That's right, I AM a cocky rich kid

It took me a while to recognize the distinct class differences around me. I went through elementary school in one location and hung around mostly people from a lower class than I, then I moved away and everyone seemed to be in that class, so I guess I didn't recognize it. It wasn't until college that I found out I really don't fall into the middle or lower class, that I'm somewhere in the upper class based on my family, my opportunities, and my own preference.

In most of my Sociology classes the professors like to group all of their students in "the middle class" and claim that it is evident by the fact that we are at USU in sociology classes. If we were "upper class" we'd go to harvard or yale or some other school. I highly beg to differ though. Schooling is only a minor part of class. It is more based on wealth and social status.

I never really realized how different I was from everyone around me until I got involved our family's property holdings. We own a modestly sized ranch, a camp site near hardware park, an expensive home (which right now we are unable to sell because it is the highest priced in the market in our area, and for good reason too!) We manage my late grandmother's estate which right now includes a near the Jordan temple and a few acres of land around the corner from our ranch.
We OWN all of these things. We're debt free. And we also have a substantial chunk of money just sitting in the bank looking for a place to be invested at.
I am able to have nice clothes, a nice car, and nice furnishings. I suppose though that the reason why I was so confused is because my parents taught me how to work like the working class and act like the working class. I had to go to college and learn about how the upper class acts in order to start acting more like an upper class man. All through life I think it caused me a lot of problems because people saw me as this Cocky kid who knew everything and yet acted no different than they did. Little did I know that because I was caught in a financially stable world and acted beneath it, it was creating excess friction between myself and that class of people. They could sense it but not recognize what it was.

My grandfather was a wealthy potato farmer in Idaho--sounds like lower middle class doesn't it? --well he also owns a winter home in St. George and a cabin and dock at Island Park along with his massive farm. He knows, or at least appears to know, many wealthy individuals and actually has a few business deals with private investors in which they loan the money to construction companies to build numerous homes at a time to be sold. I've looked to him for a little bit of how I should act, but I don't think he fully has it down either.
My aunt owns GTI, genetic testing institute in Wisconsin. She started it as a paternal testing company in her basement making kits that can be used to determine the father of a baby. It's grown quite a bit and is worth a lot of money right now. She lives the life of a wealthy person.

So as you can see, it runs in my family. And Family is the greatest determinant to class. The second greatest determinant is what you personal think. And I am starting to believe more and more that I am in the upper class. --It sound snobbish to say that, but I don't mean it that way, all that that means is that I am under different obligations to hold a specific job in order to maintain my lifestyle. I have also been blessed with a few investment tricks that only those already in the upper class share with others. There are fewer secrets when it's in your family.

So with that said, I'm no longer afraid to be in this class. I may be in the lower end of the upper class, but I'm at least comfortable being up here. When I thought I was in the middle class, I really did not fit in and I couldn't figure it out. I learned many tricks to fitting in with them and I'm going to carry those advantages with me--I essentially took the life course of being in all classes and I think that's a really beneficial skill. I owe all of my diplomatic abilities to that, and I also owe all of my diplomatic faults to that (because sometimes I just get frustrated and decide to do exactly the opposite of what I should do and it really ticks people off).

Life is interesting, I think. There is so much for me to learn and understand about how my own life has shaped and I feel as I am definitely on a pathway that leads somewhere spectacular, I just have to keep moving my feet and walk the distance.

Choices and chances

One thing I have really been working on over the past few years has been making decisions and choices. If I were to sum up the common theme of my learning experiences for about 5 years (this is an estimate, I've always dealt with this, but recent years it seems to come back to this distinct theme) I would have to say that the theme has been "eventually I have to make a decision". Very rarely, if ever, have I HAD to wait for anything. Even though it would seem like I've been stuck in a situation where I really have no control and just need to wait for things to pan out for me, in reality, I chose to wait, or to postpone, or stall. And almost every time that I've stalled on my decisions, I was really wasting my time. The sooner I become settled on an idea, the quicker I can get on the right track that I need to be on.
If I make a wrong decision, it happens very quickly that I notice it was wrong and I usually quickly recover. On the other hand, if I stall or wait to make a decision before I know sufficient details, I'm only wasting my own time because there is no guarantee that things will work out as I expect in the end until I make a decision.

It kinda sounds like blindly charging into situations, and in a sense it is charging into situations, but I've found that it is always better to have a decision and work for it, or to have an opinion of a matter or to take a side, and then to also always be willing to change sides or be persuaded and make new decisions than it is to stall. Case in point, my college education: I could have stalled making a decision to go to school until after I returned from a mission, but if I did, I probably would never have gone to school. Now, even though i might regret not going to a different school, I can't complain too much because I AM learning and it's better than just wishing and hoping that I would find the time to go to school and that I could pick the perfect school for me.

Life really doesn't work for that. You have to make decisions, accept the consequences and hope that you always have more decisions you can make to make it better. If I really felt like school was a complete waste of time, I wouldn't be here still, and even though I might teeter between the two and think that maybe I would be better without school, I'm sticking with my original decision: that it's better to go to school, and at this point to go to this school, than it is for me to go to another school or to drop out completely. I've weighed my options and I'm sticking with my original decision. If circumstances change I might think twice about my decision, but it will take substantial persuasion to convince me otherwise.

Life is a Learning Experience

For starters, I completely forgot whether or not I wrote a post yesterday or not and I spaced it to the point where I didn't care.

Would you believe I'm running out of uniquely interesting things to say?--It's not really that, it's that I'm not remembering them. I must be going through a standstill phase where I still need to learn some things before I have something so really share.
I'll get something really good soon.

Hobos

Earlier this morning I worked on removing a few parts from an old camp trailer. It seemed like a hobo thing to do. The trailer is too old and worn out to use it for anything, so scrapping it is about the only phase left in its life. I've gutted another trailer before, but this one is a little different due to a particular phase in this camper's lifetime.
When it was younger, barely road worthy, my brother and his friend purchased it to deck it out and turn it into some form of space arcade game. They invested quite a bit of money into it only to abandon it before finishing the job. It has been resting at our family farm for several years; since 2003 I believe, when it received it's last inspection.
So when I say that I was removing parts from this trailer, more than anything I was taking the copper wiring and lighting, which I will be using for another project.

All the while that I was taking these things from the trailer, the thought came to me that this was precisely what hobos do. They can probably get quite a lot of good stuff just from collecting it and in all honesty if they sold it they could probably make a lot of money and survive. I expect I took $300 worth of items in an hour's time(if I bought it from the store--to sell it they would get much less). That's not a lot but it could probably feed them for a while.

Human resourcefulness is quite a profitable business. So is recycling. The only problem is that you need to find someone who will buy recycled items, and usually the people who would by them are resourceful individuals themselves who can usually find fro free what they would buy for cheap..

I just work up from a nap.

Global Weirding

One of my classes went into depth about global warming and---wait for it--wait for it--.....

...

I still don't believe that there is any issue. I mean, sure, we might be heating up and our earth is shifting it's access due to water shifts, and the oceans are rising and lowering in certain places, and part of our stratosphere may have disappeared; but, what does that say?

We've gone up globally 1 degree in temperature. --globally. That means in some places (particularly near cities) it's warmer, and in other places it's getting colder. --Colder.
Really all that this says to me is that we are going to experience more "global weirding" which is basically a fun term meaning that we'll have more extreme wind, rain, snow, and other weather conditions. It's about like boiling a pot of water. slowly the bubbles raise to the surface here and there, but until we get to 212 degrees and everything boils we're not going to be in any danger. (I'm too lazy to cross reference right now, but if I remember correctly the earth's mean temperature is 56degrees--not very hot is it?)

Even still, this DOES affect cities because that's where the heat is really at (some people claim it's due to the amount of black assfault that absorbs heat waves from the sun, but it's more than just that). So our cities are the places that are really heating up. True. Cities are built on modern technology. True. Will modern technology find a way to cool down cities if they get too hot? true.--I shouldn't state that without evidence should I?
Okay, case in point: India and the world cup: Man Made Stadium Cloud Cover

Enjoy.

I hope this article isn't too spuratic and sloppily written. It's late and I'm not all that focused on making this logically and mechanically sound.

English Majors

I am an English Major at USU. It's quite an interesting experience really. I like learning about literature because I feel like it is essentially the study of humanity. I learn about what people are like all over the world, I learn about human nature, and not only that but I learn about what people like and find interesting to read, watch, and study.
To add to it, i get to learn how to write effectively and communicate my ideas. But last of all, my degree sets me up with the correct principles and understanding to continue learning for the rest of my life. I can read things, interpret them correctly, make analytical and critical opinions and assumptions from them, and learn from it.

But I'm noticing that my fellow peers in this major are some of the most strange people out there. I use the word strange but it might be more appropriate to say eccentric or dillusional. For being students of the ways of humans, they sure don't fit into society. Are these the future writers of america? I often wonder this while i sit in class and listen to the comments of people who are overly feminist or environmental, and I wonder if perhaps the truth about life is that the vast majority of what people read and believe is written by someone who is blinded by misunderstanding.
I'm not one to believe that people change very quickly. I could write a post on that eventually and possibly persuade you to believe it with me, but I simply see that the way people are now, or the beliefs that they have at least, are going to stick with them for quite a long time. So these students who say outrageous things, look too deep into life, and are above all "weird" are going to be the ones who write the books your children read and believe and grow up to perpetuate the misconceptions onto future generations.

Knowledge is power

[[I'm purposely being vague, but I suppose if you agree with these points then, mleh]]

Point number one:
Knowledge is power
Point Number two:
Power isn't good or bad
Point 3:
But people with power are tempted more than those who don't
Point 4:
People judge more than they have right to
Point 5:
You can't see life through their life unless you live it
Point 6:
People don't like what they don't understand
Point 7:
Having someone who accepts you can prevent you from doing the worst deeds
Point 8:
People tend to judge those they don't understand and with no one to help them, no one who understands them, their downfall is accelerated.
Point 9:
People use those people mentioned in #8 as scapegoats because it makes them feel better about their lives.
Point 10:
Powerful people are judged and blamed for most of the world's problems
Point 11:
the more you say it the more it happens
Point 12:
The more you blame them and judge them, the more it becomes true
Point 13:
Those people fall even further when history records it


So knowledge isn't bad, but if you can't control it it had been better you didn't know it.
Is there a way to erase knowledge and start back at the beginning? Start back when you didn't have to know all the truth, when it was easier to be blinded lead astray and aloof. Back when it didn't matter what people thought of you because you didn't know what they meant?

How does one redeem their self when they fall? --I'm not sure that it's possible.
What if they do it in secret? Should they expose it to the world for ridicule or move on with life and forget that they slipped up?

One thing I do know: If it happens in secret, keep it that way, fix it yourself and don't give anyone the opportunity to haunt you for it. Blackmail must be worse than any other deed, I just need to prove that now.

Renewable Energy--worth it?

For one of my assignments in school I was browsing the internet and stumbled on renewable energy ideas and the like.

Essentially, it was gray water systems and solar power. I then quickly dug out the power and water bill over at my studio (it's not just my power and water, as it is on a farm) and I was actually pretty surprised: We're paying barely more than the base price for our water (which in this area is $7). The power bill is the expensive one, on average I think it was $50 or $60, which was anywhere from one month we used 200kwh to another month 1100kwh. --Think that's a lot?

I threw out the idea of a gray water system: not only would purchasing it be too expensive, but maintaining it would also be too much work and would be much more expensive than paying the $7-10/mo. we are now.

Here's the story of solar panels:
I found a simple site that offers the whole kit to setting up solar panels (all the bolts and wiring and converters are included). Then I looked into what the government was offering as incentives. Then I found a set-up that pumped out 680kwh, or in other words the medium bill out of the 7 or so months I looked up.

Ready for the price: $20,000. Plus you get 25% cost UT state tax deduction (which would have been $5,000) and a %30 federal tax deduction (which was $6,000).
And it would probably take 25 years to earn back the bill you would have paid to purchase them. Meanwhile, over those 25 years you could have invested your $20,000 in renewable energy corporate stocks and made much more money.

Moral of the story? Coal and Nuclear power is the way to go. Coal is cheap to mine and use apparently, and Nuclear power is the same way: Uranium is cheap to mine and mill.
Are there downsides to coal and uranium? Absolutely. Mountains are toppled, people get cancer, people complain about the pollution and radiation. But at the end of the day the Dollar speaks for itself: you can either get rich and pay a ton of money to make your own electricity, or you can be poor and pay someone else to make your electricity. (and water).

Not to mention that you wouldn't ever want to drink gray water--I suppose we can give it to our cows without a problem? But the truth of it is, as long as their is pollution int he skies, rainwater just isn't all that clean and it costs money to clean it.

I am persuaded to believe that renewable energy isn't quite worth it yet--wait until prices rise.

The More You know you Don't Know the More you Realize you Ain't a Smart 'in

Some days I really feel smart--you know, like I'm the hottest kid on the blog block and I know the answers to practically everything. --I'd like to convince you of that, but before I do let me tell you that I'm really not all that smart.

Some of the smartest people I know are also the dumbest ones. --Dumb as rocks. They know nothing about science, math, or anything else, but they know how to detect truth better than the rest of them. They know that they aren't smart. They know that they only have one chance to make things work for them and so they know that they've got to work for it. They know where they are going in life, where they fit in, and they know they have to learn to be happy with whatever happens in life.
The smart ones though... they don't know anything. They don't know what's right or wrong because there's too much to think about. They don't know what they're going to do with their life because they have too many options. They don't know even the slightest of who they can become and they think they can become anything; but when you expect to become ANYTHING, you aren't going to be SOMETHING.

So to put it simply, I wish I were dumb as rocks sometimes. And on occasion I am. I do a lot of gullible things or I feel pretty "blond", or I think I know something only to find out that I was completely wrong.--As I mentioned when I started this blog, I'm comfortable changing my views when a more persuadable view comes along.

I'm still learning. I probably will my whole life because I know I don't really 'know' anything and I can become anything I want, but I only want to be one thing. One of these days I'll have to give up everything else and choose one thing that I really do want to become because you really can't be everything.

My internet life is so ironic

I just got a job selling internet and the internet at my house in Ogden is down and out (same company I'm working for now).

It's a little ridiculous and highly ironic. That's why I didn't write anything for yesterday [it is hard to post anything when your internet is out (Though I could have written something quick on my phone.) ]

Not having the internet is comparable to a general walking into a battle to discover his important cavalry division isn't going to make it to the battle and he'll have to go it alone.--you grow to rely on the internet so much that it very much could bring your downfall when it doesn't show up.
The good news is that I'm not alone...all of my hometown is out (I suppose that isn't good news, is it?). I got an inside scoop of what the issue was (because my mother works for the same company in the installation side) and apparently one of the employees was instructed to pull out a specific card in order to complete a project and that card was triggered to erase the memory of the system when pulled out. It's been out for about 40 hrs and when you call in the automated recording says that "[they] know about the problem and are fixing it, have a great day." Click.

Thankfully I have a 3g card that I can do basic stuff with, which is what I'm using right now. Even though when technology fails it is catastrophic (think japan and nuclear reactors), there is always another technology to help fix the mess (we'll have to wait and see what japan uses to fix their problems, but as for me my problems can be fixed with a simple 3g card.) Internet; mleh.

The principle of working more

This is an actual principle. I'm not sure what it's called specifically, but a lot of people agree with me on this (sorry for making a vague argument and attaching "a lot of people" to it).

The idea is that the more work you have to do the more efficient you will be. I thought about that yesterday as I reviewed how much work I have ahead of me for the next couple months. I'm basically at a sink or swim point: either I survive or I drown in all the projects I have taken on. (I now suddenly have 5 jobs: Film maker, Dating coach, Qwest Salesman, Marketing Chief at a photography business, and a full-time student [they say that full time student IS a job in and of itself])
To add to that, I have this blog as an extra curricular activity, and my friend and I are starting a fake band (something we can tell people that we're in and that we recorded a bunch of songs (really it's just one) and that we have gigs every so often.)
My plate is full with these things, thankfully I passed the stress point #1 a couple weeks ago and my next stress point will be at the end of the semester when I have a bunch of papers due.
Long story short, the priciple of working more is that I will be more effective with the 24 hrs I have to do 7 things than I will to do 4 things. just throwing numbers out, those 4 things will take me 4 hrs apiece whereas the 7 things will take me 3 hrs a piece and I'll get them all done--that's the idea anyway.

I think I'll test this one out until the end of the semester and give you a follow up on whether it's real or not.

Even philosophy classes are biased

I'm sitting here in my phi class and the teacher is presenting us both sides of the argument like a good phi teacher does, except when it comes time for us to make a decision he says:" the choice is obvious."
I disagree, I think the other side has a valid argument and now we are down to personally weighing which outcome we would rather have. --mostly though I agree with him...i just think it's a dirty tactic to say that.

But I don't wanna fall asleep!

I have a nasty habit of falling asleep without fail on my bed if I am sitting on it at a certain time of day. Instead of devoting a little more time to this post I fell asleep earlier today.

Basically you can't ever win against sleep. It's the worst rhetorician ever because it always wins and never listens to the good arguments I presented like how I had things to do still...zzz...z..z..zzzzzzz

Gratitude

One of the best things you can be in life is grateful. When you're grateful you don't really have anything to keep you down. Its when you start losing sight of everything that makes you happy that drags you down and you fall.

I point this out today because I'm fully recovered now from whatever ailment I had over spring break, and although it was a bummer to be sick on my vacation, it was a good thing because now I'm pretty glad over little things like laying on my bed and not coughing, or not having that awful taste in my mouth that I just know also caused bad breath and made me avoid close proximity with people.
I like getting close to people, I do. Sometimes because it shows my comfort level around them, and sometimes its fun because its intimidating. lol

Anyway. Gratitude helps you be happier. Need I persuade you more?

Intuition

Here's an interesting topic:

Some people say it exists and some people say that it doesn't: Intuition.

Personally, I think intuition is quite real. It's not what people think really, it's the combination of your subconscious perceptions and your subconscious decision making skills. Some people are better at making subconscious decisions than others. Some people are good at not paying attention to their subconscious--and that's their downfall.

I'm under the impression that this intuition has better tools to do the job than my conscious does, but I wouldn't want to live my life on intuition alone--too much of a risk to take in case my subconscious is wrong. Plus there is an ethics issue behind making decisions without any thought.

Still, Intuition is real, using it on occasion is ethically alright.

I'm I'm like: Whateva!

Has anyone ever claimed they knew you and then proceeded to rant and rail on you? --Kinda like the Geiko ad where the Gecko gets approached by a lady who calls him Steve and rails on him...

Ya, I'm sure it's happened to everyone at least once in their life. Me, it sometimes happens when people visit my film site: www.oakesonpictures.com and they browse around. Well every once in a while I get an email from some deranged individual who claims they know who I am and they think my work stinks because the acting is terrible or the editing is terrible or the whatever. What they don't know is I've never spent more than $100 on a film, I get people to work for me for free, and under those situations it is ever more difficult to make a good film and yet on occasion I do it. (more recently).

These odd emails I get are typically rants from individuals and they have no actual grounding other than opinion; and granted, opinions matter when you're trying to persuade someone, but if you trash your own ethos in your argument then your opinion really doesn't matter.
Take for instance when someone (let's say an actor) tells a director (myself) that film acting is all about camera angles and "decent acting". --For starters, that actor must not know very much about acting, or about contradicting themselves: good acting is good acting there isn't a difference between good stage and good film acting.
Doesn't matter how you portray it. Take for instance voice acting: doesn't matter if it's live, recorded radio, or standing in front of a camera. If the voice sounds good people will overlook the fact that they can't see anyone or the person isn't doing anything in front of them. Camera Angles have nothing to do with good film acting just like how you portray good voice acting. Or theater acting where there are no "angles" (there are but that's a complex matter). People used to just use stationary camera angles because they were still in a transitioning mode between using cameras and the theater. Some of these films are alright, I would say (my opinion, but if you're reading this you probably trust my opinion) So point #1: Film acting has nothing to do with the camera.
Second, you can't pose and argument by restating your argument. For instance, you can't say bubbalicious gum is the best gum because it's bubbalicious brand. The same is true with you say: film acting is only good when it's good acting. --you're stating something obvious. however, in the example I posed, I quoted the word "decent". --my definition of the word decent means that you're just getting by.Point #2: I disagree with this arugment because I think good acting is good acting and decent acting, is decent acting.

I'm not going to go much further into this recent letter aside from my 3rd point (and unfortunately you don't get to read this letter, I'm just going to sum it up). The writer (who is an actor) told me that the characters on my website (in the films) were "flat" or "lifeless" and they made an argument that I am a poor director because they didn't have much of a life to them. --I suppose I will have to agree with the author on part of that statement: the characters ARE lifeless on my website.
I have 3 videos on my website for them to pull examples from. Typically you can get away with 3 examples in any argument--3 examples is a lot in most cases. However, most of the proof this individual cited is irrelevant to his argument: 1 of the videos has no audio other than a song played in the background and it is a collection of clips from films I worked on from 2006-2009. There is no life in that video because the emphasis is on the cinematography and the silent acting and mashup that these films create:

The second video is a pilot video for a Web series that I created for my friend who acted as producer and lead actor. As far as I am concerned, this film was merely created to introduce all of the characters and set the tone for the creation of the series. I was asked initially if I wanted to join the project (several months later) to work on the actual series, but I declined because of various reasons I won't go into as well as the fact that comedy isn't my style. The characters are "lifeless" because we didn't have time to really develop them and still keep it in the time limit: ideally, this is only half of an episode because I believe they were going to launch with 2 episodes at the same time (this and one other).



Finally, the 3rd video on my website is a 2 film segment I call the "2010 Portfolio Project". I had 2 reasons for making this film: 1, to train my new crew, and 2, to have something to put online. As I said in one of my other posts, this video was made out of two, 1-page 1-scene scripts that have a beginning middle and end. Again, the characters don't have much of a life: one has a 1000 year life of living in the mud, and the other doesn't live long enough to tell us about theirs. --We purposefully don't have very many details about them because the scene is just a scene. The video fulfills it's purpose: people can watch it and think: that's good editing, that's good coloring (actually it's not, the second video had an issue that I didn't think was worth correcting, so I just printed it the way it was), that's good cinematography, etc. Did I mention these were shot in under 6 hrs?



I'm willing to settle on the fact that the acting in these films is non-existent. So it might not be a good claim for me to say on my website that I value GOOD ACTING when I have very few examples of such. However, my argument is this: just because it's not there doesn't mean it doesn't exist.--I do make sure the acting is good before I accept it. I do make sure the story is told well, even though I might still be learning how to do that effectively.
The main reason I actually put that on there was because my "competition" has ATROCIOUS acting and coloring. (oddly enough, this individual claimed to be part of one of the films that I thought was pretty atrocious on the acting side, but you didn't hear that from me). In reality, they aren't really my competition because we don't compete with one another on anything other than scheduling actors. And I have my own secret pools to obtain actors anyway.

A Word about Actors and Models

Ever wonder why the acting and modeling world is so harsh?--Most people would say it's one of the hardest industries to get into and people are mean and ultra competitive about it? Right? You've heard things like that before haven't you?

Let me explain why that is using a couple of different arguments:
Back in the good ol' days of Hollywood, before it had it's own zip-code, producers would send out recruiters to acting theaters in the midwest and the east. --They handled it very much like NFL or NBA recruiters do: they look at the skill of the actor and whether or not that actor can draw a crowd and make money.
As films became the premiere source of entertainment, more and more people wanted to visit this mysterious place called "Hollywood" and they got star-struck and wanted to be a part of it. Eventually, young girls and boys ran away from home to go to hollywood and audition for parts. They no longer needed to send out recruiters, they had plenty of people coming to them.
The only problem was, these people were:::boys and girls they had little acting skill, they just had big dreams and they were still quite young. It's hard to sell a movie to adults if the stars are all young. That's why we saw an influx of kid movies that entertained young kids who were dropped off at the movie theater to enjoy garbage. The theater was still making money though so what did they care?
Well just like any business that gets big tries to do, they tried to expand into Adult films. What do adults like? T&A--skin--cleavage of all kinds. Young women. And that marked the beginning of the smutty era which was later brought down a notch by the MPAA rating system. (that's another story)
Let's fast forward to the present day because the rest of this argument can be told running on the ethos I just created about knowing my history:
Today, the tools have been refined for picking out a good actor from a bad one. It's crucial in the business because no one will want to see your film if the acting sucks. There are also a lot of phoneys out there in the business as well, people who are trying to make money in a dishonest manner.--that would include porn movie makers and people who are trying to scam actors and models (who granted, are probably the most fragile people in America). The dishonest ones are often more believable and legitimate than the honest ones are--they have to in order to survive.
So let me recap:
People who hold auditions have to deal with actors who suck but think they are good, people who are weary of scam artists, and they have to decide whether or not they are getting into something with questionable morals. Oh, did I mention that by very nature of acting, they are likely to have emotional problems and that makes them very fragile?

So over the years they've developed a system where they are very brutal, (picture simon cowel on american idol) and they are very demanding, and the competition is high (but in reality it's just like any other job: there are 90 lowlifes for ever 10 people you would compete with, and in acting those 10 get eliminated not by skill but by whether or not they look the part).
Mix it all together and fragile, over-dramatic people who are often flakey and unreliable (those 90 lowlifes only do it because they see it as their last resort to getting a job) and these people are all told they need to compete with one another because that's what you do with a job. So some things are said, feeligns are hurt, audition holders get frustrated after sitting through person after person and they get very skilled at seeing through the low lifes.

When someone comes along who is really worth the time and effort they're willing to sign papers and put them through training. --Training, that's right. The reason why the acting level doesn't matter as much as the "look" of the actor (it's more than just physical looks, but that's a good term) is because if they have average acting skills they can be put through training over the next few months--paid for of course by the studio--and they become better.

Now this isn't true for British acting (case in point Harry Potter) but British cinema is a little different from American cinema, and I'm not quite sure why they do it the way they do it. Sometimes they get great actors, other times they get cheezy actors who belong in british comedies and not the big screen. American Cinema has the money and the means to teach up and coming stars how to really act. And even when that fails they have the most talented directors in the world to give further coaching so that the actor does exactly like they are supposed to.

Again: getting a job as an actor isn't hard--provided there is a movie being made that you fit perfectly. The only hard thing about it is that in order to succeed you have to jump when the sargent says jump and you have to shoot when the director says shoot. (I'm telling you, in a lot of cases it's just like joining the military, only harder to get into)

The Ethos of a Film Maker

When I awoke this day I didn't imagine how many emails would be flooding my inbox. I put out an advertisement for my film company saying that I'm starting to look for the lead actors in a short film I will be doing at the end of summer. After spending a good 3 hours responding to emails and sending out important ones to mobilize my crew members (though really getting into the details of things with crew members will be further down the process), I took a break and stepped into the bathroom to freshen up (whenever I'm sick I like to obsess over keeping clean) and I looked into the mirror and for the first time in my life it actually sunk in with me that I am a legitimate film maker.

In the past I've always fought with it trying to convince myself that I am a film maker and then trying to convince other people that I am a film maker as well. But for some reason the last two projects I've worked on have qualified me or something. Now, I have the proper ethos that a film maker has, and I can persuade people to believe that I am one.

Let me explain my last two projects: Last year I worked on a project that I called "the 2010 portfolio project" which was supposed to be larger than it ended up being, but it was all based on things I had little control over. I wrote up a bunch of one page, one scene scripts with a beginning middle and end and I got in touch with a bunch of actors to see if I couldn't find a good one for each of the scripts. They were unrelated to one another and their only purpose was to be presentable enough to show that I am a film director and here is my style. I believe I came up with 5 scripts, but when it came time to cast them, I wasn't satisfied with a lot of the applicants, and as is often the case, a lot of them flaked out (I'll probably make a post some other day about the nature of actors and people who claim they are actors). Anyway, I scheduled two of the scripts: The Swamp Witch and The Double Agent. I finished that project, it was fun, it fulfilled it's purpose, it now resides on my website where people can look at it.
I also, last minute, decided to work on the Spot On competition that the Utah Film Commission puts on every year. I got bored of sitting around and was hankering to start a film project and figured I would enter that contest simply because it gave me something to do and it gave me something to talk about.


From both of those films last year I met quite a few people and I built up a network of film related individuals. I've also learned a few tricks about finding people and over that time period I also developed a pile of resumes from actors and models who I could call on specifically and inform them about casting calls I put out.

Long story short, I think whatever I'm doing is working because I usually end up satisfied with the talent I pull up and get to work with. So today when I looked at myself in the mirror, I was thinking about how my methods for finding actors is different from other film makers (often times they are unorganized and do a cattle call casting call and get all sorts of people, aren't very specific about what they want, and they end up with a poor selection--that is, IF they do a casting call, a lot of them just pick their friends who are often poor actors and such is the life of crapy B-rated movies) and then I was like: well hey, if it works don't change the process.
And it donned on me that I was a film maker and that I'm in charge of telling this story and so really I'm in control of all aspects of it and people need to cater to me now because what I do works whether they want to be a part of it or not. (as in...those people who don't want to do the interview the way I do it, or the people who think it's easier to go to a dry casting call, they probably aren't going to fulfill the part the way I need them to because they won't do it my way) The end.

Rhetoric is so influential. It got me out of a ticket the other day. It also lets me work with the wonderful actors I have worked with in the past. Further proof that being able to communicate effectively is the best skill out there.

Parking Ticket

BIG NEWS:
Remember this post: ?

Well I just got the response back as Follows:

The appeals committee reviewed your appeal on March 7th, 2011 and after
careful consideration your appeal has been approved. No further action is
necessary.

Have a great day,
Tanner Morrell
Parking Authority

That makes me happy :)

The following is the letter I sent them, full of expert rhetoric:

2/25/2011
Dear Appeals Committee,

I recently received a ticket for parking on the street on 24 February 2011. I would like to make a request that this ticket be repealed based on my circumstances: I have been unemployed for the last 11 months, 9 of which have been while living here in this great city of Logan, Utah. During the night of the 23rd, I would have normally parked in my apartment complex’s parking lot however the lot was filled over-capacity and beyond safe limits, leaving me few options for parking safely and in the common interest of other residents. Under my circumstances I have had to resort to desperate measures in order to pay my bills and survive and therefore cannot afford this ticket.
Old Farm Student Housing, where I live on 777E 1000N, Logan, UT, is notorious for having a crammed parking lot. The management gives out more parking passes than they have parking spaces, which, although it is unethical, they are able to get away with it. During the morning of the 24th I pulled into the parking lot at 1:20AM and proceeded to seek out a parking spot. To my surprise, not only were all of the regular parking spots filled, but all of the channels and driveways through the parking lot to the entrances and exits were blocked off by residents’ cars. In order to even leave the parking lot I had to make a 15 point turnaround in front of the garbage cans.
Recently, my land lord announced that they will no longer be giving parking tickets to violators of our parking code and that instead, “all parking violations will be booted”. With that in mind, I was left with two options for parking: Park in the middle of the parking lot, thereby blocking a minimum of 10 cars and the garbage cans, which would likely result in a boot being placed on my car or worse. I was placed in a catch-22 situation: I would either be booted from parking in the lot, or ticketed for parking on the street.
Knowing I could not afford to have my car impounded, I checked the weather and realized it was not snowing that night, nor would it be snowing until late in the evening on the 24th, up to 20 hours later. I weighed my options and although it was frustrating to be trapped by the laws that should be helping me and my neighbors, I chose to park on the street after ensuring that it would be reasonably safe, would not cause harm to other people, and that I would not interfere with the general maintenance of the public road. Thirty minutes after I had parked my car just outside of the Old Farm parking lot, it was recorded that I received ticket #78605380 at 2:01AM 24 Feb 2011.
Seeing as how I have been unemployed for the past 11 months, and I have even resorted to extreme measures just so that I could feed myself, including donating plasma at the local Biomat Grifols, I would like to make a request that my fine be waved and my ticket repealed by the committee.
I thank you for your consideration of my request, I will be eternally grateful if you extend your support to one of the unemployed of Logan City,

Kyle Oakeson

--After re-reading this I realize there are actually quite a few signs that I wrote this while I Was tired...for instance some of the tenses are incorrect from how I normally write, but who cares?

<3 Thanks Logan City!

All I want is sleep

You never realize how much you appreciate sleep until you can't have it. My body on the other hand is getting a lot of sleep since I am on spring break, but I want to sleep more and my body doesn't. I've been waking up at 8 or 9 (which is when I wake up on a normal day) and I sit in bed for just long enough to realize I'm wide awake and I'm not doing anything. That's when I get out of bed and ready for the day.

On a normal day I would be complaining that I don't -get- to sleep because I have school and appointments to go to, I suppose I shouldn't say anything from here on out because my body is conditioned to wake up that early.

All through growing up I would wake up at 6:30 so that I could take my time getting ready and off to school at 8. When I went to my first semester of college I took classes at 7:30 which required me to wake up at 6 (I'm slow to get ready). I did the mission routine and got used to waking up that early (It's sad, but I already forgot at what time they make you wake up...probably because it was later than 6am like I was used to).

These days I've found it easier to work later in the night and stay up as late as 2am but I get less sleep because I wake up at 8 (six hours?) And what's most interesting is that I'm not suffering from it, in fact, I kinda feel like I have finally reached the right amount of energy.

All through my mission I had problems getting to be right at 1030 or whenever...I'd lay in bed for hours tossing and turning until I'd fall asleep. The moment I got home I told myself there was no point in wasting that valuable time from 1030-200 and so started my sleeping habits.

I'm telling you, my body works wonderfully at this schedule even though I might complain about it. Sure, I think it would be a lot nicer to sleep till 8:30 or 9 and that extra hour of sleep in the morning would be nice. But 8 seems to be okay.

Truth be told, my body definitely needs sleep, but it's questionable just how much.

Sick day

I spaced writing in this blog. Whoops! I will call it a sick day I guess. My voice is getting better at least!

Speaking

You never realize how much you need your eyes, ears, or in my case, mouth until you can't use them anymore.

I lost my voice yesterday night after recording a session in the recording studio. Since then I realized how often my family speaks to me and I give them simple answers throughout the day. I speak quite often actually. I take that one for granted.
However, even though I haven't been able to verbally say anything all day, (I probably can now, I think my voice is back) I have been chatting to quite a few people over the phone and internet all day long. It's interesting because I almost speak more over my phone than I do in person--just because I'm not always around people to speak to them.

I'm going to keep this short because I have some people I need to talk to: truth of the day? You never know how much you appreciate something until it's gone.

Pop Music

There is a lot of science that goes into "pop" music, or music that reaches a mass audience. It's all about marketing, sure, and the concept is that instead of having a targeted audience they have a broad audience or multiple targets, but it's actually pretty complex.

Some people think it's as simple as auto-tuning and tweaking all of your music, but it requires balancing all publicity (case in point Kanye West, who tweets and makes a big show of everything) to writing the perfect lyrics that appeal to just about everyone (usually highly emotional lyrics). Why do you think pop music is so focused on sex with women? --Cause pop culture today is about sex with women: women find thinking about sex appealing and men obviously find talking about sex appealing. In fact, there has been a trend of famous women coming out and admitting that they have had sexual encounters with other women (gaga, fergie, etc.) My point is, pop music is all about marketing. The trend these days is to feature artists together (eminiem ft. lil'wayne. B.o.B. ft. Haley Williams. etc.) The reason they do this is not because they think it would be cool (although Kanye West might think that is the case) but because it draws in a crowd to support their favorite artist. What that means is that even though you don't like Haley Williams, you'll buy the song because you like B.o.B. or Eminiem.

Just in one paragraph I've convinced you that pop music is a little more complex than just writing a song and playing it. It's all about making money and doing so through proper marketing.

Social Networking, Changing Marketing

Over the last few years, social networking has taken off as THE marketing tool. I obviously enjoy it since I am an active blogger.
It's free, it's easy, but yet there is a science to it. I will admit that I am pretty lazy with this blog on using it as a marketing tool. For starters I don't understand who my audience is--I assume it's just me and a few close friends and stalkers. I also don't have much of a purpose for this other than my own personal purposes: I like to have a place where I can just write about whatever I want.
But just because few people read this doesn't mean I'm not going to do it. I learned a long time ago that if I wanted to survive in life and not go crazy, I would need to have a few hobbies that I merely did for fun.
Using this blog helps me to voice my thoughts in a restricted way because I'm not going to write anything that I find so extreme that I would be uncomfortable with other people reading it.--once I hit publish, this is out in the world for anyone to read!

Short term relationships, really? Seriously?

Although I write in my other blog about the short-term relationships and how they are possible and can be done ethically, what I don't tell people if that...not really...

I mean, you can have a short term relationship in which you are both only interested in short-term activities, but it isn't going to be satisfying for you. You can also do it ethically with full consent and numerous other things, but in reality, the minor habits and behaviors that it would require in order to pull it off in that way would bug the heck out of every living person. There is also the fact that the closer you get to people, the more attached to you they become. Which basically means that you will be very very unhappy when you become separated.
If the purpose of a short-term relationship is to fulfill certain short-term needs, well then a short-term relationship in it's most idealistic form doesn't really exist. The short-term relationships that are possible for a person in this life are so warped and confusing that instead of fulfilling your core of essential needs they create more needs than they fulfill--if they fulfill any at all!

It is rather bothersome to me when I hear or observe people going down that road. I know how much unhappiness it can bring to them and I wish I could shake them and tell them to snap out of it, but they never listen.

These same people also tend to gain the loudest voice when they complain about the world and how the world can't fix all their problems and there is no hope for them. It is sad to see this because it all starts on that slippery slope argument that: its okay to have friends who are almost my boyfriend but not really because I'm not interested in dating anyone at this time. Therefore...



If I could go back and rewrite that article, I would expose everything wrong with short-term dating, in fact, I was about to publish the article that way but retracted it. The reason I phrased it the way I did is because the people who will benefit most from my dating blog are the people who refuse to date, are too proud to date (either because they think they know everything, or think that it's beneath them), and the people who are scared and uncomfortable dating.--consequently, these same people are also the ones who are interested in having short-term relationships, even though they are destructive to them. I have an article planned to further emphasize the importance of this issue, but it will be a while coming, and I would rather people continue reading my blog because they were interested in that first article they read that really related to them, whether it is the short-term one or the one on marriage, than I would have them scared away from reading a chastizement of their behavior in the first article they read.

How do I know all of these things? Because I've been down that road. I've had "short-term" relationships and I've had what were long-term relationships that happened to end. I remember the long term ones and still appreciate having been in them. I also remember the short-term ones and feel disgusted by them and wish they never happened. They literally made my life worse. I've learned from them though and that's why I became a dating coach: to share with people the things I know so that they don't go through a lot of the mistakes it took me just to learn this stuff.

I could fix you if you would let me

I'm a fairly empathetic person--i feel bad when people get into situations that I have ever been in before, though I have one clause to that statement: they have to be attempting to get beyond the situation and progressing, otherwise if they are just being miserable I don't feel for them because I have always tried to get out of situations I didn't like.
In any case, I feel there are a lot of things that I have done in my life and so I often find it easy to relate to people.
But there is always one side effect to being this way. I get really frustrated with people at times because I have a solution that will fix or aid them in their problem and yet I feel as though a lot of my advice and help is rejected on account of my poor persuasion powers at the tone of delivery.

Sometimes i think it might just be my ethos that I don't portray correctly to send people the message that "look, I've been there done that", or perhaps people look at other areas of my life and think: "why would I trust him, he's kinda shady?" I would hope the persuasion is on the fault of my character and not because I failed to persuade with a good verbal argument; although I hate that my questionable character at times could prevent people from believing what I have to say. Quintillion was right a good life is more persuasive than any verbal argument.

With that in mind I think I'm going to expand this blog to also include small anecdotes and thoughts of mine (it already does that), so that there is a public place of record of my life and hopefully that record will help me to be persuasive with other things.

And to start it all off, I want to say that I have always had good intentions. --If good intentions was all that it took to be ethical, I'd be the tops; but life isn't that easy. I'm a utilitarian, as I said previously, and if it doesn't bring more good for more people then your intentions fall pretty flat. But I think it's important to note that I get very moral when I am the cause of bad things, and often times those bad effects or the possible bad effects, deter me from doing a lot of things until I can prove that they'll be more good than bad.


I would honestly love to spend my life devoted to helping other people. If I can find a way to make a living at it I definitely will do it, but it's a matter of making money doing it because I just don't see it as very beneficial to large amounts of people if I am unable to take care of myself and have to have other people take care of me so that I can take care of them.--kinda goes against the tribal system doesn't it? (shamans, medicine men, chiefs, etc. staying at home sending others to do the hunting for them so that they can help the people with other things) We did after all get away from the tribal system when technology advanced, so I assume it's generally a good thing.

What make$ the World Go round?

I didn't mention this, and maybe tomorrow I'll write about it (note to self): Not all exchanges are equal. Sometimes one person gets a better deal than the other person. Discounts are like that: people give you 50% off because they know you'll do other things with that as well, such as purchase more products (more money for them), get rid of their excess supply (liquidate it), or become a return customer, or even just come to the store in the first place--my point is, even though there are "discounts" there are also things going on behind the surface that you don't see and yet somewhat make up for what looks like a rip off.


Now apply that to me going around to get desserts: Well, let me just say that I'm more loyal to people who have given me desserts and so when it comes time to lay the blame one someone I avoid those people. I also tend to be more inclined to aid people who have helped me in the past. Politicians do it too when they accept campaign donations and etc. etc. --Is it fair? Not always. Can it be avoided? Always.

I will DEFINITELY explain that one tomorrow!

--I made this comment yesterday as an afterthought to my previous post.

Now I'm going to explain what I believe to be true about discounts and trades, as well as the ethics behind paying and accepting bribes.


Discounts occur when someone sells or trades something at a lesser value than it is worth. For starters, you should never give REAL discounts. You shouldn't ever sell or trade anything at a lesser value than it is worth, you should always try to get the exact value of it's worth. Why? Because there's this principle that I call "the principle behind energy". Energy can't be destroyed, when energy disappears it is merely transferring into another form of energy. What about power? --Well power is kinda the same way: it's there, it's just a matter of where it is. When you use power, you're trading something for another thing. What about money? --Same thing, money doesn't ever get destroyed, but where does it flow?

So in order for the world to be fair, we would need perfectly balanced trades. In an ideal world people would pay for products based on their worth: value of the product, the scarcity of the product, the emotional attachment to the product, etc. So when you sell for less, someone benefits from it who doesn't deserve it. --HOWEVER. Most of the time discounts ARE given to products at their exact price because the extra 25% on a 25% discount goes towards the store paying YOU to shop in their store, it goes towards YOU being loyal to them. See, it goes towards other things even though it's a discount. But it's important to understand this, because sometimes people honestly sell things for less than they are worth and they really aren't getting anything from it.

More frequently though, people get things for free that they don't deserve. This is where it becomes incredibly tricky to track the exchange of money or power or whatever: when people give me dessert, are they buying a loyal and beneficial friend or are they giving a hand out to someone who doesn't deserve it?

I try to pay back every good deed people give me as best as I possibly can. I try to be the best friend I possibly can to people who give me things. I really do. Does it always happen?>>no, not always, but I hope those same people get things from me that I make the mistake of giving out for free.

This actually brings up an interesting concept: In what way is it ethical to hoard (and use) all free and cheap things? Well, if you're a utilitarian, as I claim to be, if you take things for free that you need and it allows you to give more free things to other people, then theoretically that would be true. However, it would be incredibly hard to keep track of that. --I would say this is a loophole because it is in fact a true statement and it is a good philosophy to run on in life (I buy into this). But because of the complexity of it, it would be deathly hard to prove the ethics of it, and if someone simply lived their life to not take free hand outs they could be certain of their ethics.
The trouble with loop-holes is that at some point in the loop you have to stop caring and just do it.



Now on to my explanation of bribes and campaign donations. I'll keep this brief: Any kind of donation is perfectly acceptable as long as the donation goes to what the person donating expects it to (the person receiving it is ethical about their use of donation funds) and as long as it is something ethical for them to donate to (meaning it's on a case by case basis). You donate to the starving kids in africa fund because you expect it to help pay for food for those kids. You donate to a politician's campaign because you expect it to help them be elected either because you like the guy, like what he's going to do in office, or whatever.
It is perfectly ethical to use money to trade for things you want, including donations (which are actually just trade offs that you don't see the immediate effect of).



Ahh...such makes the world go round: trading, Buying, selling, true capitalism, gifting, donating, bartering, it's all the same.

If life wasn't this way we'd be in terrible trouble because nothing would be fair (free handouts are not fair and disrupt the system, therefore communism isn't fair, socialism and social systems aren't always fair either).