it comes down to it, if you really are interested in someone and you want them to be interested in you too, or you want them to do things for you, all you have to do is build a good relationship with them in which they trust you and want to help you out.
2You can build relationships in the first 30sec of meeting someone that will do this for you. --I get people to give me gifts all the time who do not know me but who take an interest in me and desire to please me. It's crazy, I know, but it works. And it's also very dangerous because it's so easy to manipulate people and fake "interest" in them so that they'll help you out.
3It isn't as simple as it sounds, well, it isn't as easy to do as it sounds, and it's even harder to do it long term--(which is why when you use it to manipulate people you have to be fully committed to manipulating or you lose interest and you give up, of you start taking interest in what they are giving you and not the person, and they start to get smart and recognize that you're interested in their money or means and not them as a person)
You can apply these 3 statements to every person in your life just as a micro example, lets say you want to get free desert from someone:
1. You find someone who has desert and you take an interest in that person. You approach them, you talk to them.
2. You devote the first few minutes with them building up the right kind of relationship in which this person will desire to give you desert because they enjoy or appreciate you.
3. You put a lot of devotion into pleasing them for that first few minutes and suddenly they are convinced that your company is worth giving you desert.
Boom.--Trade-off. You get your just dessert, they make a friend, they enjoy your company, you flatter them, they feel good about themselves, etc. etc.--the benefits from someone taking an interest in your life outweigh 90% of people's other priorities. Even babies learn this and that's why they cry to get your attention: because they know they're being taken care of if you're in the room giving them attention.
Before you dismiss everything I just said above as hogwash, let me explain something else: the life of an entertainer, whether it's a singer, a movie star, etc. etc. When you go to a show, you're paying them to entertain you. You like the entertainers who you can relate to either because they are your counter, because you are just like them, or because they bring out emotions in you that you don't often experience. --The trade off. You get these feelings, you feel intrigued, you make a "friend" out of someone imaginary but that you can relate to, recognize, and sympathize with, and they get your money and your full attention and fame.
Ethically speaking though, is it right to have relationships with such trade-offs?--I would say yes, with a clause...
The clause is that everything has to be real. You need to take a real interest in someone before you eat their cookies. You need to believe it and they need to believe it. If all you're doing is sucking up to someone who you don't like in order to get something from them then you're being quite unethical because you're giving them something that isn't real in exchange for something they own that is real. You can't give away fake emotions. --that's one of the rules in film directing too: You can't give away fake emotions. Your actors have to be really feeling it or A)you're giving your audience garbage. B)you're making money unethically.
And it's that simple. Are you convinced yet?
One of these days I'll get around to persuading you on why it's so important to be ethical, but not today. Just trust me. It is.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Ikiru is a Good movie
There is a bit of knowledge I really stand conflicted on...and it's something that has really played with my life as I experiment with it.
Let me do some leading up before I explain it:
As the title states, Ikiru is a good movie. It's a movie directed by my favorite director, Akira Kurosawa. The story is about an old man working in the bureaucratic system of city management in Japan. He's over PR I believe. As the story starts to take off, the main character is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in a time and place where treatment for it was improbable. --He was given a diagnosis that he would die essentially.
At the sight of death, he realizes that he has done nothing with his life and he wants to experience things he should have done. He meets a drunkard writer who has "seen the world" and becomes his guide on the journey he begins. He also meets a young girl who worked under him in the city system and who needs his permission to quit her job (japanese laws, mleh).
To summarize the rest of the movie, the man goes through MANY phases of riotous living and falling for this young girl and realizes she's creeped out by him because he's old and she's young, but at the same time she pities him. He hits rock bottom (this all takes place in like a weeks time I believe) and then comes to the realization that although he is going to die, he can make a difference in the world and he sets out to help other people with the final days of his life. He sacrifices many things and then passes away. At his funeral he gets no credit or confused credit (the people whose lives he touched honor him, but everyone else doesn't see it and they think he was foolish). But you walk away from the movie feeling empowered that you can make a difference --the movie is VERY persuasive and I love it deeply.
At one point though, there is scene where the character remembers a song--I can't recall the exact quote of the movie but the main line is: life is brief, fall in love maidens.
(I'll insert the quote if I can find it):
Life is brief. Fall in love, maidens,
Before the crimson bloom fades from your lips,
Before the tides of passion cool within you,
For those of you who know no tomorrow.
Life is brief. Fall in love, maidens,
Before his hands take up his boat,
Before the flush of his cheeks fades,
For those of you who will never return here.
Life is brief. Fall in love, maidens,
Before the boat drifts away on the waves,
Before the hand resting on your shoulder becomes frail,
For those who will never be seen here again.
Life is brief. Fall in love, maidens,
Before the raven tresses begin to fade,
Before the flame in your hearts flicker and die,
For those to whom today will never return.
--- Essentially the meaning I take from the song is that you should fall in love before the person you love is gone and you are too.
I can tell you now that I have never felt so human as when I watched that movie. It brought out a lot of emotions in me and thoughts and divine potential and many other things that tell me I am alive, this life is real, and that I make a difference in it, but the conflict I face in life centers around just that song, and I shall attempt to paint a picture of how and why it centers around that song.
I've always been lonely in life. I don't know if it is because of some event that happened while I was young, but as far back as I can remember I have had this innate desire to be loved by other people. I needed attention, but not just attention, I needed people who I could turn to on a regular basis for emotional support. I spent a lot of my childhood trying to impress my parents, trying to be popular at school and have friends, even trying to be around my brother and sister, because I was lonely.
I hate being alone.
Yet all of my life I have felt very much alone. I have had to do everything on my own, I've been left on my own so often, and I have felt, at times, as though no one out there cared for me. I went through a part of my life where I was very much my only friend, or at least I was the only one who paid any attention to me. And this loneliness has molded and shaped me.
I pursued various things and learned many things simply because no one was listening to me, no one was watching me, no one was doing anything with me really. I just existed and I hit a point where I contemplated suicide, but faced with death in that sense, I decided I needed to change my life around somehow, and that's what started my learning process.
The problem was that while I was going through that stage of life, I stopped caring about other people. I gave up a great part of my own humanity it seemed. I stopped feeling emotions because I was hurt so bad--and it wasn't just a one time hurt, it was years compounding together of me being the youngest son who was never good enough, whose friends turned their backs on me, whose own brothers and sisters were always fighting with me and who just didn't fit in the world anywhere.
In one sense I died back then.
No one who knew me back then would know me now. My personality is very different. I have confidence now, I have self esteem and self worth, and yet, I still face the same problems that I have always faced: I strive for attention and I have a strong desire to be loved.
I have experimented with various things in an attempt to fulfill those two great needs of mine, but for the past few years I have had a hard time feeling them.
So with that in mind, when I say that I have a conflict with the line: "life is short, fall in love maidens [and young men]", it is because my whole life I have tried to be loved and yet, as Eminem says "[I] get no love".
I have had very many successes, I've developed a good character, I've mastered a lot of admirable traits, and I've gained a vision of what I would like to become. Yet every day I wake up and I'm all alone. Nothing I do with my own hands warrants love and attention. I have more enemies than I have friends, and then I realize that the only thing that gets me through the day is that I have hope for the future--a hope that fades with each day.
I feel as though I have gone beyond what that song says. I feel as though I'm too old to experience love the way I would like because I'm too serious now and I don't get excited very easily. ad hock: I'm out there trying to teach people skills they need to just fall in love while they're young and save themselves the problems i have faced.
I very much feel like an expensive violin that has a flaw in it and no one wants to take it or can afford it. I'm just waiting for someone to come along who realizes my worth who can fix me up and turn me into one of the best violins on the market.
Let me do some leading up before I explain it:
As the title states, Ikiru is a good movie. It's a movie directed by my favorite director, Akira Kurosawa. The story is about an old man working in the bureaucratic system of city management in Japan. He's over PR I believe. As the story starts to take off, the main character is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in a time and place where treatment for it was improbable. --He was given a diagnosis that he would die essentially.
At the sight of death, he realizes that he has done nothing with his life and he wants to experience things he should have done. He meets a drunkard writer who has "seen the world" and becomes his guide on the journey he begins. He also meets a young girl who worked under him in the city system and who needs his permission to quit her job (japanese laws, mleh).
To summarize the rest of the movie, the man goes through MANY phases of riotous living and falling for this young girl and realizes she's creeped out by him because he's old and she's young, but at the same time she pities him. He hits rock bottom (this all takes place in like a weeks time I believe) and then comes to the realization that although he is going to die, he can make a difference in the world and he sets out to help other people with the final days of his life. He sacrifices many things and then passes away. At his funeral he gets no credit or confused credit (the people whose lives he touched honor him, but everyone else doesn't see it and they think he was foolish). But you walk away from the movie feeling empowered that you can make a difference --the movie is VERY persuasive and I love it deeply.
At one point though, there is scene where the character remembers a song--I can't recall the exact quote of the movie but the main line is: life is brief, fall in love maidens.
(I'll insert the quote if I can find it):
Life is brief. Fall in love, maidens,
Before the crimson bloom fades from your lips,
Before the tides of passion cool within you,
For those of you who know no tomorrow.
Life is brief. Fall in love, maidens,
Before his hands take up his boat,
Before the flush of his cheeks fades,
For those of you who will never return here.
Life is brief. Fall in love, maidens,
Before the boat drifts away on the waves,
Before the hand resting on your shoulder becomes frail,
For those who will never be seen here again.
Life is brief. Fall in love, maidens,
Before the raven tresses begin to fade,
Before the flame in your hearts flicker and die,
For those to whom today will never return.
--- Essentially the meaning I take from the song is that you should fall in love before the person you love is gone and you are too.
I can tell you now that I have never felt so human as when I watched that movie. It brought out a lot of emotions in me and thoughts and divine potential and many other things that tell me I am alive, this life is real, and that I make a difference in it, but the conflict I face in life centers around just that song, and I shall attempt to paint a picture of how and why it centers around that song.
I've always been lonely in life. I don't know if it is because of some event that happened while I was young, but as far back as I can remember I have had this innate desire to be loved by other people. I needed attention, but not just attention, I needed people who I could turn to on a regular basis for emotional support. I spent a lot of my childhood trying to impress my parents, trying to be popular at school and have friends, even trying to be around my brother and sister, because I was lonely.
I hate being alone.
Yet all of my life I have felt very much alone. I have had to do everything on my own, I've been left on my own so often, and I have felt, at times, as though no one out there cared for me. I went through a part of my life where I was very much my only friend, or at least I was the only one who paid any attention to me. And this loneliness has molded and shaped me.
I pursued various things and learned many things simply because no one was listening to me, no one was watching me, no one was doing anything with me really. I just existed and I hit a point where I contemplated suicide, but faced with death in that sense, I decided I needed to change my life around somehow, and that's what started my learning process.
The problem was that while I was going through that stage of life, I stopped caring about other people. I gave up a great part of my own humanity it seemed. I stopped feeling emotions because I was hurt so bad--and it wasn't just a one time hurt, it was years compounding together of me being the youngest son who was never good enough, whose friends turned their backs on me, whose own brothers and sisters were always fighting with me and who just didn't fit in the world anywhere.
In one sense I died back then.
No one who knew me back then would know me now. My personality is very different. I have confidence now, I have self esteem and self worth, and yet, I still face the same problems that I have always faced: I strive for attention and I have a strong desire to be loved.
I have experimented with various things in an attempt to fulfill those two great needs of mine, but for the past few years I have had a hard time feeling them.
So with that in mind, when I say that I have a conflict with the line: "life is short, fall in love maidens [and young men]", it is because my whole life I have tried to be loved and yet, as Eminem says "[I] get no love".
I have had very many successes, I've developed a good character, I've mastered a lot of admirable traits, and I've gained a vision of what I would like to become. Yet every day I wake up and I'm all alone. Nothing I do with my own hands warrants love and attention. I have more enemies than I have friends, and then I realize that the only thing that gets me through the day is that I have hope for the future--a hope that fades with each day.
I feel as though I have gone beyond what that song says. I feel as though I'm too old to experience love the way I would like because I'm too serious now and I don't get excited very easily. ad hock: I'm out there trying to teach people skills they need to just fall in love while they're young and save themselves the problems i have faced.
I very much feel like an expensive violin that has a flaw in it and no one wants to take it or can afford it. I'm just waiting for someone to come along who realizes my worth who can fix me up and turn me into one of the best violins on the market.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
It's only natural to be lazy--but does that mean it's right?
I didn't know what I would feel like writing today so I figure I'll write a simple post on how some days you get persuaded by yourself to be lazy or unmotivated or "busy"--but the only real argument to those feelings is to just push forward, be consistent and keep working.
I want to write on here at least once a day with something related to my theme of how persuasion works and how it is related to what we know as truth, but sometimes I just can't get worked up enough to write something incredibly meaningful.--it's only natural I suppose (the "natural" argument), it happens to everyone at least so I assume it's just a part of life that we will always have to deal with.
However, I've grown to the understanding that just because it's natural to be lazy doesn't mean that it's right--some natural things are that way and we've gotta go against them in order to survive or reach our goals and dreams.
I want to write on here at least once a day with something related to my theme of how persuasion works and how it is related to what we know as truth, but sometimes I just can't get worked up enough to write something incredibly meaningful.--it's only natural I suppose (the "natural" argument), it happens to everyone at least so I assume it's just a part of life that we will always have to deal with.
However, I've grown to the understanding that just because it's natural to be lazy doesn't mean that it's right--some natural things are that way and we've gotta go against them in order to survive or reach our goals and dreams.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Making Money
I read a lot of magazines and e-mags related to business and jobs and the economy. --It's part of what I do to keep on top of the current market trends and ways I can improve my own business strategies. Of course I'm always trying to get better so it's only natural for me to be studying up on it.
In any case, today I wanted to write about making money in general. Whatever it is you do, it's going to be really hard, either in level of difficulty or amount of demand. The people who have easy jobs are the ones who don't get paid very much and don't have to really get that involved.
I have always had a hard time becoming one of those people--Where I have lived has been one of the big reasons why, but I think another big reason I have such a hard time getting one of those "easy" jobs is because I have a hard time expressing to other people why it is better to hire me, who has had a lot of experiences in life and can easily associate with people. I suppose my biggest problem is really that my experiences in life have been short anecdotes that I forget what happened or how they happened but I remember the lessons I learned.
Well, with making money, I've learned quite a few things, but the more I learn, the more I realize that there is no one way of making money. What I mean is that everyone seems to have one specific thing that they think is the key to making their business successful: knowing the customer, listening, customer support, offering them what they need, lowering prices, raising prices, good management, a clear vision, etc. etc. Really though I'm learning that it is ALL important. Especially with the current trends in society and in the markets, if your business can't do all of them exceptionally well they won't do any of them well.
In any case, today I wanted to write about making money in general. Whatever it is you do, it's going to be really hard, either in level of difficulty or amount of demand. The people who have easy jobs are the ones who don't get paid very much and don't have to really get that involved.
I have always had a hard time becoming one of those people--Where I have lived has been one of the big reasons why, but I think another big reason I have such a hard time getting one of those "easy" jobs is because I have a hard time expressing to other people why it is better to hire me, who has had a lot of experiences in life and can easily associate with people. I suppose my biggest problem is really that my experiences in life have been short anecdotes that I forget what happened or how they happened but I remember the lessons I learned.
Well, with making money, I've learned quite a few things, but the more I learn, the more I realize that there is no one way of making money. What I mean is that everyone seems to have one specific thing that they think is the key to making their business successful: knowing the customer, listening, customer support, offering them what they need, lowering prices, raising prices, good management, a clear vision, etc. etc. Really though I'm learning that it is ALL important. Especially with the current trends in society and in the markets, if your business can't do all of them exceptionally well they won't do any of them well.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Do humans have hearts, or do they just say that?
Last night I returned home to discover that my apartment's parking lot was crammed full of cars, most of them were parked blocking the pathways in, out and around the parking lot.
I drove down as far as I could, even down to the dumpster and there were absolutely no places to park unless I wanted to park dead center in the lot so that NO ONE could get out. Knowing that the manager just sent out a leaflet about how they would be booting illegal cars for the rest of the semester, I decided that would be a bad idea.
At that point I made a judgement call and decided that since it wasn't snowing, it would be alright if I parked on the street.just this once.
Well don't you know but about fifteen minutes later the ticket man came and hit my car with a bright yellow ticket!
I found out in the morning as i walked to school.
I intend to see if the appeal committee has any heart and won't wave the fine for me just this once.we'll see what happens, wish me luck!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
How I would fix the world to make it better
I'll be the first one to admit that I get jealous all of the time--not like in a covetous way where I wish I had certain materials that others have, but more like I get jealous of people who get attention and love.
Sure, I get plenty of attention and I am loved by quite a number of people, but sometimes I forget about that and feel as though I'm really just not that important to anyone. --And as far as love goes...well, let's just say I really only care about whether a few certain key individuals love me, and at times it's hard to really tell.
There is one way of fixing the world that sticks out to me more prominently than all others--that is, if the world really needs "fixing" because I'm actually quite fond of my world.
Not long ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine about what she would say if she had 10min to stand before the world and give a speech. It was one of those hypothetical questions that you ask when you're bored and want to determine what the other person is thinking about at that moment. When she asked the same question back to me I already had an answer: I would give the best speech I could possibly give on showing your love more and not being afraid to open up to people you don't know.
It seems to me that most of the problems you hear about in the world could easily be prevented if we cared a little more about other people. My experience is that most people don't really care so much that they aren't getting what they want from, but they do care that other people don't understand them and no one is trying to help them get what they want. This sounds like it's contradictory to what I said yesterday, but really it isn't: we're all working on our own lives, but that doesn't mean we can't try to assist other people's lives as long as we aren't bringing them down.
All of those robbers out there and the rapists and the jerks that are in such a rush to get to where they're going they'll cut you off to get there--they'll all could use a little more love in their life and some attention. Speaking from experience, the times I did some of the most rude things I have ever done have been when I really could have just used someone telling me they loved me and cared about me.
I have a friend, T, he was hit by a car when he was little and it messed him up pretty bad. I didn't get to know him until I was in high school and he took a little getting used to--I think it was the car that did it, because once you get past his speech problems and his desperate cry for attention, he's actually one of the nicest people you'll ever know...if you have hard enough skin to withstand the pokes he gives (literally, he went through a phase where every time he saw me he'd ram his finger into me and yell "poke!"--I'm sure it was great fun, but it got a little annoying.) He's since calmed down a bit and I rank him pretty high on my friends list.
Every so often he sends me messages or he'll talk to me at church--It really shows that he cares about people because he's doing really simple things that make a big difference.
I suppose my 10 minutes is up now, so I better get off so that someone more important can share their message with the world
Sure, I get plenty of attention and I am loved by quite a number of people, but sometimes I forget about that and feel as though I'm really just not that important to anyone. --And as far as love goes...well, let's just say I really only care about whether a few certain key individuals love me, and at times it's hard to really tell.
There is one way of fixing the world that sticks out to me more prominently than all others--that is, if the world really needs "fixing" because I'm actually quite fond of my world.
Not long ago I had a conversation with a friend of mine about what she would say if she had 10min to stand before the world and give a speech. It was one of those hypothetical questions that you ask when you're bored and want to determine what the other person is thinking about at that moment. When she asked the same question back to me I already had an answer: I would give the best speech I could possibly give on showing your love more and not being afraid to open up to people you don't know.
It seems to me that most of the problems you hear about in the world could easily be prevented if we cared a little more about other people. My experience is that most people don't really care so much that they aren't getting what they want from, but they do care that other people don't understand them and no one is trying to help them get what they want. This sounds like it's contradictory to what I said yesterday, but really it isn't: we're all working on our own lives, but that doesn't mean we can't try to assist other people's lives as long as we aren't bringing them down.
All of those robbers out there and the rapists and the jerks that are in such a rush to get to where they're going they'll cut you off to get there--they'll all could use a little more love in their life and some attention. Speaking from experience, the times I did some of the most rude things I have ever done have been when I really could have just used someone telling me they loved me and cared about me.
I have a friend, T, he was hit by a car when he was little and it messed him up pretty bad. I didn't get to know him until I was in high school and he took a little getting used to--I think it was the car that did it, because once you get past his speech problems and his desperate cry for attention, he's actually one of the nicest people you'll ever know...if you have hard enough skin to withstand the pokes he gives (literally, he went through a phase where every time he saw me he'd ram his finger into me and yell "poke!"--I'm sure it was great fun, but it got a little annoying.) He's since calmed down a bit and I rank him pretty high on my friends list.
Every so often he sends me messages or he'll talk to me at church--It really shows that he cares about people because he's doing really simple things that make a big difference.
I suppose my 10 minutes is up now, so I better get off so that someone more important can share their message with the world
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
It's not a competition
For whatever reason I've been blessed with a lot of things. And I enjoy the things I've been given. In fact, you might could say I walk around with my head held high, in good posture, and confident-like all because my life is going pretty good.
But also for whatever reason, there is always that one person in any collection of people who thinks they've gotta compete with everyone.--I forget what it's called but I believe there is a specific complex (little man syndrome?)
In any case, without fail there hasn't been any moment in my life where I haven't had one of these pesky kids who can't stand that I'm always doing things with my life and they want to either bring me down for them or brag about something they are doing that they think is equally as important or cool.--Look, I really don't care about what you're doing. If you want to compete do it on your own time because I'm more concerned about getting my projects done so I have time to relax, and don't bother me while I'm relaxing because no one wants to be annoyed by a little fish in a small pond.
Truth of the day? Life isn't a competition. We're all trying to do our own things and make it through this test we call life. It's an individual thing, living is...no one else can do it for you, and you really don't have to compare yourself to other people ever as long as you have a purpose to your life and you're reaching to goals that you are setting for yourself.
But also for whatever reason, there is always that one person in any collection of people who thinks they've gotta compete with everyone.--I forget what it's called but I believe there is a specific complex (little man syndrome?)
In any case, without fail there hasn't been any moment in my life where I haven't had one of these pesky kids who can't stand that I'm always doing things with my life and they want to either bring me down for them or brag about something they are doing that they think is equally as important or cool.--Look, I really don't care about what you're doing. If you want to compete do it on your own time because I'm more concerned about getting my projects done so I have time to relax, and don't bother me while I'm relaxing because no one wants to be annoyed by a little fish in a small pond.
Truth of the day? Life isn't a competition. We're all trying to do our own things and make it through this test we call life. It's an individual thing, living is...no one else can do it for you, and you really don't have to compare yourself to other people ever as long as you have a purpose to your life and you're reaching to goals that you are setting for yourself.
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