Will

I started to write a will but decided I didn't want to include some of the people I listed in it so I quit writing it.

I figure I'll write down a few things I DO know right here, and maybe that will motivate me to finish it:


1- When I die, I want to donate my primary organs: Heart, Liver, Kidney, Lungs, and Eyes, to otherwise healthy kids (first) and then adults who have genetic defects, were wounded in a gunfight, car crash, or other abnormal disaster.
2- My spinal column, brain, skin, and any other internal organs I would like to donate to scientific research related to developing technologies that can rebuild dead or dying cells, or genetic research.
3- With anything left, I wish to be cremated and have my ashes separated and spread throughout nature--the ocean, the mountains, forests, etc. Preferably by a close friend or family member who will hike, bike, kayak, mountain climb, or ride horses to such remote places.
4- I want to have a bench built in a nature park or along a hiking trail, that can be used as a monument to my life. Inscribed on the bench I want it to have my house seal (which I designed myself) and the words "I am from the past, no one knows the future, but I tried my damnedest to live in the present."
5- Each of my two Brothers and two Sisters, and Both of my parents are entitled to take one item from my possessions of their choosing.
6- Should any women come forward claiming to be my girlfriend (however weak their claims) at the time of my death, they will be entitled to one of my possessions of their choosing.
7- My dog shall be returned to my breeder as per my contract with her, who I will entrust to either return to one of my trusted family members or friends who will give her a good home or will find a better home for her. Should any of my family or friends want her they may take it up with Regalane.
8- My car, I want to auction off and the proceeds donated to the Arbor Day Foundation because I like what they are trying to do for the world.
9- My house and any land that I own I want to be sold at auction, the opening bid at the amount I still owe on my mortgage plus any of my debts--I don't imagine it will have a hard time selling.
10- I want the rest of my possessions auctioned off with the exception of any content rights, creative rights, or rights to residuals.



At this point, I don't know what else to do with my possessions...

I know that I do not want to give my creative rights away to anyone--because I know no one who I could trust with them. All of my poems, all of my writings, my artwork, my films, my book--all of it is shit anyway, but I still don't want to give them to anyone because no one has proven themselves worthy to me.
So if they are worth anything, if what I have had to say is worth anything to anyone, I don't want them to have it because they don't deserve it.
At this point in my life, I don't even think I want any of it published once I'm dead, so if I die before it gets published then I hope it sinks to the grave with me. It's selfish, I know, and I have no excuse for it...

Please read this letter/incorporate it into my obituary:

I want to make the point that you have all treated me like shit.
Some of you have used me like a slave, enlisted me to work for you while you gained from my labor, and most often you did this by offering me the worst deals that you knew I had to take because I had no other options at the time.
Some of you have forced me into situations where I had to pay for your things, not of my own free will but out of guilt.
Some of you have lied to me and some of you have hid things me, and you should know I never believed that intentions were justifications for doing anything. When your lies made me feel bad, gave me anxiety, kept me from information that might have helped me make a good decision, then I don't give a damn about your reasoning behind it, because some of you never apologized to me.
Some of you weren't there when I needed you. I've maintained a policy that if anyone needs someone to talk to, that I would volunteer. And I did!--I did for my whole adult life. Yet when I needed to talk, some of you have blown me off.
And you know what? Ignoring me was what hurt me the most in life. I could have handled you telling me off. I could have handled you telling me that you didn't care enough about me to listen to me. I could have handled you telling me that I was an asshole who didn't deserve it. But you didn't. You didn't say anything and you let me beat myself up.

I guess that's the whole reason why I don't think anyone is worthy.

So take whats left of my money and buy up a large block of milled copper with it and drop it into the ocean.