I'm not sure where to classify this: is it When 1 Falls worthy, or Compliments 2 Living, or is it 3 Blind Barren? --It's not about the positive side of life and it's not necessarily about something secret, so I resorted to this blog because it MIGHT relate to human science.
I re-read some of my older life coaching articles on my datingzion blog, and I remember now why I wanted to redo my life coaching site...The blog was geared towards mormons and finding an "eternal companion" and sometimes I would echo what mormon church leaders would say in the matter (which is surprisingly very little) and sometimes I would just feed people what they wanted to hear.
Unfortunately, I have enough moral capacity to say that it was wrong what I did. I tried to stick to things that didn't mess people up, like "you've got to have a list of things you want in an 'eternal companion'" and "don't settle until you find that"--there isn't anything wrong with that philosophy, per say, it's just not always realistic. Suffice it to say, one reason for my remake of my lifecoaching, RDC coaching, is to clarify things.
Also, because I was focusing on the LDS crowd, I think I neglected the larger world--and not only that, I realize that I wasn't the greatest at addressing the LDS crowd and as such I offended a few people. Here is how: When I would write something like "...The problem with this is that it can lead you into thinking that you NEED to build excitement in your relationship or else you won’t be happy with one another.--But you don't NEED excitement in a relationship as long as you care for one another" --I would get responses from people saying things like: "ya, but the prophet said you should have an exciting weekend together once a week and have consecrated friday nights for that purpose" and they would rail on me for suggesting such a thing contrary to their prophet. So not only did I neglect the larger world, but I offended some of my primary audience as well.
Oddly, the big market for my material ended up overseas. People from Britain and India read and emailed me questions or comments--which I found odd, but didn't care. I'm not sure how to address that tidbit really other than that it is what it is.
Lastly, under my previous life coaching attempt I was interested in money. I had a service to provide to people, I needed/wanted more money, I was willing to trade my services for money. Plain and simple business. I care much less about money these days--now that I'm financially secure; so when approaching my new blog, I thought: "Dammit all, why not give out everything for free?" --I purposefully withheld things thinking I would only use them in personal coaching sessions, and it caused me to tiptoe around important issues.
This is what happened: 1) I told people things to gratify their own minds because they couldn't handle the truth about relationships. 2) I offended people trying to appease them and 'bowling in the same league as their religion' 3) I cared about money and...that just turned people off. 4) I purposely withheld things in an attempt to "safeguard my business" (you understand...it's business).
Now, I don't even care.
But what I do care about is improving and educating the world (--something to do with: when you get financially secure and everything lines up in your life, then the next drive you have is to do things bigger than yourself and make an impact on the world--well, I'm there now).
I think it is more important to me to teach people how to have good relationships because I think that that will improve the world faster, more efficiently, and better than anything else I could do. There's no product I could make (I sell solar kits for similar reasons and if I could find a way to give them away for free I would) that would improve the world and inspire people the way that educating people about how to have good relationships can.
The problem I have seen, in the world, is that people really don't know how to have good relationships and there is no formal education process for teaching it. You either get it, your parents teach you by example and you learn things as you make mistakes, or...you don't and those who don't never really do learn because of the nature of human beings: if the time and complexity of a problem/task is too great for the individual, they don't see what they need to learn to prevent that problem and therefore don't change.
Humans are like dogs in this regard: dogs have a hard time learning things like potty training or not to chew up the house when you are gone, because the time and complexity of their actions are too great to make the correlation. Typically when you come home and find that they've chewed on the couch or ripped stuffing all over, they did that act 3 hrs ago and when you come home they're excited to see you and you punish them for ripping the stuffing out--their minds aren't as complex as a human mind so they only see: master came home and punished me for something--he must have had a bad day because I luvs him and want to give him kisses right now but if he doesn't want them...ok looks like I'm going into my crate I guess I'll just have some alone time and calm down and then he'll let me out and I can love him again :).
When you have a problem with your relationships, the time and complexity is such a high level that you see the evidence: stuffing all over, master at the door, and your action at the time, and you make the wrong inference and so you never really change. --this is what I'm talking about right now on my RDC coaching site in podcasts about "Relationship Cycles"
People don't change because they aren't smart enough or that connection between what they are doing-- and what the problem is, is too complex. You can't blame them for that but they just don't naturally see it. So I've made it my mission--my part-time life coaching mission--to educate people so that they are more aware of the problems facing them, so that they are more conscientious of these issues and more capable of seeing them when they happen (I don't put much trust in this mind you, which is why I'm willing to do life coaching sessions, but I don't see that as a reason not to give people a chance to understand).
My life is pretty great, says I. I'm not perfect, but I'm smarter than the average bear (and might I add that I look better than the average bear too :D ) and I've put a lot of thought into what I think matters and came to the conclusion that relationships do--they matter most. And if you want to have a good life you'll have high quantity and high quality relationships. So focus on having those, no?
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