Although I write in my other blog about the short-term relationships and how they are possible and can be done ethically, what I don't tell people if that...not really...
I mean, you can have a short term relationship in which you are both only interested in short-term activities, but it isn't going to be satisfying for you. You can also do it ethically with full consent and numerous other things, but in reality, the minor habits and behaviors that it would require in order to pull it off in that way would bug the heck out of every living person. There is also the fact that the closer you get to people, the more attached to you they become. Which basically means that you will be very very unhappy when you become separated.
If the purpose of a short-term relationship is to fulfill certain short-term needs, well then a short-term relationship in it's most idealistic form doesn't really exist. The short-term relationships that are possible for a person in this life are so warped and confusing that instead of fulfilling your core of essential needs they create more needs than they fulfill--if they fulfill any at all!
It is rather bothersome to me when I hear or observe people going down that road. I know how much unhappiness it can bring to them and I wish I could shake them and tell them to snap out of it, but they never listen.
These same people also tend to gain the loudest voice when they complain about the world and how the world can't fix all their problems and there is no hope for them. It is sad to see this because it all starts on that slippery slope argument that: its okay to have friends who are almost my boyfriend but not really because I'm not interested in dating anyone at this time. Therefore...
If I could go back and rewrite that article, I would expose everything wrong with short-term dating, in fact, I was about to publish the article that way but retracted it. The reason I phrased it the way I did is because the people who will benefit most from my dating blog are the people who refuse to date, are too proud to date (either because they think they know everything, or think that it's beneath them), and the people who are scared and uncomfortable dating.--consequently, these same people are also the ones who are interested in having short-term relationships, even though they are destructive to them. I have an article planned to further emphasize the importance of this issue, but it will be a while coming, and I would rather people continue reading my blog because they were interested in that first article they read that really related to them, whether it is the short-term one or the one on marriage, than I would have them scared away from reading a chastizement of their behavior in the first article they read.
How do I know all of these things? Because I've been down that road. I've had "short-term" relationships and I've had what were long-term relationships that happened to end. I remember the long term ones and still appreciate having been in them. I also remember the short-term ones and feel disgusted by them and wish they never happened. They literally made my life worse. I've learned from them though and that's why I became a dating coach: to share with people the things I know so that they don't go through a lot of the mistakes it took me just to learn this stuff.
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