Feeling emotional today so...This!

Sudden shifts in barometric pressure always gets to me..
Let's play a game where I offend people for stating what I'm thinking right now and then a week later I'll apologize after I've lost a bunch of potential friends and the pressure has cleared...
I think life is incredibly fair and if you complain about it being unfair it's because you want it to be unfair...in your favor! If you follow the rules of life you get exactly what you earn, plain and simple. The unfair part is the way people treat each other. Some people get away with being disrespectful, rude, and complete assholes. In fact, being an asshole makes most people feel good about themselves--and there's not a damn thing anyone can do to stop another person from being an asshole.
Third, being a smart individual I can say this, and I'm going to say that the worst harm you can do to yourself is not physical harm or abusive relationship after abusive relationship--the worst thing you can do to hurt yourself is to become intelligent. If you can think critically about things, you will alienate yourself from everyone around you who doesn't also know how to think critically--and guess what, there are SOOO few of us, so it's about like alienating everyone. People are sheep and they want to stay sheep at all costs, and they get boiling angry when you try to make them think for themselves. The next worse thing you can do is to be confident. People will mock you and deter you from thinking critically, but if you're not confident who cares?--You'll be too unsure of yourself to care and others will convince you that your critical thinking is insanity. When you're confident, their mocking will hurt you more because you're no longer repeating verbatim what someone else came up with. If the person you repeat is wrong then it's not on you, it's on them, but if you're wrong, well... it hurts so much more.
Next, I'm convinced that this is something you're born with--to WANT to be nice and WANT to be fair and to WANT to have peace. Some people just want conflict. If is a hell of a lot easier to go through life seeking conflict than it is to desire peace. Why do people not understand that we don't need all of this conflict? We have plenty to share and yet people are so greedy that they horde everything in excess and they try to keep it from other people like the universe owes them. So my advice is don't fuck with peace if you question whether it's worth it, because it is not worth it. Those of us who desire it only do so because it is a part of who we are and we can't help but want it. Besides, there is only one way to obtain peace and I guarantee that you do not know how to get it, even if you think you do. The only way for true lasting peace (which is the only real peace) is through constant collaboration. No compromising, no avoiding, no accommodating, no aggressing--all of these will only bring a temporary peace--a ceasefire. And ceasefire is not real peace. And YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO GET REAL PEACE. Every attempt you make to create peace only creates more conflict you fucking asshole. I'm not talking about inner peace. Inner peace is easy. Just love yourself enough not to give a damn about the world around you. We have too many people who think inner peace is the only way. Why do you think there are so many assholes? Because people settle into this line of thinking...that they can avoid conflict, or accomdate conflicts, or that they can compete with others until they have dominated them into submission and that somehow their WAR will bring about PEACE. You fucking assholes. That is not the way to true peace.
No, what we need are people who have found inner peace to seek outer peace and to do it the right way. I've personally lost complete faith that in my lifetime I'll ever see any kind of social change that brings about such peace. Hell, as far as I'm concerned I'm the only fucker that's working towards it and it's  constant battle because I too would rather go the easy way and just seek inner peace. Sure, we'll make social advances in our institutions in my lifetime, but the people themselves will stay the same. You can't change a sheep's opinion unless you encourage them to be more sheep-like. I should know! I've been a sheep before. I used to think life was unfair. I used to be an asshole. I used to seek inner peace and la de frickin' da!--I know that that is what contributes to a world of shitheads because I was once one.
I don't want to hear people complain about life anymore, about not having a great job, or not having enough time to do what they love. It's bullshit. Use you inner peace like you always do and just say fuck-it to the world, then go do what you're going to do anyway. And I don' twant to hear people say that no one is like them and they have no friends. Try knowing all of the tricks of life, thinking critically, being confident, and realizing you have very little to complain about--only then will you realize that you have "no friends" and that no one is like you and that everyone is an asshole to you.
Be what you truly are, and if that's an asshole then cope with the fact that you're an asshole; but don't be an asshole if you don't think you're an asshole. If you think you are only a jerk because other people are jerks to you, then either you really are a jerk and need to settle with the fact that you were born in the dark and that your heart is cold and black, OR you need to realize that you're not an asshole and that nothing in the world will change the fact that you're not an asshole.
You are not a sheep though. No one is a sheep. You are just lazy. You don't WANT to think for yourself. You don't want to think about things critically because it means you'll have to take risks and make decisions for yourself rather than relying on the "advice" of others both live and dead. You're not a sheep. You may be an asshole, but even assholes need to think for themselves. I realize that there is nothing I can tempt you with to persuade you into not being a sheep. I realize that if I showed you how to have a million dollars sitting in the bank with your name on it within a year, that that would not entice you to think for yourself. I realize that me yelling at you, calling you an asshole, treating you like shit--that's not going to make you think for yourself--not even if I use your own sheepish logic to convince you that you're wrong in being a sheep or that you need to repent and make amends. I can't convince you that being who you really are is better than being a sheep either, because you'll convince yourself that you are being who you really are, and that who you are is a sheep. There is no argument that I can make that will convince you not to be a sheep. So fuck you for being an asshole, at least by me being an asshole I'll feel better about myself, you arrogant little pricks.
The truth is, if you think critically. If you are not a sheep. If you refuse to merely be a machine created by the environment that generated all of your robotic parts, but you instead choose to be a real, living, human being. Well...you'll realize that true peace, both inner and outter and most importantly: LONG LASTING PEACE is the only peace worth having. And you'll realize that everything else is a cheap imitation. You'll realize that everything else is second place and second rate and that it's not worth having because you can't have both--you can't have true peace if you're obsessed with the id or ego. You can't have true peace if it's only temporary. You can't have peace and will never have peace if you think it's going to just happen on day on no part of your own. And worse still, you make it so that the few of us who really are intelligent and confident and peaceful--WE can't have peace because of you. You are the weak link that is holding back humanity.
Lastly, I don't want to hear anyone else complain about what I just complained about. You know nothing, Jon Snow or whoever you are.--I complain because no one else complains in this way, and believe I am alone. If I had a soul-brother or soul-sister who thought the way that I do, I wouldn't need to complain. I would have renewed hope in humanity that there truly are people out there like me who are working towards real peace. I would have twice as large of a support system for the grief that all of these other assholes bring me. If you want to complain about this, please come to me brother, please come to me sister; but don't complain because that will only rub in the fact that I am wrong, and it will hurt to be wrong because I am confident that I'm not wrong.--Ah hell...do come to me and complain about this because I would rather be wrong and able to face that I'm wrong than be right and face that lonely path I foresee by being right.

"Blame will not stop me from getting back up" an Essay by K. Oakes

I've been dealing with some strange arguments lately and it has made me depressed. I tend to be a very thought-oriented individual and sometimes I think myself into a mentally "dangerous" situation. I think myself into a situation where I can't figure things out and can't be comfortable with life until I can resolve these arguments that I stumble into.--Yes, yes, it's extreme, but what I do lose hope and become depressed, I know why I am depressed and because I think, I am better able to pull myself out of depression. I am alive, I understand my own humanity and I don't need medication to deal with it, I don't need a therapist, I just need myself and some time to think through these strange arguments and to hear some other arguments that help me think my way out of them. 

I watched this film today and I think my depression is over.  Life makes sense to me now, again:

I watched the above film "The High Cost of Living (2010)" and it brought my mind back to an argument I am still attempting to debate. The argument is this: "It does not matter whose fault it is, what matters is where you go from here."

It seems to me that people put a huge emphasis on finding whose fault something is and then making them pay. We raise our kids to think that if the neighbor harmed us we need to harm them back, or make them fess up to it, or make them pay for it.--If they break a window on your house by accident, they need to work and earn the money to pay you back; if your boyfriend has sex with someone else then they have problems and you should leave them; if you hit someone with your car, you need to make it up to them and go to prison.--I think this is stupid.

Our society is way too preoccupied with whose fault it is and that makes it more difficult for us to be comfortable with our human condition. Really the issue comes down to that we've been trained into thinking in fault-finding--blame Plato/Socrates for that because it's his fault we got here! He introduced us to the concept of real truth, rather than sophist truth/democratic truth, and argued that it was superior to sophist truth. When you have the concept of objective truth, then you can have the concept of blame and be somewhat fair about it.--Only problem is that we almost never have the real truth and even when we do, the truth becomes irrelevant because it is fact and doesn't associate blame or fault any more than it associates justification or rightness.

I propose a better way, and it stems from my religious beliefs. No, I'm not a Christian or a Jew or a Muslim or a Buddhist, and I'm not an agnostic. I'm Atheist--Atheist in the Greek sense, so if you want to call me Greek Atheist, fine.--but the term is generalized. I don't believe in God or Gods but I believe Religion brings down our society when it should be lifting us up, so I oppose religion. Do I think all religion is "bad"? No. Do I believe people are bad? No. My real religion is Love. --And I've seen Religion oppose Love often enough to believe that religion leads to the opposite of Love, and anything that opposes what I believe in, I oppose--up until it can stand out of the way of my beliefs. If religion can find a way to be passive and not affect Love, then I would support it, but sometimes it doesn't, and when it doesn't then I am Greek Atheist.

I already wrote an article on Love, so I'm not going to go into detail about that here, but whenever you start to blame others you start to hinder love. You hold back people that you care about. Worse, you hurt people who are trying to Love or trying to be Loved! Those people, over time, become bitter and have a harder time loving others or being loved by others. How scary is that? If to love is to have someone care about you, then what happens when you get bitter and have a hard time caring about other people--you go crazy. You go sociopathic, you go really really really nihilistic and then you end up like any of these kids out there these days who go homicidal and then suicidal. --PLEASE don't hurt people who are trying to Love or be Loved because  it leads them down a dark path and society is paying the debt every time one of these kids loses hope and takes out a bunch of people with him or her.


The strange argument that was bringing me down is simple, and in essence, it IS the Human Condition. It is the desire for purpose, it is the unquenchable curiosity, it is the fear of death and the inevitable isolation.


But you've gotta get back up.
I've picked this video because it's a new, unheard song by Eminem mixed with a popular video game. This was very intentional and very specific. It would seem that Eminem is the patron saint of nerds, geeks, and kids who've been picked on, feel different, and feel like they aren't loved. And have you seen how many of these kids play video games to escape, especially shooters?

Let me explain the argument I was battling with, because it all ties back to blame, and I think everyone could benefit from understanding this argument.

First, I had the question: What is the point of life? If I know how to be happy, if I know how to connect with others, if I know how to find answers to my questions because I know how to think, then what is the purpose of life if eventually I'll always be forced into isolation? Why do I fight on? Why do I keep making new friends when eventually they fade away, why do I put up with other people's annoying behavior, why do I try to help people, and most of all, why do I Love? It's easier to hate, it's easier to live a life of bitterness. It's easier to be completely independent of people--to fade away into the blackness, to venture out into the wilderness and never come back. It's easier to give up on life and to express yourself in a way so that people understand that they hurt you. It's SO much easier to blame others for all of your problems. To blame them for hurting you--because shit, they have hurt you! --So why fight on, why keep going in life? What's the point? Why am I beating myself up?


Asking that question is like asking: Why do I refuse to give up?


--And we all have to find our own answer to that question because it all depends on what you are doing. Ultimately, the answer comes down to: "...Because what I want is that important."--And yes, it IS subjective. This whole world comes down to the subjective answer you give to the question "Why Do I refuse to give up?" Because what I want is THAT important.

But before you can make the jump from asking the question, to realizing the answer, you have to come to the realization of exactly WHAT you want.--I know what I want. I've thought it out often enough at least that I ought to know what I want.--But this last little while I didn't really understand what I want. It isn't that I want to be at peace and happy, and that's why I was so upset about this strange argument. Because What's the point if all I want is to be at peace and happy?

Then, I hit a standstill in my argument, because eventually, I'll die and it'll be over with, so why am I not comfortable with dying now? Why am I not completely comfortable with my fear of death? What is it that made me panic so much when I was swimming across the lake? What is it that prevents me from giving myself away to the military to use my life to protect my ideals--I even thought, maybe I could go to another country and fight for their wars, because war isn't a matter of patriotism, it's a matter of ideals and there are a few wars that I support even though they have little to do with the U.S. --Again, why do I fight? Why have I fought this far?-- WHAT have I been fighting for?

And I think from watching that film I finally have an answer to that question:
I keep going because I have a dream that the world doesn't have to be this way. I'm not the ass I used to be because I don't want to spread anti-love, I don't want to blame people anymore because I've been wrongly blamed before and it took me a long time to get better from that and I've been rightly blamed before and it didn't help anything, it was just as bad as when I was wrongly blamed. I refuse to give up being a nice guy because I dread the thought of a world where all the nice guys give up hope. I refuse to stop helping people, even when I'm drained and I just want to go home, because I live in a world where sometimes people refuse to help and a lot of bad things happen because of it. People lose hope, they go on their own personal jihad or crusade, they go completely crazy because the arguments take them over and no one has trained them on how to deal with the arguments.

I'm fighting a war every day. The war I fight is in favor of Love. It is so that there will be one less kid who takes his life and the life of others. It is so that we can all have real peace and we can all be happy. I refuse to give up because I am still fighting for a better world, one in which people don't live in fear of being rejected, one in which we keep moving forward and nothing holds us back, one in which there is always support out there for people who need it. I'm fighting for a world where we stop focusing on blame and fault, because the more I learn about blame and fault, the more I realize it's contrary to everything I believe in and fight for.

Why do we punish people for mistakes? Why do we punish people for intentional acts? Either way, we have to live with the outcome. Why make enemies when you can make friends? Why not enlist their help in fixing this rather than turning them into an enemy?

I know the answer to these questions: It's because we think our human condition is going to be resolved if we have a scapegoat. We think that if we're in the right and they're in the wrong that we're going to find closure. --But you don't find closure from that. You find closure in another way.

So what your girlfriend cheated on you, can't you see that she isn't getting some of her needs met by you? So what if people are rude to you, can't you see that they have problems and that when you are rude back that you're makign their problems worse and you're not making them want to be nice to you.

This is why I fight. Because I believe in a better world than this. I believe it is possible. I believe it is feasible. I believe that my actions make a difference, and I for one refuse to give up until I can see that world. No matter how hard people make it for me. We, who believe in this better world, will not give up.


I hope some day you can join us and the world will live as one.