Want to know me? Know my Cynic

[WARNING CAUTION WARNING CAUTION WARNING CAUTION:]
[This is an angry cynical angst drunk rant. Read at your own discretion...]

You know what?
I hate the way the world works.
I hate the way it fits together so neatly.
I hate that I know the consequences.
I hate that I'm responsible.
I hate that I'm not crazy and yet, I am.
i hate that I have it good when others don't
I hate how perfect my life is
because it's not perfect!
I hate that I love my life

I'm invisible
because I'm a statue
Apollo
One look
One awe
And then they're done
I blend in
to everything around

You know how many times I've heard that line?
"You're too perfect for me" ... because "I'm not used to guys like you"
Fuck my Life!
You might think I'm perfect
but I'm choosing you right now
I'm living right now
I'm with you
right now.
And it kills me every time

I've been the secret lover
I've been the one you hate
I've been your best friend for years
and you'd still walk away
I've been hurt
I keep bouncing back
And you know what?
I have no one to turn to
no one to tell how I feel
no one to listen to
no one to take care of
except myself.

I'm not selfish
I'm tender
And we don't do well in the sun
all alone.
I might look like a cactus
but I'm not prickly
I'm no porcupine
I won't bite!

If I can't have you for myself
I want you as a friend, best
But please don't walk
Don't leave
When everything is so good