What makes a Man?

I've never really had an interest in this topic until recently, upon reading a few interesting articles and watching some videos here and there on the subject. I posted one article, and my comment to that article on my other blog, 3blindbarren The article is by a guy whose pseudonym is Dr Nerdlove (a harp back to dr. strangelove I assume?)

Basically, I think that Dr Nerdlove did a good job of explaining why this is an interesting topic:
Men of previous generations (pre 1960s) were different than our definition of men now. Post 1960, men, as a whole, have become more effeminate and things that we once thought of as "manly" have been put under threat. Men are no longer the sole breadwinner, they are expected to be assertive and aggressive but not so assertive that they are offensive--this seems to remove dominance from the list of traits that make up a man. --read Nerdlove's article for a good recap of these things.

What Nerdlove's article does is narrow down the argument to two concepts, an either or statement: Men are different, but similar, from women (which I call the segregation argument), or men are equal to women in all ways except their sex--that gender is made up and all humans are humans (which I call the equality argument).


---Ok, I wrote the intro 3 paragraphs a few weeks ago but never finished/posted this article... [Sept 3]

I think I prescribe to the equality argument when it boils down to it. Men and women, these days, are or should be equal in every way to men: in a capitalist system and in a socialist system, men and women ought to be paid the same amount based on skill level. They should be required to work and earn a living for themselves, which...right now I believe the minimum requirement is somewhere around $16K/year. Men and women should be accepted into public offices and organizations based on skill. Men and women should do equal share of housework. Etc. etc.


--More... [Oct 6]

Culturally, I thought I knew what everyone thought about gender: what is a man and what is a woman? But when I thought about it more, I realized I only knew what people said in the moment and that there are a few discrepancies that people don't realize. Like: not all men are macho--a macho man is confident--confident men hold themselves a certain way, they "cool" and calm...but...macho men also have tempers--when they're mad they'll "growl" the way a dog growls to scare away enemies. No.... Not all men are like that. Look in the movies (Because movies are good reference points for stereotyped/not-real-but-not-unreal characters), there are several "Men" played by Brad Pitt or George Clooney, Matt Damon or Will Smith, who don't "growl" who aren't over-buff, who might be a little nerdy, who aren't 100% confident, so on and so forth.
So thinking about that, I realize there are two parts to this:

P1 "What Makes a Man?" --From the cultural perspective; or better put: what universal traits would everyone agree on make up a man?
&&
P2. "What Makes up a Man?" --From a universal truth perspective of how it OUGHT to be in an ideal world of peace equality happiness and so forth.

--I watched a speech by Emma Watson who talked about, I think, the P2 What makes up a man.  (she professes to be a traditional feminist, if you're wondering)
And she sounds like she could be a prominent figurehead for the feminist movement into the future...

But I feel like someone needs to tell her (and everyone else) that before we can get from here to there, we need to start with P1--we need to figure out what people presently believe, and then when we find the common ground that everyone agrees on, we can then present an argument to them to get them to agree on what the P2 universal truth of what men OUGHT to be.



I spoke to a good friend about this topic briefly and something he said made me really REALLY dive into this.

He said: "A Man takes care of his own."

I've investigated this statement and think it's true: a man takes care of himself, his possessions, his reponsibilites, his family, etc etc.

That got me thinking. What makes a woman though? because don't women do the same and doesn't society do the same? --And I don't think so.
Soceity expects women to take care of themselves and their kids, sure, but women aren't all held up to the standard that the way men are. They aren't as pressured to go out and find a job--there aren't as many stigmas attached to women without jobs as there is with men without jobs--among other things.



[continue:1/1/2015]

I don't know what I have said above--I'm not even going to read it, I just want to post this article.

Society as of 1/1/2015 believes that Men are: "Bearded, Tough, Working a Hard Job, at times Cutthroat, Emotionally Distant, Domineering, Muscular, and Physically Attractive." If you don't fit that as a male, part of society will always consider you a boy.
However, in my experience, if you fit that, all the "boys" will hate you and all the "men" will want to get rid of you.

Society as of 1/1/205 believes that Women are: "Curvy-thin, Clad in Makeup, Working hard to look good, Always Cutthroat, Emotionally Sensitive, Dominant, Fit, and Physically Attractive" and if you don't fit that as a female then part of society will never consider you a real woman.


But all of this is preposterous, and superficial. These are all surface attributes that don't target the real deal.

Now, I don't agree with this 100%, but a better way for society to express their differences between men and women would be to make the following statement:
"Men take care of their own. Women are taken care of." --Because it highlights that really, all these superficial traits indicate that men are supposed to take care of everything--run the world, politics, conquest, take care of their body, take care of their possessions, etc. and that women are some form of possession--that they should be owned by a man, that they should be the best possession--become the most valuable gem that he keeps in his treasure chest.
Interestingly, it also reflects a deep-rooted truth about society: that they are solely focused on DragonLust--Gather up the riches of the world into your stronghold and defend it against everyone. Become the greatest so that you can add that title to your storeroom. Amass everything there is, wealth, beauty, knowledge, fame, respect, power, etc etc. And to what end?