You're Silly

I have been known to call people silly quite frequently; my friends (typically who are girls), my family, dogs and animals, etc. have all been called it before.

I realized yesterday though, the reason I call them that. Although I am fairly good at making an argument and providing in depth analysis and critical views of things, I am often not very good at describing how I feel. I very much feel things, but I don't often know how to put them in words. Sure, English is a very flexible language, and I am beginning to learn how to properly use it to explain myself, but it just cannot do justice for some of the happiest and most joyous experiences I have.
Sometimes someone close to me does something that makes me laugh inside, either because it is humorous, or because my interpretation of it is humorous. I don't want to laugh, either because I am tired, or because I fear offending them, so instead I will call them silly. Really, the person who is "silly" is me, because I cannot seem to figure out how to express that emotion.
I am a fan of people who do cute things, or things that show just how human and real they are, and that they are trying their hardest and doing everything expected of them. It is an admirable trait in the world we live in where everyone has told a lie and a lot of people are disguising who they really are in order to accomplish their own selfish objectives.
I am also a fan of people who do things selflessly. That too is pretty admirable because it shows that they have a good character.
But when it comes to me telling them that I like that about them, I find it often awkward or challenging to explain it to them, so I settle on calling them silly.

Last night I called my parents silly (not openly but in my head) because I had to explain the rules to a new card game to them ten different times in ten different ways. It was not their fault really, they are getting older and it is more difficult for them to understand the new complexities that are entering into culture. The truth is, I liked explaining it to them in so many different ways because it gave me an opportunity to test my communicating abilities in new ways.

I hope people don't get offended when I call them silly. It is almost always a good thing.

I am reminded of the Kurosawa film Sanjuro in which Sagatasha Sanjuro is a character who often points out his displeasure and yet appreciates it. He is later called "a too sharp sword" by another character, who explains that good swords are kept in their sheathes and remain sharp. Other characters say that "that is just how he talks". He might get upset, or angry, or point out how other people's decisions affect his life negatively, but in reality he knows it is something he can handle, probably from the experience he has had with dealing with it, and he recognizes that life wouldn't be the same if people weren't always disrupting his tranquility. In fact, the story starts out with him being awoken to a secret meeting people are having in another room of an empty shrine he chose to stay the night in. If they didn't wake him up with their chatter, he would not have gotten involved with them and he would not have enjoyed the experiences he enjoyed while living through that.

I think I am very much like Sanjuro. I enjoy all experiences even though at the time I might now realize it. That is what makes life fun, when out of the ordinary people rub on your life and polish you a little more.