I live
100 hours
Each night
Waiting
For that sun to rise--
--The moment that it sets.
I can't sleep
I can't eat
I shake
I feel pain
But I know the end is far off
Like a twitch in code
that keeps repeating
because of some error
I'm broken
so I keep repeating
and I can't get passed that one line
The endstop
I want to sleep
to escape
but I can't sleep
and it haunts me
all night
until dawn
when I finally sleep
those demons can't catch me
But when I wake
I have less time
to do what needs to be done
And somehow I get it all done
in less time
Somehow
And then the sun sets...
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Saturday, December 17, 2016
What I want to do with my life
I'm still trying to put into words what I want to get out of life....It's a good thing I have longevitous genes and a lack of health problems in my family line because I think I'll need to live to be 100 to figure it out for certain.
Along the way to where I am now, I think I have figured out a few things that I definitely want to do with my life and they are:
- I want to teach people to Love. Really love from deep within and to connect with one another, to feel connected to friends, family and community. I desperately want to devote my life to this cause, though the sheer size of this feat is overwhelming and thus far I've only taken it one day at a time.
- I want to teach people that we are all human. When I made the realization that everything that the whole world was telling me about itself was just a facade used to hide what really goes on, I came to a few hard conclusions about human beings. I learned that nearly everyone who exists does not operate on what they want, they operate on what they don't want. Only a few select people go after what they want, the rest run away from what they don't want or run towards things that they think will bring them closer to what they want only to realize that it isn't what they want. Nearly Everyone is doing this. They work towards retirement because they are too scared to do those things today. They work for an employer because they are too scared to work for themselves. They go to church and pray because they are too scared to go out in the world and solve their own problems on their own. They waste so many hours each day worry about what they have no control over and hoping things will happen that they have no control over. Yet, as pathetic as all of this sounds, they have the potential to change their mindset and work for things that they really want--not things that they think they want, like money or fame or power, but the love of others, peaceful moments of rest, exciting moments of work, entertaining wholesome moments with friends, and compassionate acts for others.
The very few people I have found who are able to focus on these important things are the ones who are happiest with their lives, most content, and most optimistic about the future--even often with the worst things happening to them. And I want to teach people about this and how we are all equal. When you throw out the things that don't matter, you realize that people who are wealthy are running from the same things that people who are poor are. You realize that talented artists are only talented because they put the time in--and had the time to put in--not because they are so very different but because they are devoted. You realize that everyone who is better than you is no different from you regardless of where they were born, what their skin color is, what their likes and dislikes are--none of that is relevant. What's relevant is that we are all capable of having those simple things that we really deep down want, but because we are human we get sidetracked from them and go after things that aren't what we want even though they may appear to lead to what we want. - I want to live independently. I want to be free. I don't care about money if it means I have to be tied down to using money, I don't want to work for someone else if it means I can't walk away at any time. I want to maintain my ability to choose, so that when I choose, I am fully committed.
I hope to add to this list some day, but I think that's a pretty extensive list and will keep me occupited for many many years .
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Yet another thing that bogs society down...
People really don't know how to love, do they?
Is that because they don't know what love is, or is it because they don't know how to give it?
Love is simple. Here, try this formula:
Mutual respect + quality time together + care and concern for their well being + follow through on commitments + taking risk and making an investment in them + forgiveness = Love.
❤️
The more you can respect people, the more they will feel loved. If you couple that with quality time together, they'll feel loved. When you worry about their well being, they'll feel like you love them. When you make commitments to them and then you follow through on this commitments, they'll feel it. When you put yourself on the line for them, they'll feel it. When you have no other motivations and yet you still forgive them, they'll feel it. And the more of these inputs you can give to other people, the more they will feel loved.
But perhaps that's not good enough for most people and they want to know what love is, not how to love.
Love is so simple it can be summed up to a single sentence:
Love is desiring a bright, successful future for another to the point of going out of the way to assist them in creating that future.
Still not enough?
Why complicate love? Love doesn't need to become an amalgamation of many things. Love is at the very root of all of those things that people think are love and yet over complicate it.
Yes, love is desirable; in fact, love is the most desirable thing in the universe. Love is what everyone returns to when they need to regain solid grounding in their life. Love can overcome any human will or desire. Love even has the ability to matter more than individual existence--Yes, people die from love and for the sake of love.
We all want love, especially those people who have hardened and built up walls and pretend that love is irrelevant in their life.
It is holiday season and I think it's time that we as a human race devote ourselves to loving more.
Love everyone, but especially love the people who are important to you. They need to feel loved now more than ever. They need it desperately because they need more examples to live by. If not for the rest of your life, please just love until the end of the year. Reach out to people and love mankind enough to long for a better future for humanity.
I love you. Thank you for listening, you're a good person.
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Capitalism and the Minimum Wage Revisted
I know I posted an article a while back that was PRO raising the minimum wage, but I think enough time has passed for me to revisit that idea. --Actually, at teh moment I can't find where my article went, so maybe I started to write it and changed my mind. The gist of that argument was that if we raised the minimum wage now, there would be a temporary period where the market needs to catch up. During that time period people would be able to catch up on their expenses and hopefully cut down expenses for when the market caught up to the new wage. --I didn't at the time think that it was a long-term solution, but it could potentally solve some short-term problems that drag down the long-term.
One drawback I imediately saw to the article was the timing of it, so that might be why I deleted it and never posted it: The economy has improved. Not only statistically, but I can see a lot of things that are different now that make me optimistic about getting a job if ever I need one. When I was young (in 2007) and couldn't find a job that would pay the bills, I complained. But now that I'm older and more stabilized, I realize that I can live on so much less (we're talking $300/mo + rent). I realize that rent is relative, because right now I cost-share my rent between 2 other people and 1/3rd comes down to about $450. It's an awesome setup, close to the freeway and downtown shopping, low crime, great area all around, but I also realize if I Wanted more I would have to pay more...like if I didn't want 2 roommates I could get a place for 2x as much ($900 would cover a 1 bed 1 bath dog friendly place I bet). Either way, 900 + 300 or 450+300 = 750 - 1200 ---I don't like putting this out there to the world, but in order to make a point I guess I have to get a little personal now and again. 1200/mo divided by 4 weeks a month 40 hours a week comes down to $7.50/ hour, which is close to the minimum wage.
Of course, I'm not working at the minimum wage, nor am I working 40 hours a week, because I've managed to streamline my processes and become efficient in making money. I work maybe 20 hours a week if that and often debate if I should be looking for more work or not when I'm comfortable and happy and the funny thing is that maybe 16 hours of that is spent at a low paying job that I could easily replace but choose not to because I like it there. My stress level is at an all time low when it comes to my financial concerns, and that is what makes me think that the economy is good again--well, that and the fact that I have several job offers on the table right now, all of which pay more than $7.50/hr (haha)
Even still, there is some hubub about raising the minimum wage going around, and I think I need to revisit my original PRO stance for it. Aside from it not being the right time to raise the minimum wage, I think we need to consider that the problem is not with the minimum wage. The problem is with the rising inflating dollar. --Our cost of living has risen due to changes to western culture (the need to have a cell phone now for example), and the rising cost of rent and other expenses.
Rent has been rising for what I see as two reasons: market demand, and capitalization. When the demand for rental units rose from 2007 and people opted not to own their own homes or could not afford to, capitalists swooped in and bought up the rental market and started renting it out. In other words, if you survived 2007 you decided to invest in real estate rentals because of the assumption that everyone will need to rent at some point in time. Rentals charge more than houses do because of the cost + profit model of pricing (you buy an investment, you want to make money, so you charge what it cost you [i.e. your mortgage or the lack of money you suddenly have] plus you tack on some profit.) Automatically, if you are renting, you are paying the mortgage of another plus some, so if you could afford to get the mortgage yourself, you would be cutting back expenses. That's how capitalism works: you pay the loan on the equipment to produce the goods, plus some for profit.
The other reason rentals are so high is the variablilty of these capitalists--some are paying more on the mortgage and if you have a better loan, you are essentially more efficently making money, so why not charge the same price as your competitor who has a comparable rental and net more profit?
Rent is maybe the biggest expense of everyone when it comes to cost of living. In other words, if you can lower the cost of rent, the cost of living with definitely go down. So instead of raising the minimum wage, wouldn't another alternative be to lower the cost of rent? Maybe the federal government could offer refinancing options to landlords who meet a certain criteria, part of which includes the agreement to lower rent for X years?
More on this later....
**************************88888
One drawback I imediately saw to the article was the timing of it, so that might be why I deleted it and never posted it: The economy has improved. Not only statistically, but I can see a lot of things that are different now that make me optimistic about getting a job if ever I need one. When I was young (in 2007) and couldn't find a job that would pay the bills, I complained. But now that I'm older and more stabilized, I realize that I can live on so much less (we're talking $300/mo + rent). I realize that rent is relative, because right now I cost-share my rent between 2 other people and 1/3rd comes down to about $450. It's an awesome setup, close to the freeway and downtown shopping, low crime, great area all around, but I also realize if I Wanted more I would have to pay more...like if I didn't want 2 roommates I could get a place for 2x as much ($900 would cover a 1 bed 1 bath dog friendly place I bet). Either way, 900 + 300 or 450+300 = 750 - 1200 ---I don't like putting this out there to the world, but in order to make a point I guess I have to get a little personal now and again. 1200/mo divided by 4 weeks a month 40 hours a week comes down to $7.50/ hour, which is close to the minimum wage.
Of course, I'm not working at the minimum wage, nor am I working 40 hours a week, because I've managed to streamline my processes and become efficient in making money. I work maybe 20 hours a week if that and often debate if I should be looking for more work or not when I'm comfortable and happy and the funny thing is that maybe 16 hours of that is spent at a low paying job that I could easily replace but choose not to because I like it there. My stress level is at an all time low when it comes to my financial concerns, and that is what makes me think that the economy is good again--well, that and the fact that I have several job offers on the table right now, all of which pay more than $7.50/hr (haha)
Even still, there is some hubub about raising the minimum wage going around, and I think I need to revisit my original PRO stance for it. Aside from it not being the right time to raise the minimum wage, I think we need to consider that the problem is not with the minimum wage. The problem is with the rising inflating dollar. --Our cost of living has risen due to changes to western culture (the need to have a cell phone now for example), and the rising cost of rent and other expenses.
Rent has been rising for what I see as two reasons: market demand, and capitalization. When the demand for rental units rose from 2007 and people opted not to own their own homes or could not afford to, capitalists swooped in and bought up the rental market and started renting it out. In other words, if you survived 2007 you decided to invest in real estate rentals because of the assumption that everyone will need to rent at some point in time. Rentals charge more than houses do because of the cost + profit model of pricing (you buy an investment, you want to make money, so you charge what it cost you [i.e. your mortgage or the lack of money you suddenly have] plus you tack on some profit.) Automatically, if you are renting, you are paying the mortgage of another plus some, so if you could afford to get the mortgage yourself, you would be cutting back expenses. That's how capitalism works: you pay the loan on the equipment to produce the goods, plus some for profit.
The other reason rentals are so high is the variablilty of these capitalists--some are paying more on the mortgage and if you have a better loan, you are essentially more efficently making money, so why not charge the same price as your competitor who has a comparable rental and net more profit?
Rent is maybe the biggest expense of everyone when it comes to cost of living. In other words, if you can lower the cost of rent, the cost of living with definitely go down. So instead of raising the minimum wage, wouldn't another alternative be to lower the cost of rent? Maybe the federal government could offer refinancing options to landlords who meet a certain criteria, part of which includes the agreement to lower rent for X years?
More on this later....
**************************88888
Sunday, December 11, 2016
What a Dime Piece wants
Imagine, for a moment, that you have lots of money, that you were born with good looks, honed charm, and lots of friends.
Now, still imagining, what more would you want in life?
General consensus would say that you "want what you can't have," but that isn't true with most people in that situation--or at least not entirely true.
When most people find wealth, they turn to things that comfort them: drugs, pet projects, even prostitutes. Some people take up gambling because it makes them feel in control, others take up investments and figurative roles as head of X or Y because then they can feel like they are a part of something. Furthermore, the extremely wealthy preoccupy their lives with "cheap company"; they buy friendships and they even buy sex, usually coupled with other things like drugs and parties. --But what can you learn from this?
When a person suddenly has supposed unlimited power due to the things they possess (money, fame, good looks, etc) they don't really change much. They still go after their root passions and seek to fulfill their needs just like less powerful people do--or even how they did before amassing such power. They still try to get over boredom, but they do it in a different way. They still seek respect, a sense of belonging, or responsibility for life; even if they don't realize that these are the things they are striving for.
The next time you see someone who, in your mind, is a perfect 10, just remember that they are a person too. Whatever could you provide them that they don't already have? Why should they be with you? What sets you above the rest?
--These are just people! They still want excitement; they still want companionship. They want to be happy, and respected, and loved.
If you had what they have, would any of those things mean anything to you? Would money mean anything to you if you had an unlimited supply? Would beauty mean anything to you if you were full of natural beauty? If you had a lot of charm and charisma, would you really care about being around charismatic people? No. No No NO. You would not. You would be looking for that one person who has what you're really looking for.
One great mystery of life is that people really do want what they don't already have. Nothing you do can change that for them. People who obsess over being beautiful only do so because they are not naturally beautiful. If you try to show them you too are endowed with great looks, you will only make them jealous, insecure, or weak. This is because you will put on a facade that you somehow have what they do not have and their comparison to you will only make them feel disgusting inside.
The true thing that someone who is perfect wants, deep down, are the things that anybody wants: peace, happiness, safety, respect, and most importantly, Love. Show people that you are fully capable of loving them and they will give up their money, their fame, their beauty, their whatever they have, because, isn't that what we all really want?
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
I'm taking the bulk of my thesis information and logic from this community reddit post: https://m.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1lr2jt/an_open_letter_to_single_mothers/
Reasons single men should not [seriously] date single mothers:
Reasons single men should not [seriously] date single mothers:
- You will never be the main priority
- She doesn't have a good track record with relationships
- Another Man (the baby-daddy) will be your master
- You are held financially responsible for her children
- She'll have a higher expectation for you than she did her ex
- There are better options out there
First of all, you can't be the same priority level as she is to you. If she has one kid, then kid A has priority over herself who has priority over you. If she has two kids, Kid A has priority and Kid B has priority and then she has priority and then you are the next in line of her priorities. Whereas you are your number one priority followed by her being your second priority. If she puts it any other way, then she's probably not a good mom--or a good person, and you shouldn't date her anyway.
Second, there is a reason she's single. If she was divorced, it's a sign she didn't or couldn't work things out. If she was never married, then she was irresponsible somewhere along the way. The same arguments apply towards people who are divorced and why you shouldn't usually date them, but single moms should at least be responsible enough to not have children until they are in a stable enough relationship that it's not going to end.
There are a lot of counter-claims towards this argument, but I think it's fair to say that we don't know why a divorce happens, perhaps it has something to do with a pre-existing fault in both people that surfaced after marriage, in which case, how will you know if they've fixed their faults? Or perhaps it is that she developed bad habits during the relationship that caused unresolved conflicts in the relationship. Or maybe she didn't resolve conflicts. Or maybe she really isn't at fault for the divorce, but she is definitely affected by it. She has a lot of scars from it. She will always have those scars. Marriage is serious business, and divorce is equally serious; you don't walk away from that unchanged.
Want to go out to dinner to celebrate an accomplishment?--Too bad, you have kids and need a sitter. Want to have thanksgiving dinner as a family at your parents? Too bad, her baby daddy has the kids. Want to move out of state? Nope, in some situations the custody agreement bars her from moving more than 100 miles away. Want to go on a family cruise? Nope--don't have baby daddy's written permission to leave the country. --Not all guys are bad, but if she gets remarried, you can bet that he's going to be a source of drama when the kids want to call you their new dad.
Lets say baby daddy doesn't pay child support--where does mom get the money? If your finances are mixed then part of the money comes from your pocket. Your hard labor goes to these children who aren't even yours. If she works, then someone has to pay for a sitter--or YOU become the sitter. If she doesn't work then you definitely pay for it. You see--no matter how you cut the situation you're going to end up paying for these kids with both money, and with time.
Women--people in general--think that after something bad they can only get better, and they apply this to their relationships as well. After a relationship they say that "the next one will be better." After they get divorced and have these kids to take care of they say "I want my next husband to be more X and have more Y and do more Z and be a father to my children and ABCD" They don't say "I hope I find someone just like my ex." They hold you to higher standards than they did their ex, and if you start reacting the same way their ex did (go back and read reason #2) then they hold the same level of animosity towards you that they did their ex, because you're just like him.
Finally, if you're single, you have plenty of options to choose from. Find someone who is single just like you and doesn't have baggage. When placed with the choice of someone single vs someone who has kids, you would always choose the single person because there is much more potential there and the risks are lower. Being a single mom does not make them a better person, they can be just as irresponsible as single-no-children women. And even if they are responsible and make a lot of money and have all of these good traits, there is always some single woman out there who is just as responsible, has as much money and has good traits --but doesn't have children. The only reason to choose a single mom is if you are suddenly off of the market for single women--if there are none left period.
Now, there's no reason you can't be good friends with single moms. And there is no reason why you can't sleep with them. But do not get serious with them and think you're going to have a relationship with them, because of the above reasons.
Monday, November 7, 2016
Allan Watt's Chief Belief
Alan Watt's belief on the universe is that we are all timeless beings that are made up of pure energy. Because of our timelessness, we live multiple lives--birth to death--one at a time until we have experienced every life of every time period. --With that basis of belief, it becomes logical to say that we are all equals (Because we are all the same, just different time-space continuums) and to be accepting of everyone and everything.
It is easy for him to accept that the world is both yin and yang and that's okay, that people are made up of good and bad, that good things happen to bad people and bad things to good people --but the problem is that people apply what he says to their own belief systems and think that they can partially believe that everyone is equal and not that we are in fact the same person on different time-scales.
People who follow Allan Watts and several of these new age thinkers seem to say that the purpose of life is simply to exist. Which in itself is to say that there is no purpose to life, you exist, then you don't exist, you have a purpose then you die and your purpose is lost. --That makes a lot of sense in the atomic world simply because when atoms are connected, they have a purpose--they are more than just a single atom but are instead a chemical compound that makes an impact and therefore has a Use.
But this is the line of thinking that I have to step back from.
Just because something can be used a certain way, does not mean it should be used in that way.
e.g. Guns were created with the purpose of killing people, but not all guns should be used that way, or as my favorite director put it "Good swords are left sharp," i.e. they are never used and therefore never dull.
In other words, just because you think you were born to do something--whatever that may be--does not mean that you are destined to do it or that you should do it.
Furthermore, just because you are made up of energy--atoms, molecules glued together and organized by some mysterious force--does not mean that you are truly timeless. Salt is not Sodium and salt is not Chloride just because it is part sodium part chloride. Our person is not timeless. We are not timeless. Every moment counts. And we are not everyone else.
They say that only when you find out what something is not do you prove. You can never know anything other than what it is not, because the process of knowledge is based on elimination and the variables are infinite. I think I have debunked that theory--or rather that chain of theories is discredited by debunking their premise: that somehow we are energy simply because we are made of energy, and until someone else can come along and provide another valid theory as to why we are timeless beings, I will be left to wonder at that.
It is easy for him to accept that the world is both yin and yang and that's okay, that people are made up of good and bad, that good things happen to bad people and bad things to good people --but the problem is that people apply what he says to their own belief systems and think that they can partially believe that everyone is equal and not that we are in fact the same person on different time-scales.
People who follow Allan Watts and several of these new age thinkers seem to say that the purpose of life is simply to exist. Which in itself is to say that there is no purpose to life, you exist, then you don't exist, you have a purpose then you die and your purpose is lost. --That makes a lot of sense in the atomic world simply because when atoms are connected, they have a purpose--they are more than just a single atom but are instead a chemical compound that makes an impact and therefore has a Use.
But this is the line of thinking that I have to step back from.
Just because something can be used a certain way, does not mean it should be used in that way.
e.g. Guns were created with the purpose of killing people, but not all guns should be used that way, or as my favorite director put it "Good swords are left sharp," i.e. they are never used and therefore never dull.
In other words, just because you think you were born to do something--whatever that may be--does not mean that you are destined to do it or that you should do it.
Furthermore, just because you are made up of energy--atoms, molecules glued together and organized by some mysterious force--does not mean that you are truly timeless. Salt is not Sodium and salt is not Chloride just because it is part sodium part chloride. Our person is not timeless. We are not timeless. Every moment counts. And we are not everyone else.
They say that only when you find out what something is not do you prove. You can never know anything other than what it is not, because the process of knowledge is based on elimination and the variables are infinite. I think I have debunked that theory--or rather that chain of theories is discredited by debunking their premise: that somehow we are energy simply because we are made of energy, and until someone else can come along and provide another valid theory as to why we are timeless beings, I will be left to wonder at that.
Friday, October 28, 2016
Not sure just need someone to talk to.
I'm turning to this because I guess I feel unheard. --or whatever emotions are associated with that.
I perceive myself as a good, benevolent person. I think this mostly because I have no ill motivations, and genuinely have progressive/good-future-making motivations. I don't usually get jealous, I want people to succeed, even if it means they are better than I am. I am also willing to help people succeed as long as they just ask me for help--provided that I can help them.
I think I'm peace motivated--but I focus on long-term peace rather than short term concessions. I want to resolve conflicts with lasting resolutions rather than short-term appeasements. I'm open to anything. Everything is subject to negotiation, everything has a price-tag and if you can figure out what I don't even know about how much I value something or why I value something, you can have it.
So it bugs me whenever people make accusations about me that are negative. They might be true, but they aren't what I perceive, and that makes it difficult to face. I come around eventually--I would come around quickly if I could only see it, but I can't always see it, even when I want to see it.
The way these accusations are presented helps--obviously there are more gentle ways of saying things--but not always. What helps me is being specific. Obviously, I don't want to be these negative things, and telling me that when I do X it causes Y, which is not something I want to be, can put it into perspective for me.
I perceive myself as a good, benevolent person. I think this mostly because I have no ill motivations, and genuinely have progressive/good-future-making motivations. I don't usually get jealous, I want people to succeed, even if it means they are better than I am. I am also willing to help people succeed as long as they just ask me for help--provided that I can help them.
I think I'm peace motivated--but I focus on long-term peace rather than short term concessions. I want to resolve conflicts with lasting resolutions rather than short-term appeasements. I'm open to anything. Everything is subject to negotiation, everything has a price-tag and if you can figure out what I don't even know about how much I value something or why I value something, you can have it.
So it bugs me whenever people make accusations about me that are negative. They might be true, but they aren't what I perceive, and that makes it difficult to face. I come around eventually--I would come around quickly if I could only see it, but I can't always see it, even when I want to see it.
The way these accusations are presented helps--obviously there are more gentle ways of saying things--but not always. What helps me is being specific. Obviously, I don't want to be these negative things, and telling me that when I do X it causes Y, which is not something I want to be, can put it into perspective for me.
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Exploitation System
I've read up briefly on the problem with the current US dollar system and it was described in a unique way:
In other words, by the FED "printing out money" they are allowing the fulfillment of national debt obligations, but only by forcing everyday citizens to need twice as much for their locally inflated prices.
In a very weird way, the federal reserve's method of printing money is more like renegotiating national debts in light of inflation. It is as if I went to my creditor and said, "look, I've paid you X amount of dollars, I owe Y amount of dollars, but could you reconsider my X as valued higher simply because you have greater purchasing power with that X now than you did back a few years ago?
On a more macro level, I think countries are stupidly agreeing to this kind of negotiation and still accepting international bonds because in an equally bizarre way, their currency goes up when the $USD inflates--again, they agree to this simply because their purchasing power goes up because of it.
All of this happens on a massively large scale with no accountability for the micro level (surprise surprise, just like everything else in our human existence from overuse of pesticides, polluting the ocean through dumping of waste, killing off the bison, etc)
But, pause for a second because credit needs to be given where credit is due (no pun intended): what this kind of "renegotiation" really does is create a buffer for $USD expenditures and purchases. Put another way, it postpones international inflation from affecting US markets. (postpones, but does not eliminate). In other words, if I conduct international business and I trade $USD for $MXN (Mexican Pesos), I can buy a whole lot more goods for my money, then when the market has blips and bumps in Mexico or China or Japan or Europe, it doesn't hit the U.S. until businesses have had sufficient time to react.
If the USD drops in value to a critical level and the FED "prints more money," (a complicated process that only partly has anything to do with printing and more to do with lending and giving away money), these countries that have split investment in the USD, (Whether because the government has purchased bonds or commodities or international businesses it's the same) benefit by being able to pick and choose which currency is worth more--they can establish new long-term contracts in light of a declining dollar and/or force exchange to their currency, plus they get their USD that were owed when they negotiated the bond.
But this doesn't help the average american. Large international businesses like Walmart, and Apple are going to pocket their profit and not trickle it down to their customers. Oil companies like BP and Shell will raise prices saying that it costs them more to produce the oil, and then make a killing off of the exchanges.
This in turn affects your average american who does not have access to international business--sure, people believe in the lie that they will get their retirement money which is based on investments in international and national businesses, but it is a lie because they don't have control over it. They put all of their money at risk and yet do not control that risk themselves--a broker business or hedgefund manager controls the risk and scoops up the cream of the profits and they give the minimal that they can get away with giving you and when the risks become too high and there are issues and you lose your money in a great recession/depression/whatever, they just blame it on the market and go on their merry way because they already made a killing off of you.
This whole system is exploitation at it's greatest, and everyone turns a blind eye to what they are doing by saying "well, my little exploitation here isn't going to affect the whole system because I;m only a small part of the system" yet EVERYONE is doing it. Everyone is exploiting everyone else.
Brokers make millions of dollars a day on money they don't actually own. Banks make millions of dollars a day on money they don't actually possess. The FED gives away money to big banks on a whim chance that it will improve things. Congress keeps borrowing money that they will never be accountable to pay back (Their terms aren't long enough, first of all, second of all, they rely on the FED to ensure that it gets paid back--and it does!) Businesses exploit their workers by not offering them fair wages. Businesses exploit the government by lobbying for laws to be passed that benefit them at the expense of the american public (healthcare laws I'm looking at you).
The whole human race is disgusting!
If there is some intelligent life out there capable of reading this and doing something about it, please liberate me from what mankind is doing.
It seems our entire species is founded on the exploitation of everything else.
...Consider that there may indeed be "cycles" of or changes in the supply and demand for Pine Boards -- when some new territory is opened to cutting, the supply of boards may increase -- or when a building boom occurs, the demand for pine boards may increase.
But should we allow the "National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST)" to change the definition of a "FOOT" so that we can have the illusion of more "board feet" of pine being available when supplies decrease?
I mean that way, if the "official" length of a foot was cut in half, then lumber mills could still supply the same amount of "board feet" from half the number of trees. But beware -- when you specify lumber for building a house or garage, you will need to then ask for 16ft long boards for the walls (and not 2x4's but rather 4x8's) -- because otherwise you will end up with a really short building!...
In other words, by the FED "printing out money" they are allowing the fulfillment of national debt obligations, but only by forcing everyday citizens to need twice as much for their locally inflated prices.
In a very weird way, the federal reserve's method of printing money is more like renegotiating national debts in light of inflation. It is as if I went to my creditor and said, "look, I've paid you X amount of dollars, I owe Y amount of dollars, but could you reconsider my X as valued higher simply because you have greater purchasing power with that X now than you did back a few years ago?
On a more macro level, I think countries are stupidly agreeing to this kind of negotiation and still accepting international bonds because in an equally bizarre way, their currency goes up when the $USD inflates--again, they agree to this simply because their purchasing power goes up because of it.
All of this happens on a massively large scale with no accountability for the micro level (surprise surprise, just like everything else in our human existence from overuse of pesticides, polluting the ocean through dumping of waste, killing off the bison, etc)
But, pause for a second because credit needs to be given where credit is due (no pun intended): what this kind of "renegotiation" really does is create a buffer for $USD expenditures and purchases. Put another way, it postpones international inflation from affecting US markets. (postpones, but does not eliminate). In other words, if I conduct international business and I trade $USD for $MXN (Mexican Pesos), I can buy a whole lot more goods for my money, then when the market has blips and bumps in Mexico or China or Japan or Europe, it doesn't hit the U.S. until businesses have had sufficient time to react.
If the USD drops in value to a critical level and the FED "prints more money," (a complicated process that only partly has anything to do with printing and more to do with lending and giving away money), these countries that have split investment in the USD, (Whether because the government has purchased bonds or commodities or international businesses it's the same) benefit by being able to pick and choose which currency is worth more--they can establish new long-term contracts in light of a declining dollar and/or force exchange to their currency, plus they get their USD that were owed when they negotiated the bond.
But this doesn't help the average american. Large international businesses like Walmart, and Apple are going to pocket their profit and not trickle it down to their customers. Oil companies like BP and Shell will raise prices saying that it costs them more to produce the oil, and then make a killing off of the exchanges.
This in turn affects your average american who does not have access to international business--sure, people believe in the lie that they will get their retirement money which is based on investments in international and national businesses, but it is a lie because they don't have control over it. They put all of their money at risk and yet do not control that risk themselves--a broker business or hedgefund manager controls the risk and scoops up the cream of the profits and they give the minimal that they can get away with giving you and when the risks become too high and there are issues and you lose your money in a great recession/depression/whatever, they just blame it on the market and go on their merry way because they already made a killing off of you.
This whole system is exploitation at it's greatest, and everyone turns a blind eye to what they are doing by saying "well, my little exploitation here isn't going to affect the whole system because I;m only a small part of the system" yet EVERYONE is doing it. Everyone is exploiting everyone else.
Brokers make millions of dollars a day on money they don't actually own. Banks make millions of dollars a day on money they don't actually possess. The FED gives away money to big banks on a whim chance that it will improve things. Congress keeps borrowing money that they will never be accountable to pay back (Their terms aren't long enough, first of all, second of all, they rely on the FED to ensure that it gets paid back--and it does!) Businesses exploit their workers by not offering them fair wages. Businesses exploit the government by lobbying for laws to be passed that benefit them at the expense of the american public (healthcare laws I'm looking at you).
The whole human race is disgusting!
If there is some intelligent life out there capable of reading this and doing something about it, please liberate me from what mankind is doing.
It seems our entire species is founded on the exploitation of everything else.
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
A battle was lost today
How shall I put this?
I don't want to reveal too much too soon, but I suppose I will release a tiny part of a secret and leave my fans guessing about what's going on inside my brain.
I've found a way--provided I am able to accumulate enough money up front--to live on less than $5k per year, which I intend to make by online work. This is all part of a larger, master plan called operation Self 100.
Self 100, I suppose, isn't a classified secret, but like a specific religion would put it, it is "sacred" to me, so I'm not going to talk much about it in depth. (that's a joke, btw).
Self 100 is 100% self sufficiency--to create more than 100% of what is consumed. It applies to: food, water, clothing, electricity, rent/lease/taxes/mortgage, etc. It's a full lifestyle that relies entirely on renewable systems, bartering, and concise planning.--think of it as living the way colonists did, except without the rampant exploitation of resources [colonies could only last until the resources were depleted and then require imports, Self100 can last until the person doing it gives up/dies, but someone else could take over at that point].
The sad truth is that governments get in the way of self-100 because they expect you to produce and pay taxes--even if you don't benefit from those tax things. Thoreau tried to combat this but failed with multiple lawsuits, so rather than evade it all together, I intend to make just imports to pay the export tributes off.
As the title suggests, however, a battle was lost today, and I'm not talking about a legal battle or a physical battle, but rather a mental battle. Part of preparing for Self100 is conducting feasibility scenarios to explore the full scope of Self100. Self100 isn't supposed to be limiting in any way--it's supposed to allow you to have whatever you want provided that you find a way to incorporate it into the whole system and make it "renewable." For instance, you could do self100 on a rental system where you rent a home or lease a business or any number of things that ultimately bring you an income, which means you could do self100 in a city, you could self100 your business you could self100 a lot of things, but I've found that smaller, privately owned is the cheapest route and easiest to fly under the radar.
The moment that you get big enough to be noticed, other people are going to want a slice of the pie and your exports go up which require you to bring in more inputs and often times that means doing things you don't want to do just to pay off the exports. --That's the complete opposite of what self100 means. It means you don't have to do anything you don't want to do because your entire system is self sustaining.
The scenario I played out was somewhat depressing though. There is something that I want to incorporate into my long-term plan and when I looked into the costs, I found out the following scenarios:
Option A - $0 - $1,200 With the assistance of the government (something I would consider a MAJOR input and I don't know if I want to do that or not)
Option B - $5000 - 12,000 The typical method. No benefits no drawbacks but there are certain usual risks that might be better avoided.
Option C - $26,000+ An alternative that eliminates the risks of option B but provides others. The wait-time is as long as 24 months before some level of stability is achieved, but there are a lot of forms to fill out and monitoring.
Option C became invalid when I saw the price tag, and option B is a lot of money for someone who only does online work and doesn't want to get strapped with debt.
I guess the biggest thing to understand is that: Controlling the means of production gives you freedom. That's all I want to do with self-100 is create a system where I control the means of production and don't have to do anything I don't want to do and that will truly last forever.--That's how I intend to rule the world.==No exploitation.
I don't want to reveal too much too soon, but I suppose I will release a tiny part of a secret and leave my fans guessing about what's going on inside my brain.
I've found a way--provided I am able to accumulate enough money up front--to live on less than $5k per year, which I intend to make by online work. This is all part of a larger, master plan called operation Self 100.
Self 100, I suppose, isn't a classified secret, but like a specific religion would put it, it is "sacred" to me, so I'm not going to talk much about it in depth. (that's a joke, btw).
Self 100 is 100% self sufficiency--to create more than 100% of what is consumed. It applies to: food, water, clothing, electricity, rent/lease/taxes/mortgage, etc. It's a full lifestyle that relies entirely on renewable systems, bartering, and concise planning.--think of it as living the way colonists did, except without the rampant exploitation of resources [colonies could only last until the resources were depleted and then require imports, Self100 can last until the person doing it gives up/dies, but someone else could take over at that point].
The sad truth is that governments get in the way of self-100 because they expect you to produce and pay taxes--even if you don't benefit from those tax things. Thoreau tried to combat this but failed with multiple lawsuits, so rather than evade it all together, I intend to make just imports to pay the export tributes off.
As the title suggests, however, a battle was lost today, and I'm not talking about a legal battle or a physical battle, but rather a mental battle. Part of preparing for Self100 is conducting feasibility scenarios to explore the full scope of Self100. Self100 isn't supposed to be limiting in any way--it's supposed to allow you to have whatever you want provided that you find a way to incorporate it into the whole system and make it "renewable." For instance, you could do self100 on a rental system where you rent a home or lease a business or any number of things that ultimately bring you an income, which means you could do self100 in a city, you could self100 your business you could self100 a lot of things, but I've found that smaller, privately owned is the cheapest route and easiest to fly under the radar.
The moment that you get big enough to be noticed, other people are going to want a slice of the pie and your exports go up which require you to bring in more inputs and often times that means doing things you don't want to do just to pay off the exports. --That's the complete opposite of what self100 means. It means you don't have to do anything you don't want to do because your entire system is self sustaining.
The scenario I played out was somewhat depressing though. There is something that I want to incorporate into my long-term plan and when I looked into the costs, I found out the following scenarios:
Option A - $0 - $1,200 With the assistance of the government (something I would consider a MAJOR input and I don't know if I want to do that or not)
Option B - $5000 - 12,000 The typical method. No benefits no drawbacks but there are certain usual risks that might be better avoided.
Option C - $26,000+ An alternative that eliminates the risks of option B but provides others. The wait-time is as long as 24 months before some level of stability is achieved, but there are a lot of forms to fill out and monitoring.
Option C became invalid when I saw the price tag, and option B is a lot of money for someone who only does online work and doesn't want to get strapped with debt.
I guess the biggest thing to understand is that: Controlling the means of production gives you freedom. That's all I want to do with self-100 is create a system where I control the means of production and don't have to do anything I don't want to do and that will truly last forever.--That's how I intend to rule the world.==No exploitation.
Friday, September 9, 2016
Free Food before Free Medicare
I can't remember if I wrote an article on this or not, but I'm going to now, tell me if you've heard this before.
I'm so completely pro free food for everyone, and here's why.
Important Definitions:
"Free food" --not processed food, a better term would be free produce allotments. Fruit, Vegetables, Milk and Grains (not flour, just grains).
"consumption" --I don't mean $ amounts per say, but some sort of veggie credit system that doesn't equate to dollars. Something like 279lbs of fruit per year, or 146lbs of grain, or 428 lbs of vegetables per person.
"Paid for by the government" -- The tax money should be given to the food distributors who sold it to the end user and traced back to valid transactions with food producers/aggregates. Therefore, if they buy 500 corn at $.1/head from farmer dan last month and 1000 corn at $.2/head from farmer jill, they sell 1200 to this food program and can apply 1k to the 1000 they bought from jill and 200 to that they bought from dan. --the difference they make could cover their distribution expenses and they could still sell the other produce at normal price for profit.
"revolving monthly system" -- The alotment doesn't carry over to the next month, you either use it or lose it.
I think people should be given free produce allotments based on a national average for the previous year of consumption.
Even if it was 50% of annual consumption, and it was given to EVERYONE, I think that would be perfectly fine, not affect the economy negatively, not discriminate, and not encourage people to stop working and would probably resolve the American hunger dilemma and improve national health.
Do away with food stamps.
It would work on a revolving monthly system, so they couldn't carry it over.
Why I think it would work
They couldn't spend this money on fast food or other goods.
They couldn't spend it on boxed/processed foods.
They could not easily trade it, because everyone they could trade with easily, already has it.
Produce eventually goes old so they can't horde it.
Starving children can use it.
It would encourage people to eat healthier.
The money goes back through the economy chain, meaning more farmers have an incentive to produce food providing jobs. The distributor gets a job as well.
This isn't a huge impact on the economy--we would be taking a product that litterally everyone uses and give it to them for free--unlike health insurance which is the right but not the obligation to collect on a claim under specific circumstances that will likely never happen. Produce is consumed daily by everyone unless they only eat out.
People who don't normally go to the grocer would do so and might find other things to buy with the money they saved by buying produce.
I'm so completely pro free food for everyone, and here's why.
Important Definitions:
"Free food" --not processed food, a better term would be free produce allotments. Fruit, Vegetables, Milk and Grains (not flour, just grains).
"consumption" --I don't mean $ amounts per say, but some sort of veggie credit system that doesn't equate to dollars. Something like 279lbs of fruit per year, or 146lbs of grain, or 428 lbs of vegetables per person.
"Paid for by the government" -- The tax money should be given to the food distributors who sold it to the end user and traced back to valid transactions with food producers/aggregates. Therefore, if they buy 500 corn at $.1/head from farmer dan last month and 1000 corn at $.2/head from farmer jill, they sell 1200 to this food program and can apply 1k to the 1000 they bought from jill and 200 to that they bought from dan. --the difference they make could cover their distribution expenses and they could still sell the other produce at normal price for profit.
"revolving monthly system" -- The alotment doesn't carry over to the next month, you either use it or lose it.
I think people should be given free produce allotments based on a national average for the previous year of consumption.
Even if it was 50% of annual consumption, and it was given to EVERYONE, I think that would be perfectly fine, not affect the economy negatively, not discriminate, and not encourage people to stop working and would probably resolve the American hunger dilemma and improve national health.
Do away with food stamps.
It would work on a revolving monthly system, so they couldn't carry it over.
Why I think it would work
They couldn't spend this money on fast food or other goods.
They couldn't spend it on boxed/processed foods.
They could not easily trade it, because everyone they could trade with easily, already has it.
Produce eventually goes old so they can't horde it.
Starving children can use it.
It would encourage people to eat healthier.
The money goes back through the economy chain, meaning more farmers have an incentive to produce food providing jobs. The distributor gets a job as well.
This isn't a huge impact on the economy--we would be taking a product that litterally everyone uses and give it to them for free--unlike health insurance which is the right but not the obligation to collect on a claim under specific circumstances that will likely never happen. Produce is consumed daily by everyone unless they only eat out.
People who don't normally go to the grocer would do so and might find other things to buy with the money they saved by buying produce.
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
What Humanity Gave Up
I think I know how to explain this now!
I call it, "What Humanity Gave Up." And the point of this thing is that humanity gave it up but did not need to give it up. When people talk about greed being the root of all evil or money being at the root of all evil, this is really what they are talking about. So let me explain this to you and then I'll conclude and hopefully it all still makes sense:
Originally, mankind possessed the land, they grew crops, hunted, built homes and lived pretty simply.
Then, factions formed--or perhaps in the process of discovery, they formed--either way it doesn't matter, factions formed. People started to get greedy and envious and other people hit on hard times and they all did the same thing: they attacked those people who were outside of their faction.
Again, their motivations were: They wanted more than they had. --Everyone could fall into that category, whether because they had 0, nothing, and wanted enough to meet their needs, or because they wanted more so that they could live the life of luxury--they merely wanted more. Then, they used force to get what they wanted: more.
To protect themselves, these farmers and hunters had to develop weapons and defenses. Some people had to devote more of their time training than farming in order to be at sufficient skill to protect those who were farming and hunting and building.
In boiled down terms: because someone wanted to fight, someone else had to defend. Attackers and defenders were formed, and some did both: attack and defend.
But those defenders, the original humans, the ones who truly had a grasp on what it meant to be human--they gave up the life of farming and hunting and building and existing, just because someone else forced them to--some other human who was greedy and out of line and rogue and evil.
Conclusion:
The thing that humanity gave up was freedom. True freedom.
We could have been an idealistic society where everyone is given a parcel of land and told: make do with what you have. And some people who were given worse land than others could have just accepted their fate and struggled through life and died, possibly a short life.
This type of society could still buy and sell, it could be capitalistic so long as there was no force--only free will to give and take according to their own conscious.
But, the reason that this society is idealistic is because at some point, someone gets greedy, someone says "my capitalism is superior" and they make deals that are unfavorable and "forceful" in many regards (blackmail, for example, or deceptive, pressure tactics, etc).
We gave up true freedom a long time ago when we decided to protect ourselves from others who would steal from us.
These days, American society is tipping towards an even stranger philosophy. The belief was instilled early on in the founding of the US goverment that people were obligated to take care of the poor--specifically that they were obligated to EDUCATE those who can't afford education so that everyone would be given an equal ability to vote. Previous to that point, to receive an education, you had to work for it, you had to save and then pay for your education. Today, we have politicians seriously promoting free college education--paid for by the wealthy, just as it was in the past. And let's be honest, the arument does not need to be stretched much to fall in life with the original intent of the founding fathers: to make sure peopel were smart enough that they could make an educated vote--even with a high school education they can't make an educated vote, so what difference would a cheap college education make?
This argument for public schooling extended to today where we offer free assistance to the poor via food stamps, housing vouchers, baby formula, etc etc--because if they aren't in good health, how could they focus enough mental capacity to make an educated vote?
We can argue many different ways that socialism is merely the act of taking from the haves and giving to the have-nots for no other reason than to give the have-nots a better chance at living. This, in theory, could be a good system, but it relies heavily on force: Big brother takes from those who have and forces it to be handed out to the have nots.
Both Capitalism (deceitfully robbing the poor by "capitalizing" on limited resources) and Socialism (forcing those with means to give to those without means) are doomed systems.
The reason they are doomed systems is because of greed and more importantly FORCE.
Wherever there is force, there is no freedom. If you do things out of force, you do not have freedom.
If you pay taxes of any kind because you are threatened with jail time or confiscation--then you are being forced and it is no different than when the bad guys came to the farmers and demanded food from them. This is force. If you are drafted against your will--this is force.
Half of humanity gave up freedom when it forced the other half of humanity. Until we can find a remedy for this, there will be no freedom.
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
I have a warped sense of Friendship
This article was prompted by a conversation I had with Courtney, but I'm going to stray from using the traditional dialectic format.
I was attempting to tell her how difficult it is to have fans and stalkers and how my personality is the type that wants to be nice to everyone and have no enemies. I told her that I have tried two methods to deter these people from bothering me: 1) Telling them off in some form; 2) ignoring them. I think both responses fall under Competition/Aggression vs Avoidance, but I don't need to take this article in that direction.
At one point in our conversation, I made a realization about all of these people. A few of them actually:
First, I realized that I have an agenda with each of them, and that agenda is that I want to be friends with them.
Second--and this is where it gets complicated--I think they all want to assimilate me.
I think they want me to share an emotional bond with them as strong as the emotional attachment that they have with me. And somehow, (if you've read my other articles) that we'll experience the exact same things and be completely on the same page and unified. They want me to be on the same level that they are and when they are giving, they want me to be giving, then when they are passionate, they want me to be passionate, or playful or angry. They want me to be so firmly connected to them that I'm a continuation of them as a person, and that's no good. It's not good for me. It's unrealistic.
This theory explains a lot... my previous ex's were attached to me because I really was emotionally tight in that way with them, but then they fell apart when I strayed because I am my own person.
Every date I've been on in the last two years has gone the same way: if I wasn't emotionally mimicking them, they wouldn't be interested, but if I matched their emotions and parroted back to them, they would want to come back for more. All of my "fans" or stalkers or whatever you want to call them seem to be holding out for hope that one day I'll suddenly become just like them and emotionally connect to them and never let them go, but to me that's a little nauseating.
I like people for being themselves and being respectful of me. I like to connect emotionally with people, but I don't expect it and don't hold out for it, and don't pine for it. I want to share experiences with people, but I want them to form their own opinions and emotions of those experiences-- let me repeat: I do not want them to mimic my emotional responses to experiences that we share. I want them to form their own emotions and opinions. --I don't know what I have said in the past; it's been a while since I re-read what I have written, but connecting on that level is not the raison d'etre.
The raison d'etre for any relationship is to share the same moment of time, both feel positive emotions regarding it, and then both communicate about what they are feeling.
It is watching a moonrise together and person A sharing a story about how their father used to take them star gazing and how it felt so peaceful and safe, and person B sharing their emotions about how they are so glad to be around person A and how they make them happy.
--Notice: Both people shared different things in this hyp-examp. One was emotionally nostalgic, building neural pathways between the association of person B and their father. Person B was feeling emotionally grateful, happy and content that person A was in their life.
I would love to be EITHER A or B.
That's where I think I have a warped sense of friendship.
I don't care about WHAT emotions are expressed as long as they are positive.
I also don't care what the experience is, so long as it can be talked about positively and communicated positively.
Those seem to be the ideal ingredients: positive emotions, and communication. Though, the communication is more of a catalyst. The positive emotions are necessary for sure, but sometimes you don't need to communicate to trigger the reaction.
At least... this is what I've found anyway.
I was attempting to tell her how difficult it is to have fans and stalkers and how my personality is the type that wants to be nice to everyone and have no enemies. I told her that I have tried two methods to deter these people from bothering me: 1) Telling them off in some form; 2) ignoring them. I think both responses fall under Competition/Aggression vs Avoidance, but I don't need to take this article in that direction.
At one point in our conversation, I made a realization about all of these people. A few of them actually:
First, I realized that I have an agenda with each of them, and that agenda is that I want to be friends with them.
Second--and this is where it gets complicated--I think they all want to assimilate me.
I think they want me to share an emotional bond with them as strong as the emotional attachment that they have with me. And somehow, (if you've read my other articles) that we'll experience the exact same things and be completely on the same page and unified. They want me to be on the same level that they are and when they are giving, they want me to be giving, then when they are passionate, they want me to be passionate, or playful or angry. They want me to be so firmly connected to them that I'm a continuation of them as a person, and that's no good. It's not good for me. It's unrealistic.
This theory explains a lot... my previous ex's were attached to me because I really was emotionally tight in that way with them, but then they fell apart when I strayed because I am my own person.
Every date I've been on in the last two years has gone the same way: if I wasn't emotionally mimicking them, they wouldn't be interested, but if I matched their emotions and parroted back to them, they would want to come back for more. All of my "fans" or stalkers or whatever you want to call them seem to be holding out for hope that one day I'll suddenly become just like them and emotionally connect to them and never let them go, but to me that's a little nauseating.
I like people for being themselves and being respectful of me. I like to connect emotionally with people, but I don't expect it and don't hold out for it, and don't pine for it. I want to share experiences with people, but I want them to form their own opinions and emotions of those experiences-- let me repeat: I do not want them to mimic my emotional responses to experiences that we share. I want them to form their own emotions and opinions. --I don't know what I have said in the past; it's been a while since I re-read what I have written, but connecting on that level is not the raison d'etre.
The raison d'etre for any relationship is to share the same moment of time, both feel positive emotions regarding it, and then both communicate about what they are feeling.
It is watching a moonrise together and person A sharing a story about how their father used to take them star gazing and how it felt so peaceful and safe, and person B sharing their emotions about how they are so glad to be around person A and how they make them happy.
--Notice: Both people shared different things in this hyp-examp. One was emotionally nostalgic, building neural pathways between the association of person B and their father. Person B was feeling emotionally grateful, happy and content that person A was in their life.
I would love to be EITHER A or B.
That's where I think I have a warped sense of friendship.
I don't care about WHAT emotions are expressed as long as they are positive.
I also don't care what the experience is, so long as it can be talked about positively and communicated positively.
Those seem to be the ideal ingredients: positive emotions, and communication. Though, the communication is more of a catalyst. The positive emotions are necessary for sure, but sometimes you don't need to communicate to trigger the reaction.
At least... this is what I've found anyway.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Follow-up to where has all the money gone?
There were 2 points I wanted to make in the original article--just before I got sidetracked about confirming my original argument about needing $12.40 to be sufficiently independent and on your own.
The first point I wanted to make was that somehow people survive by being sub-average. My original article was based around averages and medians. But sadly, people aren't average, and they are resourceful when their life is at stake. They find ways to cut corners, they make "sacrifices"--or rather, they make decisions about what their priorities are and they pay those bills first. They jump on opportunities that come their way and they manipulate people into giving them those opportunities.
Many people get ahead by pairing off with others. They pay lesser rent because they're splitting it between 3 or 4 roommates. They eat dinner with mommy and daddy so that they don't have to pay for meals. They get discounts on everything and big ticket items they get grandpa and grandma to buy for them.
On the surface, these people look as though they are independent and on their own, but they aren't completely independent--their lifestyle hinges on someone else. They wouldn't be able to afford their nice car if they didnt' live at home. They wouldn't be able to afford to live in a nice neighborhood if their parents weren't paying some of their rent. They wouldn't be able to go on vacations if someone didn't give it to them as a gift. Discounts, deals, and charity are what hold these people together.
Second point.
Way way way too many people spend their money on drugs and marijuana. They come up with pet names for the hobby and justify it in their mind like: I need this because it helps my anxiety and I don't have to pay for expensive pills instead. Or, I wouldn't be able to make it through the week if I didn't know there was something to look forward to on the weekend.
At the end of it all, they don't get too far ahead in life because they're busy living in the here and now--and not even a real here and now but instead a fantasy they dreamed up in their head while they were doing rec. drugs. I have never known anyone who lives on their own and smokes marijuana, maybe my network isn't big enough, but they always rely on someone else to pay part of the rent so that they can spend their money on weed.
In some, people are so full of shit.
They may, in many ways, appear to have their life together, yet they aren't quite there. The reason is, that to get there, they have to choose that lifestyle. They have to choose to work 40+ hours per week and drain themselves completely to be paid more than 15/hr. At that point, they are so tired or stressed out and they are barely getting by they just veg in front of a TV screen or computer or theater. They don't have the energy to do anything with their life.
This is how the world works these days, unfortunately. You have to make a decision in life to choose the lifestyle you want to live and say to hell with the money. The only people making a lot of money are hustling others and getting rich off the backs of people who slave away for them.
You pick a lifestyle, you live it, whether that means drugs or making money, or living privately on your own, or travelling, and you devote all of your resources to that thing. You sacrifice for that thing. You suck up to people. You may lose your own self respect or you may be put in uncomfortable situations with other people or otherwise, but it is the life you choose and you have to take a lot of 'bad' along with it.
The first point I wanted to make was that somehow people survive by being sub-average. My original article was based around averages and medians. But sadly, people aren't average, and they are resourceful when their life is at stake. They find ways to cut corners, they make "sacrifices"--or rather, they make decisions about what their priorities are and they pay those bills first. They jump on opportunities that come their way and they manipulate people into giving them those opportunities.
Many people get ahead by pairing off with others. They pay lesser rent because they're splitting it between 3 or 4 roommates. They eat dinner with mommy and daddy so that they don't have to pay for meals. They get discounts on everything and big ticket items they get grandpa and grandma to buy for them.
On the surface, these people look as though they are independent and on their own, but they aren't completely independent--their lifestyle hinges on someone else. They wouldn't be able to afford their nice car if they didnt' live at home. They wouldn't be able to afford to live in a nice neighborhood if their parents weren't paying some of their rent. They wouldn't be able to go on vacations if someone didn't give it to them as a gift. Discounts, deals, and charity are what hold these people together.
Second point.
Way way way too many people spend their money on drugs and marijuana. They come up with pet names for the hobby and justify it in their mind like: I need this because it helps my anxiety and I don't have to pay for expensive pills instead. Or, I wouldn't be able to make it through the week if I didn't know there was something to look forward to on the weekend.
At the end of it all, they don't get too far ahead in life because they're busy living in the here and now--and not even a real here and now but instead a fantasy they dreamed up in their head while they were doing rec. drugs. I have never known anyone who lives on their own and smokes marijuana, maybe my network isn't big enough, but they always rely on someone else to pay part of the rent so that they can spend their money on weed.
In some, people are so full of shit.
They may, in many ways, appear to have their life together, yet they aren't quite there. The reason is, that to get there, they have to choose that lifestyle. They have to choose to work 40+ hours per week and drain themselves completely to be paid more than 15/hr. At that point, they are so tired or stressed out and they are barely getting by they just veg in front of a TV screen or computer or theater. They don't have the energy to do anything with their life.
This is how the world works these days, unfortunately. You have to make a decision in life to choose the lifestyle you want to live and say to hell with the money. The only people making a lot of money are hustling others and getting rich off the backs of people who slave away for them.
You pick a lifestyle, you live it, whether that means drugs or making money, or living privately on your own, or travelling, and you devote all of your resources to that thing. You sacrifice for that thing. You suck up to people. You may lose your own self respect or you may be put in uncomfortable situations with other people or otherwise, but it is the life you choose and you have to take a lot of 'bad' along with it.
Friday, July 15, 2016
Where have all the moneys gone? Long time passing?
I wrote a post on here a long time ago that attempted to justify and explain the costs of living in weber county, Ut.
--I don't think the numbers have changed. I think I'm still pretty accurate in my conclusions to that piece, but there are a few line items that I think have changed over the years (I wrote it in 2013).
Medical insurance, for example, has changed a little bit since then, but if anything it has only dropped $100/mo or $1,200 per year in an ideal situation. Mostly, people get by by having their employer pay part of their insurance, which equates to instead of $350/mo of insurance premiums they pay closer to $80/mo which is outside the realm of what I was using those scenarios for anyway. --If you didn't cut your budget, pinch and save, and take advantage of every little thing out there, then you would need around $12.00/hr wages to be single and live on your own. If you had other expenses, like medical bills or college tuition or otherwise, then you would need more money or more penny pinching.
I don't think wages have changed any over the last 3 years in weber county. They've stagnated. People survive by advancing their career, or super penny pinching.
I felt like doing another one of these posts only with salt lake county, where wages are higher, but expenses are way higher, but I think my experience and ethos as a home owner, renter, and landlord in the county gives me credibility to say: Wages are higher, but expenses are much must higher.
I chose weber county as my study area originally because I knew it was cheaper to live there than in other places, but still provided a reasonable life comparable to other places in the U.S.--plenty of things to do, shopping centers, and opportunities because it is a metro area. But I also know that in weber county there are a lot more opportunities to get ahead than in SLC. You can reasonably pinch pennies without suffering a loss.
Well, I'm getting off track here because the summary of my post has taken up the majority of this article. I'll have to do a follow-up later. ******************************************
--I don't think the numbers have changed. I think I'm still pretty accurate in my conclusions to that piece, but there are a few line items that I think have changed over the years (I wrote it in 2013).
Medical insurance, for example, has changed a little bit since then, but if anything it has only dropped $100/mo or $1,200 per year in an ideal situation. Mostly, people get by by having their employer pay part of their insurance, which equates to instead of $350/mo of insurance premiums they pay closer to $80/mo which is outside the realm of what I was using those scenarios for anyway. --If you didn't cut your budget, pinch and save, and take advantage of every little thing out there, then you would need around $12.00/hr wages to be single and live on your own. If you had other expenses, like medical bills or college tuition or otherwise, then you would need more money or more penny pinching.
I don't think wages have changed any over the last 3 years in weber county. They've stagnated. People survive by advancing their career, or super penny pinching.
I felt like doing another one of these posts only with salt lake county, where wages are higher, but expenses are way higher, but I think my experience and ethos as a home owner, renter, and landlord in the county gives me credibility to say: Wages are higher, but expenses are much must higher.
I chose weber county as my study area originally because I knew it was cheaper to live there than in other places, but still provided a reasonable life comparable to other places in the U.S.--plenty of things to do, shopping centers, and opportunities because it is a metro area. But I also know that in weber county there are a lot more opportunities to get ahead than in SLC. You can reasonably pinch pennies without suffering a loss.
Well, I'm getting off track here because the summary of my post has taken up the majority of this article. I'll have to do a follow-up later. ******************************************
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
A history of my dating experiences in utah directed for non-mormons
I've been dating for 11 years straight, had many many girlfriends, been engaged 3 times, dated a lot more than that.--I think all of that qualifies me to say I'm an expert at dating, unlike those who get married and take a break for a few years.
Ok, enough crap.
Dating in Utah is a little different from any other state, though it might be comparable to dating in certain "christian" cities across the U.S. but let me tell you, if you aren't Mormon here (or christian, there) it's a very weird place to be.
For starters, Utah isn't even 51% Mormon, but the culture effects everything. Girls are taught that they should get married and have kids. When they get older, they make a conscious decision to either go with what they were taught and try to get married and have kids; or they rebel against the notion and say they don't want to get married or they don't want to have kids. --I've been around the block and 95% of people fall into one of these categories. The alternative is to really think hard about the decision and choose to either not have kids out of some other reason such as health reasons or the reality that they wouldn't make a good mother or that it would interfere with a career--or vise versa, to have kids for multiple reasons unrelated to what they were taught in life.--That's only about 5% of people. I'm not generalizing, this is true. Talk to someone long enough and you'll decide that they have no real reason for not wanting kids, or wanting kids just because they were told to.
This concept of marriage and children plays into the Utah dating pool differently than it does elsewhere in the world. Elsewhere, girls want to have a boyfriend for the sake of saying they have a boyfriend, but here they want to have a boyfriend for the sake of getting married.
Sadly, the ones who dont' want marriage or children either refuse to date or they only want a boyfriend to have "a little fun," get free things, and be taken care of.
Furthermore, there is a lot of fantasy that plays into the Utah dating world. Girls think some form of Disney prince is going to sweep them off their feet, and the young boys who catch onto this act the part--if only temporarily, because you can only act for so long. --and This is seriously twisted. There is an expectation that you be something that you are not to impress a girl who is only using you for a meal ticket or a marriage license or a father for their children. And unfortunately, after everything is said and done, they don't exactly care that you aren't being yourself.
Remember when I said how people like pain?--I guess I didn't write a post about it, but I've been saying it for over a year now and will have to write an article on it. These girls get married have a kid and then when things calm down enough they look at their husband and realize he's not the knight in Disney shining armor that they thought he was, because at that point he is tired of acting or he slips up a few times. Naturally, the marriage falls apart.
Next, there are a lot of divorced single moms in Utah. In other states there are a lot of teenage moms who didn't ever get married, and those are different, and yes we have those here too. These single moms obsess over their children. Their children are their life; if only because that's what the culture here expects. You rarely hear about people here giving up their child for adoption, or the mother letting the father take primary custody like you might in other states. But the real weird thing about these single moms is that they still troll the dating world, and they still act the same way that they did for their first husband: they want a prince charming or someone who will act for them.
It seems like a good follow-up recipe for disaster.
Being a Greek Atheist, I'm classified with the Satanists--Hell, I adhere to a few of their principles. Meaning, I think about everything I believe and I be the person I think I am and want to be. And therein lies a problem with the dating world: No matter how much I make the feel important or feel wanted, it doesn't matter because I'm not who they want--I'm not a Disney prince charming. I don't want to get married, but I do want kids.
Quid Pro Quo, I chase after less than 5% of the Utah population: the ones who don't want marriage, but want more than just a little fun and possibly want to have kids. Probably it's 1 in 1:1,000,000 that would be comfortable with my personality and lifestyle, and there aren't even 3 million people in Utah.
Ok, enough crap.
Dating in Utah is a little different from any other state, though it might be comparable to dating in certain "christian" cities across the U.S. but let me tell you, if you aren't Mormon here (or christian, there) it's a very weird place to be.
For starters, Utah isn't even 51% Mormon, but the culture effects everything. Girls are taught that they should get married and have kids. When they get older, they make a conscious decision to either go with what they were taught and try to get married and have kids; or they rebel against the notion and say they don't want to get married or they don't want to have kids. --I've been around the block and 95% of people fall into one of these categories. The alternative is to really think hard about the decision and choose to either not have kids out of some other reason such as health reasons or the reality that they wouldn't make a good mother or that it would interfere with a career--or vise versa, to have kids for multiple reasons unrelated to what they were taught in life.--That's only about 5% of people. I'm not generalizing, this is true. Talk to someone long enough and you'll decide that they have no real reason for not wanting kids, or wanting kids just because they were told to.
This concept of marriage and children plays into the Utah dating pool differently than it does elsewhere in the world. Elsewhere, girls want to have a boyfriend for the sake of saying they have a boyfriend, but here they want to have a boyfriend for the sake of getting married.
Sadly, the ones who dont' want marriage or children either refuse to date or they only want a boyfriend to have "a little fun," get free things, and be taken care of.
Furthermore, there is a lot of fantasy that plays into the Utah dating world. Girls think some form of Disney prince is going to sweep them off their feet, and the young boys who catch onto this act the part--if only temporarily, because you can only act for so long. --and This is seriously twisted. There is an expectation that you be something that you are not to impress a girl who is only using you for a meal ticket or a marriage license or a father for their children. And unfortunately, after everything is said and done, they don't exactly care that you aren't being yourself.
Remember when I said how people like pain?--I guess I didn't write a post about it, but I've been saying it for over a year now and will have to write an article on it. These girls get married have a kid and then when things calm down enough they look at their husband and realize he's not the knight in Disney shining armor that they thought he was, because at that point he is tired of acting or he slips up a few times. Naturally, the marriage falls apart.
Next, there are a lot of divorced single moms in Utah. In other states there are a lot of teenage moms who didn't ever get married, and those are different, and yes we have those here too. These single moms obsess over their children. Their children are their life; if only because that's what the culture here expects. You rarely hear about people here giving up their child for adoption, or the mother letting the father take primary custody like you might in other states. But the real weird thing about these single moms is that they still troll the dating world, and they still act the same way that they did for their first husband: they want a prince charming or someone who will act for them.
It seems like a good follow-up recipe for disaster.
Being a Greek Atheist, I'm classified with the Satanists--Hell, I adhere to a few of their principles. Meaning, I think about everything I believe and I be the person I think I am and want to be. And therein lies a problem with the dating world: No matter how much I make the feel important or feel wanted, it doesn't matter because I'm not who they want--I'm not a Disney prince charming. I don't want to get married, but I do want kids.
Quid Pro Quo, I chase after less than 5% of the Utah population: the ones who don't want marriage, but want more than just a little fun and possibly want to have kids. Probably it's 1 in 1:1,000,000 that would be comfortable with my personality and lifestyle, and there aren't even 3 million people in Utah.
Friday, June 24, 2016
Post
I've been a little hung up with other projects to focus on this blog and writing out my thoughts. In fact, I don't even have internet at my house right now, I've resigned to using hot spots and my parent's internet for the time being. I could say something about that, but all in all I think it's a good thing--prevents me from being lazy for the time being and actually adds another layer of protection to my PC.
A list of things I'm doing;
Organic Farming on 1 Acre
Finding creative ways to sell my produce
Vlogging for my farm
Flipping a house that I'm living in
Moving into that house
Writing a Book
Enjoying summer -- Kayaking, tubing, swimming, driving, wanting to go camping but not camping, luberjacking taking care of properties.
Ya, I'd say I'm pretty busy.
I've been living on my parent's couch for a few weeks up until 2 days ago.
But I haven't stopped thinking or exploring. I'd love to write those new insights out but I just don't have the time at the right time! I've cracked the secret to motivational speeches and seen a few interesting natrual-world competitive actions that can be applied to the real world. I've discovered several social media PR tricks and hashed the role of the president in the next 4 years. I've had good humorous jokes with people and on pepole who were too unaware to understand. I've coped.
Life goes on and I love it right now. What is there to complain abouit?
A list of things I'm doing;
Organic Farming on 1 Acre
Finding creative ways to sell my produce
Vlogging for my farm
Flipping a house that I'm living in
Moving into that house
Writing a Book
Enjoying summer -- Kayaking, tubing, swimming, driving, wanting to go camping but not camping, luberjacking taking care of properties.
Ya, I'd say I'm pretty busy.
I've been living on my parent's couch for a few weeks up until 2 days ago.
But I haven't stopped thinking or exploring. I'd love to write those new insights out but I just don't have the time at the right time! I've cracked the secret to motivational speeches and seen a few interesting natrual-world competitive actions that can be applied to the real world. I've discovered several social media PR tricks and hashed the role of the president in the next 4 years. I've had good humorous jokes with people and on pepole who were too unaware to understand. I've coped.
Life goes on and I love it right now. What is there to complain abouit?
Friday, May 20, 2016
Why I change
I change rapidly.
I've had it described by others and myself that I change as though my rocket ship is already loaded and ready to launch and someone or something hit the launch button.
But let me describe why that is.
Each time I change, it's because my very life and existence is at risk. I change because I know how close death is. Not because I've almost died, but because I've thought very carefully about killing myself before. I came to the conclusion that I'm not going to do anything again that would bring me close to death. There are ALWAYS alternatives. If I'm not happy with where my life is going, I change. If I don't like my lifestyle, I change.
I don't want to live a life if I don't enjoy it, so if I stop enjoying it, I quit that and do something else.
If my principles and theories about life cease to make sense, make me feel guilty, make me upset, make me into something I don't want to be--I give them up. I change.
I don't want to be anything that I'm not completely satisfied with; and when I'm not completely satisfied with the present, or with the possible future outcomes ahead of me, I change.
I change everything and I know that if I change once, I can change back if I find another way to make my past work.
I've had it described by others and myself that I change as though my rocket ship is already loaded and ready to launch and someone or something hit the launch button.
But let me describe why that is.
Each time I change, it's because my very life and existence is at risk. I change because I know how close death is. Not because I've almost died, but because I've thought very carefully about killing myself before. I came to the conclusion that I'm not going to do anything again that would bring me close to death. There are ALWAYS alternatives. If I'm not happy with where my life is going, I change. If I don't like my lifestyle, I change.
I don't want to live a life if I don't enjoy it, so if I stop enjoying it, I quit that and do something else.
If my principles and theories about life cease to make sense, make me feel guilty, make me upset, make me into something I don't want to be--I give them up. I change.
I don't want to be anything that I'm not completely satisfied with; and when I'm not completely satisfied with the present, or with the possible future outcomes ahead of me, I change.
I change everything and I know that if I change once, I can change back if I find another way to make my past work.
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Longing
I long for a simple life,
something better because I get it
something I chose completely
not something I fell into.
I don't want opportunities
they always come with stipulations
and they're rarely things I want at the time
I want options that I created.
And yet.
I want them now.
I feel like Bilbo Baggins when he says, "I want to see mountains again, Mountains Gandolf!"
I want that dream I've been chasing and I'm frustrated because I worry that it isn't possible.
A lot of things are piling up to some key moments that I have no control over right now and I have to wait to see how they play out. If they play out the way I would like, then I will be satisfied. If they don't, then I have to react to those outcomes. But right now, I just wish it would just play out so I don't have to be anxious.
something better because I get it
something I chose completely
not something I fell into.
I don't want opportunities
they always come with stipulations
and they're rarely things I want at the time
I want options that I created.
And yet.
I want them now.
I feel like Bilbo Baggins when he says, "I want to see mountains again, Mountains Gandolf!"
I want that dream I've been chasing and I'm frustrated because I worry that it isn't possible.
A lot of things are piling up to some key moments that I have no control over right now and I have to wait to see how they play out. If they play out the way I would like, then I will be satisfied. If they don't, then I have to react to those outcomes. But right now, I just wish it would just play out so I don't have to be anxious.
American Fear
I've taken an interest in the history of the Atomic Bomb and the U.S. It's an interesting story and yet a very devastating one. --what an atrocity. The whole concept of it is disgusting.
Perhaps a teenage mind would support the use of the bomb, but the power of this weapon is too great. It has too many consequences.
Fear is the real weapon of the bomb. The fear that at any moment your life will be forfeit by some other man who had more opportunities than you in life that placed them in a powerful seat.
It is no wonder to me that modern warfare shifted from large scale assault with massive weapons to many small surprise strikes by individuals; Terrorism.
Terrorism is the response of the fear established by the bomb.
A single bomb can destroy some but not all of an international terroristic group, and if such extreme strike were used, it would have to be used on its own people. Furthermore, using harsh, brute force against a seemingly tiny speck of a fly would only enrage the fly and its friends and family to come back with even greater numbers.
Many things stopped the US from ever using the Bomb. What if those same things could stop the use of Terrorism?
Terrorism and guerrilla warfare will always exist, just like the Atom bomb will always exist. But perhaps there is a way to convince mankind to cease the use of Fear. If only we could think of some way to halt the use of fear.
Perhaps a teenage mind would support the use of the bomb, but the power of this weapon is too great. It has too many consequences.
Fear is the real weapon of the bomb. The fear that at any moment your life will be forfeit by some other man who had more opportunities than you in life that placed them in a powerful seat.
It is no wonder to me that modern warfare shifted from large scale assault with massive weapons to many small surprise strikes by individuals; Terrorism.
Terrorism is the response of the fear established by the bomb.
A single bomb can destroy some but not all of an international terroristic group, and if such extreme strike were used, it would have to be used on its own people. Furthermore, using harsh, brute force against a seemingly tiny speck of a fly would only enrage the fly and its friends and family to come back with even greater numbers.
Many things stopped the US from ever using the Bomb. What if those same things could stop the use of Terrorism?
Terrorism and guerrilla warfare will always exist, just like the Atom bomb will always exist. But perhaps there is a way to convince mankind to cease the use of Fear. If only we could think of some way to halt the use of fear.
Saturday, April 9, 2016
I'm not a gypsy
It's no joke that I don't want to be where I am right now.
I don't like the city, but I feel that I have to be here because it's where I can make money--more and more easily than elsewhere.
I feel the call of the wild regularly.
I hear the mountains and the trees and I look outside and I see neither. I feel cramped like I've overgrown my turf. My body complains about not getting enough sun and living in the dark and not tasting the real air.
I want to get out, but I'm not a gypsy. I don't want to be here, but I don't want to be anywhere in particular.
I want a space to call my own. I want a place I can be myself. I want to get away from all the people who stress me out. I want to have something to look forward to. Something to invest my energy into. I want a place of my own.
If you know me well enough, you know I hate money. I hate the concept of money most of the time. I'm good with my money. I follow the rules. But I associate money too much with the things I hate.
I look elsewhere, at a map, trying to decide where I can go from here, but it all seems so far away. It all seems too distant. The obstacles in my way will take me years and years and then I'll be an old man and I won't be able to finish what I started.
--That thought makes me want to cry. I'm tearing up now.
I feel embarrassed to share with anyone my plans. Dreams are usually personal and I don't know anyone I personally trust. So instead, I remain quiet and it eats at my insides.
It's no wonder people do drastic things. They don't trust anyone or they don't see them as helpful in their processes. I'm ambitious, certainly. What I want to do seems so much bigger than me and I'm upset right now that it's so challenging, so difficult.
I'm frustrated all across the board with my job, with my lifestyle, with my relationships, with my family, with my health, with time itself. To elaborate, I'm frustrated that my job is so stressful and fast paced, I'm upset that I live in a dark community apartment with less than 400sqft of domestic space and all of my outside space is communal. I'm disappointed that my family and I are so very different that I feel alienated when I have a casual conversation with them. I'm annoyed by starting to see the signs of my body falling apart, I'm sore all the time, I have trouble sleeping or I want to sleep longer when I do sleep, I'm not strong enough for everything and my muscles are constantly rebuilding and I feel like I don't have enough endurance because I'm running a marathon every day. And lastly, I'm a little irked with this thing called time: I know I won't live forever but I know I'll live a very long time--longer than most people; but I don't want to waste 1/3rd of my life living a lifestyle I'm not happy with. My head can't cope with this; it is pushing me to pursue my ambition or live in misery because nothing else is as important.
Yes, perhaps I've found my passion and that's what's bothering me so much, but even though I know what my passion is I still can't have it, and that's why I have so much mental angst.
Sunday, April 3, 2016
A flawed system
I keep listening to this song and I think it has a huge effect on me. It's pretty heavy.
Life's pretty lame; but it doesn't have to be.
I've seen how beautiful life can be. I've touch those magnificent moments, I could smell them and taste them and bask in them--that's how real it is for me.
But I've also seen the idiotic mess that we've made of life. We humans have thwarted our own best chances. Instead of conceding to being happy, we put ourselves into an agitated state 24/7 and we dangle the golden carrot in front of our own eyes. Then we deny ourselves from ever reaching it.
And the interesting thing about all of this is that every human being does this.
Me, I'm trying to get back to the root of all life. That quest, it would seem, is my golden carrot. And as I work for it, I see these very complex obstacles that are stopping me. I see the bureaucratic system holding me back from this end goal. That system is starting to disgust me, and the more it disgusts me the more I want that carrot and the more I'm pushing for alternative routes to that goal. It's a perpetual cycle of me wanting this thing I can't have and not being happy right now because I'm too disgusted by the world around me; yet that disgust is what keeps me going as if maybe the thing I'm disgusted by is really what I'm living for.
*shiver*
To further my point, I'm going to share an out-there example that I think illuminates this predicament: People who vocally hate drama tend to be the ones whose lives are full of drama and more often than not are the ones who are starting drama. They'll point fingers at other people and try to blame them for causing drama in their life, yet the act of pointing fingers is what perpetuates the drama. It is as if the thing they hate the most is really themselves.
I feel a lot of sympathy for everyone right now. People who want love more than anything yet they struggle with loving others--People who live in fear of an anxious and tense situation, yet it is their tension that is triggering that very anxiety and fear.--People who struggle every day with their addictions and want to quit but they see themselves as weak and pathetic and only because they can't overcome their addictions.
Its sad you guys.
I'm not okay with this; and I think I've been going about this the wrong way by thinking "we" need to do something about this; because really "I" need to do something about this.
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Utah Caucuses
"Utah Caucuses" --Probably the biggest joke in the political system right after how difficult it is to register.
Read that again for me please because I think 90% of people will double-take and question what I'm talking about.
Let me enlighten you:
I've lived in Utah my whole life--minus a brief 2 year stint in West Virginia for religious prison. I've sat back and watched the political ball field through the years in my state. First, I was a silent observer because I wasn't of voting age, then I gained my citizenship--actually, I just turned 18, that's it, but that year I didn't vote for anything. Probably because I was inbetween the important elections, or probably because of the real issue:
To register to vote, you have to have a physical address. --I moved away from my parent's house at 17, but I was kind of inbetween--half of the time I was at my parents; half of the time I was in another city. I was in limbo and my life was very emotionally driven in those years--probably it still is.
The one year I voted, I absentee voted by mail because it's easier--while I was living in WV. I was 19 at the time, go me. It was for the president. It was against Obama--I think for McCain (shudders). I really had no clue what I was voting for because I was preoccupied with my religion and merely voted with what my religion told me to and what my parents told me to.
Ever since then, I haven't been able to vote.
...And if you think about it, that vote wasn't really a fair vote, it wasn't really reflective of me, it was reflective of my religion. So ya, I admit it: I don't vote. Not that I don't study the candidates, not that I don't talk politics. Not that I don't know who I Would vote for, but because of what I think most people call "disillusionment with the voting system"
After I got back from my religious stint, I lived in one house, then moved elsewhere in the county to another house, then moved back to Logan, then moved back to Plain City, then moved to North Ogden, Brigham city, Taylorsville, Slatterville, and now West Jordan.
When it comes time to vote, I've been "stuck at work"--well, to say that is kind of tricky: I've been at work all morning, afternoon and into the evening, then I guess things would pile up so I couldn't physically go down to where I needed to go to vote.
Furthermore, when I looked into voting by mail--Which is an option--I was told I had to register my new address with the county recorder--which is standard, sure, and it sounds simple enough, just print off this piece of paper and mail it to the recorder or go down there in person. --I don't even know where to go for that kind of thing....What's the address? What times of day can I go? Who is it?--Okay, maybe I'll choose option B) mail it in. But then I have to buy a stamp book, because I don't use stamps all that often. And envelops. Oh, and paper and ink for my printer--well, right now I don't even have a printer. So I guess I could go to the library?
Oh, and did I mention that I live in West Jordan but own a house in Taylorsville, and I won't be living in W. Jordan by the end of the year most likely? ...How many times do I have to change my address? how many stamps? How many pieces of paper printed? (I've moved 7 Times in the last 5 years.)
This is already looking like a lot of red tape, just to cast a vote.
Okay, let's add more red tape:
In Utah, the electoral college is still a little secretive in my mind. Who votes? Senators? House of Reps? I'm confused and it's all very blurry to me. No one taught this in my Citizenship course in High School, but what I do know is that it's all or nothing and it's always Republican here in Utah. [2012 it was 740,000 to 250,000 Rep- to Dem votes, so to make any leeway, 500,000 people or 1/6th of the state would have to vote strictly for democrats.--but did we award 1 collegate vote to Obama-Bidden? No. ]
So. I disagree with a lot of things the Republican party is saying these days. What options do I have here? Do I have any? --In light of past performance, 60-75% of the Utah popular vote goes to a republican candidate, I think the only thing to do is to appeal to the Republican party to hear my concerns.
Do I just send a letter to my senators (no, he'll throw it away along with all the rest of his junk mail).
How do you make any difference in Utah?
You caucus.
But that's silly. Not everyone goes or can go to the caucuses just the same as when they can't vote. They try to accommodate everyone, but how could they? It's just more red tape that people have to cross to get their voice heard here in the state.
Caucuses though--they sound so simple!
Here's how the republican caucus goes in the republican theocracy of Utah: They have a prayer. (which, I disagree with, because one can believe in God--one of the party's main beliefs--but that god could be the Buddhist God, or the Indian God, or the Scientology God, or the Muslim God or what have you, and they all pray very differently though they all tend to believe in that same god of the universe. How does one voice such a concern to their party?--it's not on the voting ballot).
Next, they elect caucus positions, and caucus delegates which are just another layer of separation between who has a voice and who doesn't in this state--the delegates vote on the positions in the state, such as senator or governor, not really the people; and sure, they are supposed to vote based on the people in their caucus--their neighbors, etc. but they don't always, and more often than not their neighbors don't say anything to them so they vote for who they themselves want to vote for.
All of this is very silly to me.
I get that we don't live in a Democracy, we live in a Republic, but this isn't even a Republic. The layer upon layer upon layer confuses things. So not only does the Utah vote come down to 6 people, it comes down to 6 people who are influenced by 40 people who are influenced by really just the 30 or 40 people who attend the republican caucus. Do the math, that's less than 10k people who influence 6/538 (1%) of the presidential campaign.
In order words, 10k people make up the 1% of political power here in Utah. 10K people are the 1%.
And even at the Republican Caucus I attended, 2 delegates represent me on the state level--they influence the Governor, the Senators, and I believe the house of reps--you know, that lowly position that is supposed to be an advocate for all the people in his or her jurisdiction but has very little power to do anything. Out of 40 people that were there, only 3 people ran for those 3 seats--I was one of them. To add to it, they allowed someone who was not even at the caucus to run --AND WIN--one of the seats. Is that fair? I wasn't aware that you could run for something and then not show up on the day of the election...?
This whole process seems to reinforce my belief about what is wrong with the republican party. People don't want to really be active--they don't want to run for delegate in the state, they would rather someone else do that. Then, they vote on delegates based not upon the lack of information--the guy who did the job previously but didn't show up somehow gets an exception and in fact may look better than other candidates. Lets vote for him.
I admit: I don't know the rules to delegates or to caucuses or even to the electoral college--or really anything. I just know that my voice is often disregarded, so why should I be anything other than disillusioned? I could take the time to figure it out, but in politics, time is everything and if you miss you shot it's a long time before you get another. Usually years.
Read that again for me please because I think 90% of people will double-take and question what I'm talking about.
Let me enlighten you:
I've lived in Utah my whole life--minus a brief 2 year stint in West Virginia for religious prison. I've sat back and watched the political ball field through the years in my state. First, I was a silent observer because I wasn't of voting age, then I gained my citizenship--actually, I just turned 18, that's it, but that year I didn't vote for anything. Probably because I was inbetween the important elections, or probably because of the real issue:
To register to vote, you have to have a physical address. --I moved away from my parent's house at 17, but I was kind of inbetween--half of the time I was at my parents; half of the time I was in another city. I was in limbo and my life was very emotionally driven in those years--probably it still is.
The one year I voted, I absentee voted by mail because it's easier--while I was living in WV. I was 19 at the time, go me. It was for the president. It was against Obama--I think for McCain (shudders). I really had no clue what I was voting for because I was preoccupied with my religion and merely voted with what my religion told me to and what my parents told me to.
Ever since then, I haven't been able to vote.
...And if you think about it, that vote wasn't really a fair vote, it wasn't really reflective of me, it was reflective of my religion. So ya, I admit it: I don't vote. Not that I don't study the candidates, not that I don't talk politics. Not that I don't know who I Would vote for, but because of what I think most people call "disillusionment with the voting system"
After I got back from my religious stint, I lived in one house, then moved elsewhere in the county to another house, then moved back to Logan, then moved back to Plain City, then moved to North Ogden, Brigham city, Taylorsville, Slatterville, and now West Jordan.
When it comes time to vote, I've been "stuck at work"--well, to say that is kind of tricky: I've been at work all morning, afternoon and into the evening, then I guess things would pile up so I couldn't physically go down to where I needed to go to vote.
Furthermore, when I looked into voting by mail--Which is an option--I was told I had to register my new address with the county recorder--which is standard, sure, and it sounds simple enough, just print off this piece of paper and mail it to the recorder or go down there in person. --I don't even know where to go for that kind of thing....What's the address? What times of day can I go? Who is it?--Okay, maybe I'll choose option B) mail it in. But then I have to buy a stamp book, because I don't use stamps all that often. And envelops. Oh, and paper and ink for my printer--well, right now I don't even have a printer. So I guess I could go to the library?
Oh, and did I mention that I live in West Jordan but own a house in Taylorsville, and I won't be living in W. Jordan by the end of the year most likely? ...How many times do I have to change my address? how many stamps? How many pieces of paper printed? (I've moved 7 Times in the last 5 years.)
This is already looking like a lot of red tape, just to cast a vote.
Okay, let's add more red tape:
In Utah, the electoral college is still a little secretive in my mind. Who votes? Senators? House of Reps? I'm confused and it's all very blurry to me. No one taught this in my Citizenship course in High School, but what I do know is that it's all or nothing and it's always Republican here in Utah. [2012 it was 740,000 to 250,000 Rep- to Dem votes, so to make any leeway, 500,000 people or 1/6th of the state would have to vote strictly for democrats.--but did we award 1 collegate vote to Obama-Bidden? No. ]
So. I disagree with a lot of things the Republican party is saying these days. What options do I have here? Do I have any? --In light of past performance, 60-75% of the Utah popular vote goes to a republican candidate, I think the only thing to do is to appeal to the Republican party to hear my concerns.
Do I just send a letter to my senators (no, he'll throw it away along with all the rest of his junk mail).
How do you make any difference in Utah?
You caucus.
But that's silly. Not everyone goes or can go to the caucuses just the same as when they can't vote. They try to accommodate everyone, but how could they? It's just more red tape that people have to cross to get their voice heard here in the state.
Caucuses though--they sound so simple!
Here's how the republican caucus goes in the republican theocracy of Utah: They have a prayer. (which, I disagree with, because one can believe in God--one of the party's main beliefs--but that god could be the Buddhist God, or the Indian God, or the Scientology God, or the Muslim God or what have you, and they all pray very differently though they all tend to believe in that same god of the universe. How does one voice such a concern to their party?--it's not on the voting ballot).
Next, they elect caucus positions, and caucus delegates which are just another layer of separation between who has a voice and who doesn't in this state--the delegates vote on the positions in the state, such as senator or governor, not really the people; and sure, they are supposed to vote based on the people in their caucus--their neighbors, etc. but they don't always, and more often than not their neighbors don't say anything to them so they vote for who they themselves want to vote for.
All of this is very silly to me.
I get that we don't live in a Democracy, we live in a Republic, but this isn't even a Republic. The layer upon layer upon layer confuses things. So not only does the Utah vote come down to 6 people, it comes down to 6 people who are influenced by 40 people who are influenced by really just the 30 or 40 people who attend the republican caucus. Do the math, that's less than 10k people who influence 6/538 (1%) of the presidential campaign.
In order words, 10k people make up the 1% of political power here in Utah. 10K people are the 1%.
And even at the Republican Caucus I attended, 2 delegates represent me on the state level--they influence the Governor, the Senators, and I believe the house of reps--you know, that lowly position that is supposed to be an advocate for all the people in his or her jurisdiction but has very little power to do anything. Out of 40 people that were there, only 3 people ran for those 3 seats--I was one of them. To add to it, they allowed someone who was not even at the caucus to run --AND WIN--one of the seats. Is that fair? I wasn't aware that you could run for something and then not show up on the day of the election...?
This whole process seems to reinforce my belief about what is wrong with the republican party. People don't want to really be active--they don't want to run for delegate in the state, they would rather someone else do that. Then, they vote on delegates based not upon the lack of information--the guy who did the job previously but didn't show up somehow gets an exception and in fact may look better than other candidates. Lets vote for him.
I admit: I don't know the rules to delegates or to caucuses or even to the electoral college--or really anything. I just know that my voice is often disregarded, so why should I be anything other than disillusioned? I could take the time to figure it out, but in politics, time is everything and if you miss you shot it's a long time before you get another. Usually years.
Thursday, March 3, 2016
Robotic Automation: Part 1
This is another one of this "ahah! moments." why didn't I see this earlier?
Soon, automation and robots will take over 95% of jobs. What's left will be creative jobs that require a lot of education (Not the present form of education that we think of, but the kind where you have to know a lot about a lot of things). Jobs like: Inventors, Engineers (of all kind), Artists and Designers, as well as resource managers, accountants, and sadly lawyers, salesmen, and politicians will be just about the only jobs necessary for our society.
In fact, it's starting right now. Your jobs are slowly being taken away and you probably don't realize it.
Customer service? --Nah, you're an actor, everything's scripted and a robot could do your job, you just sit here and pretend that you can help people.
Manufacturing? --Definitely nope. Your jobs were taken away a long time ago and only the poorest, weakest companies are relying on humans.
Bankers? --Nope. Finance isn't about making decisions, it's about upselling you on different loans or lying about your qualifications so that you get a different kind of loan. The hard work of finance is taken care of by mathematically algorithms. And Tellers? Ever heard of an Automatic Teller Machine? If people could figure out how to use one they wouldn't go to a teller.
Wake up everyone! We as a human race have hit the ceiling of our present understanding of how life is supposed to work. It's time to evolve our way of thinking or be left behind!
People talked about this day back in the 70s when robotics were taking hold of the human mind. Slowly machines started manufacturing things for us. Then, last year, the 3D printer became a valid reality. Anyone can obtain one if they want one... Except for maybe people outside of Amazon's shipping radius of 75+ countries.
The future is now.
We live in a world where anyone can make any product that they can think of and have it in under 1 month. How you ask?
1. Hire a freelancer from one of the freelance sites like Odesk to do a CAD drawing of a sketch that you drew. Can't draw? Hire a 13 year old next door to do it for you.
2. Next, hire another freelancer online or a local who you know has a 3D printer to produce 1 prototype of the device.
3. Record a video of the device in action using your Cell phone.
4. Hire a video editor freelancer to mash up the video and make it interesting--actually, maybe even come to them before you record it and ask for tips and that you'll hire them to edit it when you're done.
5. Share your video online on social media.
6. Set up an online campaign through one of the big online advertisers (Google, Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin etc etc) under a pay per click model.
7. Use the same process to design and create the boxes that you'll be shipping in.
8. For the first few orders you can rely on someone else to use their 3D printer to print your product. After a while though you can get your own 3D printer and print a product every time you sell it.
--Guess what? If you use this model you effectively diminish the business risk down to just the price of hiring freelancers, the cost of a 3d printer, and any piecemeal fees for things like paying UPS to ship it, paying for 3D plastic reels, paying an online store a commission, etc.--Let me break down that cost for you: Freelance designers will design packaging for you for $20 in some other country. Editors charge $15-$50 to edit a simple video of your product and make it presentable. A CAD designer will probably charge you $15-100 to make your thingamajig. The 3D printer only costs $1500.
That means your first prototype will cost somewhere less than $2,000
That's $166/Mo for a year, or $5.50/day for 365 days. --Go without that video game you're eyeing, skip lunch every day, cut corners here and there until you come up with $2,000. Borrow the money from a pool of friends, pawn your old toys, or even take out a microloan.
After that, all of your expenses are -per product-. That's fancy because that means when a customer buys your product you already know: it costs this much to make it, plus I need to earn back my $2000, plus I want to make X dollars per unit as my share for being an inventor and risk taker. If the customer complains about the price, tell them to go make it themselves, because this is the minimum price you could make it for.
And that's only talking about tangible products--there is also software/digital products which you can use the same formula to get the same result.
We live in the future!
Sunday, February 28, 2016
What I Want
I started podcasting this but stopped. I said all that needed to be said:
"My problem isn't that I don't have the tools, don't have the mindset, don't have the skills, don't have the drive, don't have the resources, don't have the creativity. My problem is that I don't see the future. I don't know what I want and therefore don't want it bad enough to go after it.
--Actually, I do know what I want and it's nothing I have control over because what I want is to have things happen out of my control that are exactly what I want. There are things I can do to take full control over it, but I don't want it to be forced and so I simply do not want to do it.
This is why Macbeth is my favorite Shakespeare play. Because it points out the problem of taking control over your destiny. He sees what he wants--he doesn't want it at first, but the weird sisters tell him that it's going to happen and when he sees the potential of it, that's when he realizes that he wants it. --I feel ya there! People have made it clear to me that it's possible, the thing that I want, and I'm very good at getting to my point of "Thane of Cawdor," and I can totally believe it. But then when I have the knife in my hand and I see my king lying right there, the whole rest of the story plays through my mind and torments me.
I don't want it to happen that way. I want it to happen naturally.
I know people who would kill to be in my situation. They would be Macbeth. They would be king for a time and they would die a king--just like macbeth. But I would not want that.
"My problem isn't that I don't have the tools, don't have the mindset, don't have the skills, don't have the drive, don't have the resources, don't have the creativity. My problem is that I don't see the future. I don't know what I want and therefore don't want it bad enough to go after it.
--Actually, I do know what I want and it's nothing I have control over because what I want is to have things happen out of my control that are exactly what I want. There are things I can do to take full control over it, but I don't want it to be forced and so I simply do not want to do it.
This is why Macbeth is my favorite Shakespeare play. Because it points out the problem of taking control over your destiny. He sees what he wants--he doesn't want it at first, but the weird sisters tell him that it's going to happen and when he sees the potential of it, that's when he realizes that he wants it. --I feel ya there! People have made it clear to me that it's possible, the thing that I want, and I'm very good at getting to my point of "Thane of Cawdor," and I can totally believe it. But then when I have the knife in my hand and I see my king lying right there, the whole rest of the story plays through my mind and torments me.
I don't want it to happen that way. I want it to happen naturally.
I know people who would kill to be in my situation. They would be Macbeth. They would be king for a time and they would die a king--just like macbeth. But I would not want that.
Repetition
I started to write an article and then realized that I probably said that already. It was very deja vu and I thought perhaps I shouldn't say it (at least not in that context) since I think I Said that already.
I'm going to do a seach for it after I Write it and see how accurate I can quote myself:
"There is a famous movie quote from 'The Good the Bad and the Ugly' where Tuco says 'If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?' and I think that applies to the way we as a society funciton."
Search inconclusive.
--So I guess I haven't said this yet even though it seems like I have. Maybe I'll proceed with that post after this one.
But what I wanted to write right at this time is that it seems like I've been repeating myself a lot lately. I am hung up on all these quotes and beliefs and ideas that circle around my head and I keep coming back to them. I think I use them as defining ideals of my life and why I'm stuck in the situation I'm stuck in.
What am I stuck in?
I am unhappy working a job for someone else and the package that comes with it. Actually, it started with being upset that I didn't have a place of my own to invite friends over and blaming that on why I didn't have close friends and why I had a lot of secrets.
Really it was that I was uncomfortable explaining my life decisions to people. Still am. And mostly that's because I don't know how to communicate it completely--it's still hanging over me and I don't have closure over it and I'm still making sense of it and until I have closure and a way to make sense of it I don't think I can explain it simply.
--Explaining it simply...that's really what everything in my brain comes down to. I repeat thoughts over and over and over trying to pick them apart until I can concisely say them in words and make sense of them.--that's what we all do to an extent, but I think my mind wraps around really complex things that are incredibly deep.
So back to the previous statement. I'm unhappy working for someone else not because of the someone else, per say, but because of the implicates that come with it. I don't like feeling ripped off, and that's how I feel. I feel as though I'm getting ripped off in so many way: I have to live a certain lifestyle that supports being away from home for 8+ hours a day. I have to lock myself into a living place close to my work otherwise I waste so much time. I have to solve new problems that I've already solved such as how to make friends in new places, how to not be bored. How to feel good about myself and manage stress from things I have no control about because my bosses have control over them.
I look at my whole situation and I think: I'm selling myself. I sell my energy, skills and time and I get back money, but I can't use that money right now because I don't have the time, or energy. What kind of joke is this? I had time and energy but no money and I was genuinely satisfied with that. What I wasn't satisfied with and I didn't reconcile with was whether I would be able to continue it in the future and I struggled with the feeling that society was looking down on me. . .
Whether I would be able to continue that, and whether society really was looking down on me is up for debate, but whether I have the time and energy now to spend my money, is not.
I definitely prefer that life over this one. This one I think will only be temporary and I need to get a different game plan in place...again.
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