We all Live a Life of Fantasy

I'm going to transcribe (paraphrasing) a conversation I had with a friend (who I'm going to call Courtney to spare her name) the other day. 

Kyle: I'm kind of fed up with how people can't be upfront and real with me.

Courtney: What do you mean?

K: I dunno, I think I just have too many people in my life that expect a lot out of me without really doing anything for me in return

C: ...I didn't want to tell you this, but I've noticed that you're too helpful--

K: --My other friend M said that. 

C: Ya, and don't you think M takes advantage of you?

K: No...not really.

C: He does.

K: How?

C: It just seems that everything you do with him is his idea--like he needs someone to do things with and because you're available he calls on you because you're down for anything.

K: ... Fine, you got me there. So what should I do then?

C:  Well does that bother you--that he uses you because you're available?

K: Not usually...because I am "available."

C: Then don't do anything--nothing wrong.

K: Ok--I see that you just change the subject to make me quit complaining. 

C: Excuse me?

K: I said I was fed up with people not being upfront or real and somehow we started talking about being taken advantage of unknowingly.

C: haha, You started into this. I was just pointing out an observation.

K: Ok, but what do you have to say about what I said?

C: About?

K: That people aren't upfront?

C: I think you're right, but there's nothing that can be done about it.

K: But WHY? --Why can't people be upfront? --I do! I'm not afraid to tell people things about myself or whether I want to go along with them or not.

C: Do you?

K: I think so?

C: What about that time I invited you to go to Zeppes and you went along but you really didn't want to and you acted like a butt the whole time. Then when we left you told me that you just didn't feel comfortable.

K: ... Eh... OK... So I do it too.--but that's not really what I was referring to. --I'm sorry.

C: It's fine. We're friends.

K: --See THAT is what I'm talking about.

C: What?

K: That even though I was being an asshole you were still my friend.

C: Haha, that's because you manipulated me.

K: How do you mean?

C: You're always manipulating me. Everything you say you try to get me closer to you. 

K: You don't like it?

C: No, I like it, haha, but I'm just saying that you have a way to making people get close to you. We have pretty deep conversations sometimes and I tell you a lot of my secrets because I trust you--and it's like I can totally tell that you listen to me and understand me.

K: Thanks.

C: I'm serious...not many people are like you--when I told you that you're "too helpful," that's what I meant--so I wasn't really leading you off-topic. You are just a benefit to everyone because you know how to have a real conversation with people and make them feel valued. 

K: Then why do people leave me...so suddenly. 

C: I really can't explain that--I think people just panic sometimes. 

K: But why? What am I doing to make people panic?

C: It's kinda hard being around you Kyle.

K: Why?

C: Because you've got your life figured out. You "have your shit together," as they say.--I'm really impressed by you.--And worst of all, you're real. Other people your age are so concerned with being seen as "cool" or that they're the hottest thing next to white bread--but they really aren't. 

K: Ok, I see where you're going...

C: Ya, it's nerve racking really because you're so hot all the time and you're nice and you're available and you're stable, and what am I? <conversation removed to protect identity>

K: Well fuck my life! What am I supposed to do about this? Be like everyone else? Be like everyone I don't want to be like? Be anything other than myself?--I'm just being myself!

C: Just keep being you, please. Knowing you, I know I like real people better than fake ones. 

K: ..Sorry, I'm just really frustrated right now.

C: I can tell. 

K: I think sometimes I live a life of fantasy--sometimes I think people are like me and it makes me upset when they aren't the way I think they should be.

C: You can't be too critical of people.

K: I know.--I just see the way people can be because I'm that way and it's not hard for me and I think the world would be better if people were that way.

C: We all dream, hon. Dreaming isn't bad, in fact, I think it's good most of the time--all the time, really. The bad part is when you start to apply your dreams to reality and people don't want that.

K: People don't want my dreams.

C: Ok...Cynical.

K: --No, really what were you referring to?

C: ...Well, you put me in a difficult position.

K: How so?

C: If I tell you that you should keep your dreams to yourself, then I have to be the girl that trashes people's dreams; but if I say never give up your dreams, then I give you liberty to force your dreams on people who don't want them.

K: Don't answer that. We'll have to think about it first. 

C: --I don't want to think about it. Part of me wants to say to never give up on your dreams and to let yourself be taken away by the little fantasies that you make up in your head, because it makes life exciting, but I don't know that you can always live in a fantasy.

K: What does the other part of you want to say?

C: It wants to say that you shouldn't crush people's dreams because it can ruin good people.

K: I agree with that. Maybe that's why I'm so ruined.

C: Oh stop, you're not ruined. Look at your life.

K: Ya. I've got everything. Woop -D-doo!--I don't have what I want

C: That's because you want what you can't have.

K: Why can't I have it?

C: Because you think too much.

K: What do you propose I do instead?

C: Don't think. Just feel.

K: I do that too. 

C: oK, you feel too much too!--My head hurts. You make life an enigma because you think too much and need to feel more and then you feel too much and need to think more. I don't know what to say you are.

K: --but whatever it is, don't do it!

C: --Right!

C: I think I want to answer the question now.

K: Okay.

C: I think we should live our dreams--I think you live in dreamland too and that's your problem.--you want things to be perfect like they are in your fantasies.--Don't worry, I get you, so I don't think there is really a problem with it. I think you want people to be nice to you because you're nice to them and I think they want you to be nice to them because they feel entitled to it. I think you can apply this to pretty much everything, Kyle. You care about equality--too much about it really. You want to be equals with people who are your inferior and so it never works out--it would be different if you wanted to be equals with people who were better than you, but you don't. You keep hanging around people like me who live paycheck to paycheck, and for people like me, it's ok, but people who are conscious of living paycheck to paycheck it's bad because to them they think they have to compete and be somebody they aren't and pretend they're on the same level as you are. --I think people would trade anything to be in your situation--

K:--but they dont, otherwise they WOULD be where I am.

C: True. Maybe people think they would trade anything to have their fantasies fulfilled, but only you have been dedicated enough to do it so far. 

K: I think it depends on what dreams you're referring to.

C: I think you haven't had time to fulfill those dreams.--you took care of the other dreams.

K: Fair enough. So you're saying I should take care of my other dreams now.

C: The world is yours, friend, you just have to fantasize about it for a little bit and I'm sure you'll make it happen.

Thank you for nothing. Time to Adapt.

I'm a fan of flying by the seat of your pants--if you know what you're doing--but Americans have really messed up the last couple of generations. First and foremost, people are taught that monogamous, heterosexual, marriage is the only respectable relationship option in society. Second, we've distorted reality to the point that people think that all of their fantasy dreams are going to happen. Third, we tell people what to think and do, more than we let people think for themselves because we're afraid of what would happen if people thought for themselves.
The debate is out, and society is changing to be more accepting of the LGBT community, but I don't think we should end there (when it does get there). There is no word in the English language that is an antenym for Monogomy:

Antonyms for monogamy

• badness
• corruption

• disgrace
• dishonesty

• dishonor
• evil

• immorality
• wildness

• dirtiness
• fornication

Why is that? And why are there still laws in society against anything other than monogamy (most are not enforced...until a divorce begins)?
Statistically, more Single Mothers are in the bottom tier of society as far as the economy is concerned, and maybe even if you compared on some scale of stress you might find them on the bottom tier as well. But why? Single dad's aren't found down there?
I hope that question worked to lead you into what I'm going to say next: If your initial answer that question was "well, because single fathers don't have to take care of the kids"--Okay...why? Why don't more single dad's have primary responsibility to take care of the kids?--If you follow cultural trends, you'll realize that this is rapidly changing: more single dads ARE taking care of kids as primary caregiver. Are these single dads found in the bottom tier? --not as far as any statisticians are concerned.
Why do our tax systems support marriage? It is more costly to live alone than to have two working adults living together. And even if one of them isn't working, that person still boosts the household gross production by taking care of the home. There is only so much one person can do alone, but together we are powerful. Why does the U.S. give tax breaks to married couples? Does having a polygamous relationship make you more disobedient to the laws (aside from the anti-polygamy laws)? What about a poly-amorous relationship? Do these relationships make you less of a contributor to society?
We raise our kids to believe that if they don't want to, or don't ever, marry there is something wrong with them. That somehow everyone is expected to pair off, have kids, and then give their wealth to their kids.

Another thing we do is teach kids that they can do whatever they want with their life and be whatever they want to be. --That's cool, don't get me wrong, it's good to dream, but it's also good to be realistic and teach kids to be realistic. Years ago, the whole world operated on the order of apprenticeships, then we realized that the world was a lot bigger than we thought and so we started believing in the dream that you could be whatever you wanted to be. We started training people to be generic so that they could fit into many different positions--but we didn't change our beliefs. Our training is geared to teaching kids to be skilled in many ways and not necessarily specialized. Specialization comes when you're older...which...is probably closer to 45-65 than 35-45 as it was a few generations ago. And with the life expectancy rising...that may mean that that age will only continue to rise as people work more and more years.
The point is, mankind is maxing out on some of its resources. --That's not to say that they can't be replenished, or that we aren't sitting out proverbial oil fields in our backyards--it means that we can't sustain our rate of consumption until further breakthroughs are made. What is the job market like right now? What are the prices of oil doing? Where are the polar ice caps? --These are signs that we're starting to breach that point--or perhaps we've already breached it?
We have too many people living in too tight of spaces. We have run out of land to give away for free, which, up until the end of American Imperialism, Land was the real source of power for America--it attracted people which were the driving force of the world. Now, immigration is centered more around where the wealth is than it is about where the land is--and where does their money go? Back to their home countries to where they have an investment in land. But this isn't sustainable! --We have people living 10 people in a 2 bedroom home because they can't afford or don't want to pay for living expenses in their work country.--not legally anyway.
When you have kids, you need to be responsible for creating space for them in this world. Your kids are going to make an impact on the world after you're gone--every one that you bring into the world someone else has to exit the world. One day you will die and the person you mate with will too, but how many more people can you count on to die to leave room for your additional kids?

Lastly, Why do we tell people what to do, what do think? Why don't we teach people to ask questions and think for themselves? Our public education teaches people what is universally true, rather than how to think for themselves. Several important fields have been removed from our schools, such as mandatory courses on Rhetoric and Philosophy and instead we teach people how to optionally "debate." We keep telling people that one day some genius is going to come along and invent something new to save us all, but doesn't it seem that only an outlier, a maverick, could be that genius? Those people are rare. No one teaches you the skills to think outside of the box and we're slowly losing those individuals.
Our schools, our religions, our cultures--they create sheep, they breed followers. And sheep can't protect themselves from wolves, from mavericks. We are setting kids up to submit to ANYONE who can come along and solve our problems rather than setting our kids up to solve problems for themselves. We don't need sheep, we need men and women. Real men and women. Who are open to whatever life throws at them, who are confident and comfortable to stand up and voice their opinion and recognize that it is only an opinion and subject to change the moment something better comes along.

So thank you.

Thank you for nothing.

Because we have nothing left to lose.

Those of us who want to change and improve.
We have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
So to those who believe in the powers that be,
We who are different will surpass you some day,
and you'll lose everything,
because you've gambled everything on your fantasy life:
one where you believe only certain ways of life are respectable
where you preach the ideal and never mention the realistic
Where you keep repeating the same old patterns and never adapt to the new world.

This is survival of the fittest