Shades of Grey

Sorry to make this suddenly less professional. I've tried to keep my personal life out of it as much as possible and focus on the philosophy, rhetoric, proof and truth; but I need to share this observation.

I am part of 1/5 faction of my society. There are fairly distinct divisions in the world around me between people, and it disturbs me. Where is the unity of mankind? We are not unified; we do not have one heart and mind. We aren't all working towards the same things even though a couple of the factions may claim so and call it by a different name that has the appearance of being the same thing.--it isn't.

I am referring only to my age group and location. I've tried to be tolerant so that I could see each viewpoint and yet, even I am very intolerant.

The five factions I speak of are these:

1. Extremist Mormons
2. Doubting Mormons
3. Moderates
4. Other Religious
5. Anti-Mormons

I fall into the third category. There was a time when I left that category to become a part of the first category, and life cracked down on me and I became the second category and it was a scary time for me. My recovery was an acceptance process in which I learned to accept things the way they are and I now try to find a balance between everything.
I've always had friends in the fourth category, and even a couple in the fifth category, but I try to stay away from them as much as possible.

If you were to chart these factions into a pie chart, it would look much like a peace sign. The lines between the fourth and fifth factions often blend and become the non-mormons, and the lines between the first and second blend as well and become the mormons. What you are left with is the third category. Mormons assume they aren't mormon; Non-mormons assume that they are. I don't know how many of us there are, but I suspect not that many.

I haven't quite placed my finger on the cause of these three factions--particularly, I don't understand how there are so many extreme mormons and so many doubting mormons and not many moderates. I can understand why there are other religious views, and I think I can wrap my head around the cause of the fifth category.

A lot of people in my age group are judgmental, they make assumptions before finding evidence, such as when they refuse to date anyone who hasn't been on a mission, or doesn't attend church. They are prone to avoid talking to people either due to previous bad experiences, or they live in fear that they are going to be converted to the dark side. Those that do branch out to talk to people from other factions, it seems, only do so because they want to convert them to their faction. I suppose it's probably really lonely over there, and it's also a badge of honor to convert someone. For all I know they could be judgmental and push for change merely because they feel hurt and trapped and they want to make others miserable as well, even when their misery is only caused by their extreme nature.
The problem with all extremist groups however, is that they are easy to manipulate and control. Mankind has seen what Christian and Islam extremists can do as they wage crusades and jihads. We have seen what pagan extremists can do as Hitler conquered and killed thousands. Being an extremist doesn't help society, it doesn't help mankind, and it doesn't help you personally.

The other half of church-going Mormons are doubtful. They don't know how to make sense of life, they see the extremists and they feel pressure from them and they assume that they aren't good enough. They question everything. They assume that because they don't know the answers it is because they aren't meant to know them right now and that with enough time the answers will be revealed to them. There are a lot of good people trapped in this faction, and I am cautious in using that word. They are trapped because they are using their religion as a crutch. Instead of finding answers to obvious questions about life, they turn to religion because they have been told that church has all the answers. --There are times when the church doesn't have answers though. God may have the answers, but as part of your learning process he is going to force you to branch out and learn for yourself.
The doubting mormons tend to band together with extremist mormons, trying to fit in. They don't want to be extreme, but they don't want to be excluded. They don't possess the same hatred or disgust or that extremists might, but at the same time, they aren't independent. They live in doubt because they don't "know" anything and merely trust faith, yet eventually you have to "know" things--you have to resolve in yourself that things are true, because really, nothing we "know" can be 100% proven and we are always acting on faith. Lack of confidence puts you in this category.

Other religions approach mormons in Utah with mixed emotions. They know that there are good mormons and that there is no reason to judge all mormons the same. But they also know there are extremist mormons who are equivalent to mormon terrorists. They see the pain that some doubting mormons go through and they assume that mormonism makes a person unhappy. They want to reach out and help those people and they try to lure them away from their religion, but only with the best intentions.
Because they are from other religions, they engage in behavior that mormons do not. This puts them at odds with the extremists. There is the occasional tension between the extremists and the other religions, but it doesn't lead to conflict. They also tend to be a little more happy than mormons because they aren't as constrained by their religious views, they aren't criticized as much, and they don't have as much pressure and stress related to religion. While the doubtful might feel stress and pressure for not knowing about life, and assume that religion is designed to give the answers, but because of their behavior they don't feel they deserve to know about life; the other religions maintain the belief that occasionally church cannot provide answers and solutions, even when they ought to. Other religions are a little more at peace with life and more accepting of the unknown.

Anti-mormons are the extremists opposing the mormon half. They don't want anything to do with mormons. They outright oppose mormons agendas, even when those agendas might help them as well. They are distrustful. They are full of hatred and bias. They make plenty of assumptions about ALL mormons and pin as many of their problems on mormons as possible. They don't realize that most of their problems are their own problems. Many, possibly even most of them, are ex-mormons who at some point got fed up with the extremist behavior. The rest of them come from other religions that are fed up with mormon dominance in Utah and extremist tension. There are real conflicts between these extremists and the extreme mormons.


Then there's me and other moderates. Extreme Mormons assume we're non-mormons because we have non-mormon friends or doubting friends who still believe but have their own faults that prevent them from fully knowing. We don't really fit the cookie-cutter shape that mormons want us to. We don't do things merely because it is what our religion tells us to do. We don't do things merely because people pressure us to do them and want us to do them. We do things because we want to do them. Extremists don't really want us around unless we're going to fully convert and become just exactly like they are.
When Anti-mormons see us, they assume we're those "evil mormons" who cause them so much trouble. They don't want us around either because of our faith. When they don't catch on that we are part of that mormon group, they want us to join in with them in bashing mormons. They're not much different from extreme mormons except they're the inverse. Both extremists and anti's want us to be miserable just like they are. Neither of them really 'know' anything, they act on their own personal faith, either pro-mormon faith, or anti-mormon faith and they're adamant and over-confident that they are correct. So confident that they breeze over a lot of facts that indicate they need to tone it down a little. Their emotions lead them more than their logic, and as rhetoric teaches, if you want to learn the truth you've got to be persuaded by both equally and not one over the other.

The relation between doubting mormons and moderates, and other religions and moderates is very complex. Some approach us as an opportunity to join in with the extremists of either end by pinning fault on us and strengthening their own beliefs to where they can join either faction. Being a moderate I have to constantly resolve concerns of either side, either by either being tolerant of their views or showing that I put my stock in my faith and that I'm not an extremist on either end. The truth is, I try to be as true to myself as possible, and somehow people must recognize that I'm moderate.


Being this way, I don't know how to proceed. The majority of people live on either polar end. Rhetoric is only useful on the doubting mormons, other moderates, and other religions. My other blog wasn't successful enough because I was gearing it to a moderate audience and because I didn't want to gear to an extreme audience. Making friends can be difficult and political because I really don't like hanging around either of the extreme ends, and they don't like me hanging around them either. Not knowing whether this will continue all of my life  isn't a good feeling though I suspect it will. Life is just mysterious and interacting with people isn't always fun either....