put myself out there

Now that school is in again, I have a lot more opportunity (plural...ies) to open my mouth and state what is in my mind. But I am finding as I put myself out there, I don't entirely know how my opinions or thoughts are going to be recieved or if they will be understood.

I'm not as good as speaking as I am at writing. This I do know, because when I write I often go back through and correct everything that I wrote, but in speaking I do not have that privilege--I have to ramble on and on, and I don't like ramblers so I avoid becoming one. --I'm still learning :) that's why I'm in school derrr. But I must point out, that it isn't the lack of reasoning capabilities that  prevents me from coming up with meaningful things to say and bring into life. It is that I don't know how to put into words the things that are in my head. (funny, because the way I am writing this blog is really raw and unedited--just straight from my head with few changes on'ce it's out there)

So that leads me into the truth I want to really bring up: that sometimes when I walk away from a class or from a discussion, or what-have-you, I question just how well I conveyed an idea that was in my head...You see, -I- see certain connections in my mind, some of them are subconscious hints, others are glimmers of conscious thoughts that disperse so quickly through my mind that I forget what point I am really trying to make and are more like notes I would put on a cue card.
And then I open my mouth and speak in a way that I think can really be riddling. --Riddles such as these make for good poetry, but not for common tongue.

**NOTE: Remind me to write about the common tongue idea sometime, because it's really itneresting: the difference between modern english that you speak to your friends, and english that you speak in the intellectual world.***


So I guess what I am saying is taht I put myself out there a lot and I have reached a point where I am either too tired (I HAVE been up at nights unable to sleep on this aweful mattress) or I have had so many experiences otherwise (I HAVE been well accustomed to speaking my mind, sometimes to the point where it makes enemies of people who misunderstand me) that I don't care what I say. If I say something and it is misinterpreted, I care very little about that. But when I REALLY want someone to understand me, I'll write them a letter or email or something (text message?) The common tongue is limited in its ability to convey important information because the common tongue is meant to be fast, not slow and rhetoric, intellegence, knowledge, --it all takes a long time to learn and convey.