I've been dating for 11 years straight, had many many girlfriends, been engaged 3 times, dated a lot more than that.--I think all of that qualifies me to say I'm an expert at dating, unlike those who get married and take a break for a few years.
Ok, enough crap.
Dating in Utah is a little different from any other state, though it might be comparable to dating in certain "christian" cities across the U.S. but let me tell you, if you aren't Mormon here (or christian, there) it's a very weird place to be.
For starters, Utah isn't even 51% Mormon, but the culture effects everything. Girls are taught that they should get married and have kids. When they get older, they make a conscious decision to either go with what they were taught and try to get married and have kids; or they rebel against the notion and say they don't want to get married or they don't want to have kids. --I've been around the block and 95% of people fall into one of these categories. The alternative is to really think hard about the decision and choose to either not have kids out of some other reason such as health reasons or the reality that they wouldn't make a good mother or that it would interfere with a career--or vise versa, to have kids for multiple reasons unrelated to what they were taught in life.--That's only about 5% of people. I'm not generalizing, this is true. Talk to someone long enough and you'll decide that they have no real reason for not wanting kids, or wanting kids just because they were told to.
This concept of marriage and children plays into the Utah dating pool differently than it does elsewhere in the world. Elsewhere, girls want to have a boyfriend for the sake of saying they have a boyfriend, but here they want to have a boyfriend for the sake of getting married.
Sadly, the ones who dont' want marriage or children either refuse to date or they only want a boyfriend to have "a little fun," get free things, and be taken care of.
Furthermore, there is a lot of fantasy that plays into the Utah dating world. Girls think some form of Disney prince is going to sweep them off their feet, and the young boys who catch onto this act the part--if only temporarily, because you can only act for so long. --and This is seriously twisted. There is an expectation that you be something that you are not to impress a girl who is only using you for a meal ticket or a marriage license or a father for their children. And unfortunately, after everything is said and done, they don't exactly care that you aren't being yourself.
Remember when I said how people like pain?--I guess I didn't write a post about it, but I've been saying it for over a year now and will have to write an article on it. These girls get married have a kid and then when things calm down enough they look at their husband and realize he's not the knight in Disney shining armor that they thought he was, because at that point he is tired of acting or he slips up a few times. Naturally, the marriage falls apart.
Next, there are a lot of divorced single moms in Utah. In other states there are a lot of teenage moms who didn't ever get married, and those are different, and yes we have those here too. These single moms obsess over their children. Their children are their life; if only because that's what the culture here expects. You rarely hear about people here giving up their child for adoption, or the mother letting the father take primary custody like you might in other states. But the real weird thing about these single moms is that they still troll the dating world, and they still act the same way that they did for their first husband: they want a prince charming or someone who will act for them.
It seems like a good follow-up recipe for disaster.
Being a Greek Atheist, I'm classified with the Satanists--Hell, I adhere to a few of their principles. Meaning, I think about everything I believe and I be the person I think I am and want to be. And therein lies a problem with the dating world: No matter how much I make the feel important or feel wanted, it doesn't matter because I'm not who they want--I'm not a Disney prince charming. I don't want to get married, but I do want kids.
Quid Pro Quo, I chase after less than 5% of the Utah population: the ones who don't want marriage, but want more than just a little fun and possibly want to have kids. Probably it's 1 in 1:1,000,000 that would be comfortable with my personality and lifestyle, and there aren't even 3 million people in Utah.
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