I just got back home from a new year's "party" put on by the YSA division of my church (for 18-30 yr olds). There were a lot of people there, probably a thousand, but actually I think the average age of everyone there probably was closer to 18; I didn't see many people over 24.
I'm getting too old for this... Parties became lame when I hit 19. I used to not like dancing because I didn't know how to dance, now I understand the whole "dancing" thing, but I don't want to give it a try because it seems like something kids do. I want to say that I'm offended that I get grouped with people that age. I can see why some 23 year old young men are more like 19 year olds, but I'm not like that. I've always acted older than my age and I look forward to old age when there isn't a limit and people just see me as "old". I'm actually hoping I die young so that I don't have to see everyone around me turn to veg.
I'm really not sure why I went to this party. At parties there's a silent expectation that you'll meet some new friends or something exciting will happen, and although I did make some new friends, I'm remembering that I already have too many friends, and exciting things always happen at parties--too exciting of things for a calm, constant intellectual like myself. I don't really "relax" when I go to parties, I usually just get bored. I'm more of the type that has to create the party and be the center of attention, otherwise I retire, recede and disappear among the crowd. I'm sure I come off as quite boring and shy at big parties like that.
Actually, I'm sure I come off as boring and shy everywhere. I have my own circle in which I excel in: theater, classical events, strategic development meetings, anyplace where talking about deep concepts is commonplace including lectures, readings, and public speeches. Outside of that circle I'm kind of a no-body. I wouldn't say that list is comprehensive, but my point is that there are times where I'm not enjoying myself, and when I'm not enjoying things then people aren't enjoying me. [[*sigh* In a perfect world, I would always be entertained and then people would always enjoy me.]]
The truth behind all of this is that there are people out there who are incredibly interesting, fun, and exciting, but you'll never know that if you don't entertain them...
In more ancient times, politics had established customs and patterns that built relationships with people just by following the standard protocol. The best English word to describe this is "Tradition". The Japanese had tea ceremonies and public dinners including plays and singing. The English, similarly, had public dinners and bards and clowns. Scandinavia and the Vikings had dinner and sporting, including wrestling and drinking contests. In Judaism, the head of household would slaughter the fatted calf and hold a feast as well. The Romans had the gladiator games. Events, celebrations, ceremonies, feasts and dinners, &c. were all focused around the Rhetorical concept.
Holding a party was designed to convince and persuade people on a specific point using Kairos (proper timing) and an emotional argument. If the king wanted to persuade his new Thane of Cawdor that he was indeed grateful for his heroics and skill in the battle, and to model the thane's behavior for others to mimic, he would hold a feast in his honor (Macbeth). At the feast, the King and his closest friends as well as the new Thane and his wife, would sit at one table; everyone else would sit at another table where they could still honor their king and the guest of honor, but could mix and mingle among themselves. By attending an event like this, the guest would be persuaded to follow the thane's example and become a better person (or at least do better what the king wants). The thane would be persuaded to keep doing what they are doing and to not turn against the king, which is the reason Macbeth has such a traumatic time killing the king.
These weren't just "parties" for entertainment--there was no such thing as "entertainment" back then and people weren't ever "bored" with nothing to do; each "party" had a specific rhetorical purpose. The life of the commoner was just rough enough that they had to work day-in day-out in order keep food on the table and there wasn't any time to sit around. The wealthy land owners, too, were so busy planning and managing the workflow and upkeep of things that they didn't have time for entertainment.
What we today see as entertainment, would have been considered a rogue activity to society of several generations ago. Public houses, buildings established in each town for the benefit of the traveler so that they could purchase room and board, also had license and permit to sell alcohol. Since people out of town have a tendency to want to do things they wouldn't do in their home country, pubs became gathering places of sex, violence, and illegal practices. When the pubs became large enough, they incorporated live music and dancing, and freedom to behave riotously. THAT was the entertainment business. You entertain people from out of town. You celebrate those within.
Parties today are more like the pub scene--the bar scene. Event planners, of the kinds of events I opened this article with, focus more on sending their guests home happy than truly benefiting their lives. A ball, years ago, was designed to help the noble class mingle with potential mates, thus continuing the noble blood line and an event planner would have that specific purpose in mind. Commoners, when they had options of who to marry instead of the necessity to marry the only other person of the opposite sex in town, would hold various festivals and dances as well (the maypole for example).
Today, since we don't believe there is a ruling class and a common class (although I would argue that we do, it's just better hidden in rhetoric [what is upper class if not the rulers of our nation, economy, and culture? and what is lower-class if not the working common class?]), when we hold "balls," they aren't the same--after all, we are surrounded by eligible people now that class isn't an issue, why would we need to hold an event for people to pair off?
For that matter, why would we need to attend any kind of event if it doesn't entertain us?
Life is somewhat anti-climatic...
We fought, we rebelled, we gained our freedom, and then we freed the world. Now, people spout things like "human rights" and "entitlements"--"we want what we deserve!" Now that things have run full circle, all of those conflicts of the past that opened up doors for public education, freedom from unfairly seizing our property or money, accurate representation of the people and voting, ceasing oppression of minorities, &c. All of that seems kind of wasted... humanity built itself up to this "new, better world," and yet really at the core the only thing they want is to eat, drink, and be merry.
The only thing that society has changed are it's traditions and institutions. Now, instead of having our money seized by the king, our money is seized by a bi-polar government and the banks that rule our economy. One year Our government is staunch left, the next it's staunch right, re-correcting the changes of the previous year. Instead of heroic fire-fighters being honored by communities and magistrates, it takes a terrorist act for us to recognize that these outstanding citizens are volunteers. Soldiers get cheap medals, not titles. Instead of apprenticing we intern. Our education system is based around postponing life to teach general skills that have to be retaught specifically and retaught correctly by employers. Instead of being wealthy land owners with titles and obvious bloodlines, the leaders of our economy and politics have hidden, but obvious, bloodlines and hidden titles like M.B.A. at Harvard school of Business, Yale, or Princeton.
The only thing that's really changed in our society, aside from the names, is that we've gotten rid of a lot of good things in order to focus on being merry. I think society is confused by itself, and that's what makes life so anti-climatic. It's just not what it ought to be based on all the hard work, sweat and even blood put into it.
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