I have a warped sense of Friendship

This article was prompted by a conversation I had with Courtney, but I'm going to stray from using the traditional dialectic format.

I was attempting to tell her how difficult it is to have fans and stalkers and how my personality is the type that wants to be nice to everyone and have no enemies. I told her that I have tried two methods to deter these people from bothering me: 1) Telling them off in some form; 2) ignoring them. I think both responses fall under Competition/Aggression vs Avoidance, but I don't need to take this article in that direction.
At one point in our conversation, I made a realization about all of these people. A few of them actually:

First, I realized that I have an agenda with each of them, and that agenda is that I want to be friends with them.

Second--and this is where it gets complicated--I think they all want to assimilate me.
I think they want me to share an emotional bond with them as strong as the emotional attachment that they have with me. And somehow, (if you've read my other articles) that we'll experience the exact same things and be completely on the same page and unified. They want me to be on the same level that they are and when they are giving, they want me to be giving, then when they are passionate, they want me to be passionate, or playful or angry. They want me to be so firmly connected to them that I'm a continuation of them as a person, and that's no good. It's not good for me. It's unrealistic.

This theory explains a lot... my previous ex's were attached to me because I really was emotionally tight in that way with them, but then they fell apart when I strayed because I am my own person.
Every date I've been on in the last two years has gone the same way: if I wasn't emotionally mimicking them, they wouldn't be interested, but if I matched their emotions and parroted back to them, they would want to come back for more. All of my "fans" or stalkers or whatever you want to call them seem to be holding out for hope that one day I'll suddenly become just like them and emotionally connect to them and never let them go, but to me that's a little nauseating.

I like people for being themselves and being respectful of me. I like to connect emotionally with people, but I don't expect it and don't hold out for it, and don't pine for it. I want to share experiences with people, but I want them to form their own opinions and emotions of those experiences-- let me repeat: I do not want them to mimic my emotional responses to experiences that we share. I want them to form their own emotions and opinions. --I don't know what I have said in the past; it's been a while since I re-read what I have written, but connecting on that level is not the raison d'etre.

The raison d'etre for any relationship is to share the same moment of time, both feel positive emotions regarding it, and then both communicate about what they are feeling.
It is watching a moonrise together and person A sharing a story about how their father used to take them star gazing and how it felt so peaceful and safe, and person B sharing their emotions about how they are so glad to be around person A and how they make them happy.
--Notice: Both people shared different things in this hyp-examp. One was emotionally nostalgic, building neural pathways between the association of person B and their father. Person B was feeling emotionally grateful, happy and content that person A was in their life.

I would love to be EITHER A or B.

That's where I think I have a warped sense of friendship.
I don't care about WHAT emotions are expressed as long as they are positive.
I also don't care what the experience is, so long as it can be talked about positively and communicated positively.

Those seem to be the ideal ingredients: positive emotions, and communication. Though, the communication is more of a catalyst. The positive emotions are necessary for sure, but sometimes you don't need to communicate to trigger the reaction.
At least... this is what I've found anyway.